I remember this one time, back in college, when America and me went out to the bars in B-Town and we went to this one place -- Jimmy's, on Sixth St. down by that pizza joint, the one that's a biker bar now -- and anyways America was drinking Jager shots and hitting on this AOPi chick and he's all like "I spend more on defense than all the other dudes in the world combined" and she's all like "wow, what kind of car do you drive?" and I'm thinking "if America thinks I'm going to be his wing man again tonight he's crazy" and then, like out of nowhere, he just spews all over this sorority chick, like big chunks -- looked some of the smaller New England states or somethin' -- and she's screaming and crying and America, he's totally wasted now, he says "oh yeah? you wanna' piece of me, bitch?" and then some dude comes over and he's like "is this global super power causing you any problems?" and I'm like "let's go, man, LET'S GO!" and I'm trying to pull him away cause I don't want any trouble or anything and America could be a pretty mean drunk and all, but he's all stumbling around and trying to take a swing at the guy with his right arm while I'm trying to drag him outta' there by his left arm and then somehow he slips out of his jacket and I'm standing there holding this jacket and America leaps into the crowd and proceeds to get the **** kicked out of him by a bunch of Theta Chis.
Oh man, good times. Good times.