family vs finances

She would see only the rants.

It's interesting how in a long term relationship with a sister or close friend that a lot of stuff can fester.

If you are abusive, I'm the King of Siam.

I do get a little black cloud thing going on sometimes.

Gotta get moving soon, k.
But I just wanted to quickly say that I find this habit of your sister's of CC-ing other members of your family about an employment issue between the 2 of you quite wrong. (I know you think there could be some point to it.) What does she want? For everyone to take sides, or something? It's really no one else's business & it's unfair to drag them in to it.

Oh & I agree with what squinney's said, too.

Thanks, O.

Another scathing email just sent. Well, it started nice anyway. I hate this. I never know what's going to be too far. Or have been too far.

ehBeth's post makes sense to me.

I also agree with what you (or Dasha, or both) came up with about long-standing percolating stuff coming out now (DON'T put this on the gross thread please!) because the end is near. That's a standard psychological thing, I think.

I can easily imagine that she has a lot of guilt and negativity towards you simply because you're the nanny. There is a basic replacement thing going on there, and everyone I've ever talked to who has a nanny seems to find negatives that make themselves feel better -- "she's just the nanny, I'm the mom."

It also seems to have something to do with her personality, aside from the nanny-mom relationship.

I could also see that the fact that you're really doing something with your life now, getting your degree, etc. kind of stymies her default way of interacting with you. That she's the responsible older sister who needs to take care of her free spirited younger sister. That she LIKES having you in that role -- easy to complain about, easy to feel superior -- and having you in a more mature role freaks her out on some level.

Anyway, that's just musings. I hope you work something out that is satisfactory and that you guys can move on to a more mature relationship at some point...

That is SO going on the gross thread.

Having someone you can fully trust with your children,
is the ultimate luxury for every mother - it's practically priceless,
and should be rewarded accordingly.

I can appreciate your sister's frustration and resentment for not being
able to be with her kids during the daytime, but that is a choice she made,
and has absolutely nothing to do with you, littlek.

She is making you responsible for her choices, especially not having gotten
more raises in her profession. That's ludicrous! Had she worked harder,
asserted herself more (like she does with you) than financial gain and
acknowledgement would have come her way.

She's trying to make you feel guilty, don't let her!

CJane, she is very well paid, no worries there.

worrit!
worrit!

Gadzundheit!

There is also a psychological thing that happens, to which soz alluded. It is well known that when a kid comes home from college on vacation, invariably he will have a fight with the parents right before he is ready to return to school.

The reason is, that the student can think to himself "I really don't need you", when he is really feeling the opposite. He is torn between the desire to separate, with the desire to be with the familiar, the comfortable.

I think something similar is going on with your sister.

another day of this. But I am feeling like I don't have much left to say, which is good.

Well perhaps the two of you can get out what you need and continue on at this point? I just hope it goes well.

{{HUGS}}

It seems that it is mostly over, the ranting. It seems that it did more good than harm. For me it did anyway. We'll see.

It's been nice to be seeing you around here again, Quinn.

ONly time will tell and at least you aren't all bottled up!!

Nice to see you too!

But any progress on the disputed 2 weeks of pay, k?

A simple yes or no response is fine. :wink:

No. It went beyond that. I have maybe 5-6 days work on the Cape. It'll be flexible hours. It'll make up the difference, if it all works out as I am hoping it will.

Ah well, k. <sigh>
But at least this will all end soon!
And so long as you have enough $$$ to survive the summer.
Your sister is going to find out, very soon, what the real value of your work with her children actually was! Say nothing of the proper wage & acceptable conditions for such work!
... & I'm sure you'll be very sympathetic when she complains! :wink:

Oy. Seems she had her kids' schedule off by a week. There would have really only been one disputed week. But, now I have appointments and work scheduled for the two weeks, so she and her hubby have to make due. So hard to take the high road.