I Don't Know What To Do or Think Anymore

I'm going to do my best to keep this from getting long winded.
So this starts over 5 years ago in April 2010. Me and my BF started seeing each other and our relationship progressed normally. We moved in together after a year of getting to know each other. As time progressed I developed an addiction to opiates and benzos. This obviously put a strain on our relationship as any addiction would. It reached it's breaking point when I pawned an irreplaceable gold ring that belonged to my BF, he had it since he was a baby. When I went to retrieve it I was told it was accidentally melted down due to miscommunication between employees. I completely understand I should have never touched something that wasn't mine. Absolutely no excuse for my actions, just giving some back story. After this our relationship began to uncoil and unravel to it's inevitable end. Because without trust, even after 5 years together.....it's almost impossible to get it back. I ended up getting arrested for shoplifting, again to support my addiction. Definitely a blessing in disguise because I was on a downward spiral. I was able to get clean in the 47 days I spent in jail.
When I got out I had finally become the guy my boyfriend always wanted, my old self. Unfortunately it was too late, I no longer had a BF and I no longer lived with him. People do incredibly stupid things when in the whirlwind of addiction, I sure did. But this never meant I loved my BF any less, he was my world. And yet I let him down so completely and with my head down and tail between my legs, I accepted the demise of our relationship. Because with my new found clarity it was understandable why I was now single.
5 months had passed with no communication between us, it was the worst and longest period of my life. I was depressed, heartbroken, alone, full of regret all while adjusting to being single after 5 years. Adjusting to not hearing my BF's voice, waking up to his face and falling asleep to his heartbeat. I knew what I had done and taken responsibility for my actions. There is no one to blame but myself. All I could do was pick myself back up, ensure I learn from my mistakes and carry on while improving myself daily. But this didn't make the pain in my heart any easier to deal with. I spent countless nights unable to sleep running through "what if's" & " why didn't I".
I wanted to reach out to him everyday and tell him again how sorry I was and how much I love and miss him. But I respected his decision and his right to be happy with someone else. Then out of the blue at midnight I received a text from him simply saying "I miss you so much". The developed a lump in my throat and tears streamed down my face. Here was the text I wanted to send him everyday for 5 months, coming from him. I didn't respond until the next day because I was overwhelmed and didn't exactly know what to say. I sent him an email explaining that I felt exactly the same way, that not a moment in the day went by where he wasn't on my mind. He told me he misses and loves me so much, that he used to think we had nothing in common but realized that we were the same. That he always thinks of the many good times we shared together, and all the little things that were taken for granted. And how incredibly alone he felt without me in his life.
Suffice to say we both felt the same way about each other still, and realized it more than ever in our months apart. So naturally we couldn't wait to see each other, and we made plans for me to spend the night with him at his house. I met him at his work when he got out and we took his car bag to his place. My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my rib-cage from the sound of his voice, the smell of his skin and the anticipation of his touch. On the way to his house we briefly shared what we had been doing for the last 5 months. It was during this time he admitted to me that he indeed was "In A Relationship" with someone and had been for the past 4 months.
He explained to me that they had nothing in common and he rushed into it trying to replace me and fill the void that I left in his life. That he didn't love him and they were always fighting, that he was someone to keep his mind off of me. Of course no one wants to hear about the love of their life being with somebody else. But I didn't care because he wanted me back in his life, and so did I. When we got to the house and sat on the couch to watch T.V., there was an awkwardness to falling back into our life together, like we were never apart. But I didn't know how to approach the situation, he has a new BF....can I hug him? Does he want to hug me? Was this night for catching up and taking things slow?
He looked at me and patted the couch next to him and motioned me to sit beside him. My eyes started watering as I sat beside him and his hand slid into mine. He looked me in the eyes, tears also beginning to fill his own. And without missing a beat we collapsed into each other's arms and the flood gate of emotion surged out. We were crying like children as we sat and held each other for what seemed like hours. And as we broke away our lips met and our grips tightened, we both felt as if this overwhelming weight had been lifted. It felt as if I could finally breathe again after 5 months of having my head underwater. All of those feelings I was trying to suppress to begin the healing process of getting over a relationship, all came bubbling to the surface. Without missing a beat we were upstairs in our old bedroom, the one that now only slept one. What took place for the next hour was 5 months worth of dreams and wishes coming true, our love reignited.
The rest of the night consisted of cuddling, crying and us discussing "where do we start?", "how do we fix this?". His family had obviously written me off as soon as we were no longer together. And they were obviously upset with the things that I had done that led to us breaking up. And his new BF hadn't done anything wrong, and was a nice guy. How does he end it with him? Overwhelmed with the tasks that laid in front of us, the mission of rebuilding our relationship.....we fell asleep wrapped tightly together.
When morning came both of us had barely slept, and we didn't want to let go of each other. But he had to be to his mother's and I obviously couldn't join him like I did for years before. So we said our goodbyes and went our separate ways until the next time we could be together. I thought "here we go, I get what most people don't get....an opportunity to do things right. To be with my soulmate, my heart and my best friend. To forever redeem myself and make everything up to him". As the days went by we continued texting, figuring out the soonest we could see each other again. The next night we spent together, as I lay in his arms and he thought I was deep asleep, he pulled me close and whispered "I'm going to marry you one day." In that moment I was the happiest I had been been in a long time.
It's been 6 weeks since that night, and he's still in a relationship with the other guy. We only see each other once a week at his house at night for a sleepover. Everyday I ask him to go on dates or to see me and he always has an excuse. When I bring up why he hasn't broken it off with his BF yet, he says "He and I only see each other once a week and we don't have sex". Almost all together avoiding answering the question. I've told him I can't sit here and see him be with another guy and take the backseat. That it's killing me that they're still together and I don't know why. It's going to be a process rebuilding what we once had, and he hasn't even started. I only see him once a week and every time I push to see him more he says I'm stressing him out. Every time I try to make romantic and fun plans he's always got an excuse or a reason why he can't. This is driving me insane and I'm falling apart, like my heart is breaking all over again. I truly don't know what to do, I want us to be together and have a future. But how long do I wait? Why isn't he trying? Doesn't he want to see me as much I want to see him? When I bring up these questions he says I'm giving him anxiety and that I'm being overly sensitive.