family vs finances

cicerone imposter wrote:

From the US Department of Labor.

Earnings

Well, cicerone, these numbers probably look good to littlek, especially
after the exploitation she's received from her sister. By the time littlek
is finished with her masters, she'll be 40 years old and doesn't have
much time to accumulate benefits for her retirement. She needs a secure
job without an work interruption from here on.

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That is good news! She always impressed me as someone with intelligence and responsibility, but this thread seems like she's in desperate straits. I stand corrected.

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Me too. If littlek is around 40, she only has 22-25 years to prepare for retirement. It may sound like a long time, but believe me, as you get older, the years literally fly.

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Chai wrote:

This sister, have you always gotten along with her? What's your basic relationship been? yes, we get along easily, most of the time

How do you envision your relationship with her 5, 10 years from now? Is she the type of sis that you'd be visiting each other often, sharing good times? I expect to be visiting regularly and spending lots of time with the kids

Do you really know your sister well? (strange question I know, but perhaps it's important to ask) yes

Your mother....in the past/present does she favor her over you or visa- versa, in general?
Or, has she always tried to treat you equally? Our mother has taken pains to not take sides (always has). She's trying to employ a mediations tactic, but isn't doing that very well.

Does you mother try to gloss over/cover over problems, or is she the type who will openly discuss differences? She tries to mediate. Not quite gloss over, but find common ground.

Your family dynamics...If you person doesn't agree with another, does that mean you are "fighting" or does it mean that no 2 people think the same way about everything. It means we think differently. Fighting involves yelling, not speaking variably.

If one lives their life in such a way the other one doesn't approve, or does something the other wouldn't do...is that some sort of black mark against the first person? um..... black mark? I don't die my hair, she keeps telling I should. We don't fight about it. I ignore her. I feel she spends money recklessly and that only matters because I work for her - she's buying shoes instead of giving me a raise, etc.

Is this sister older or young? If she's older, does she feel it gives her the right to "boss" younger siblings around for the next 60 years of their lives? she is older, oldest of 4. I think she thinks she is leading us, but I think none of us think that she is.

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JPB is right, I'm getting into teaching and plan to put as much as I can into IRAs for retirement. And work summers.

CI, homelessness? (Ah, I see). Been there, done that.

Teaching will suffice if I live frugally. I have no children and intend not to. Teaching also provides a good chunk of retirement pay.

As to the other questions. I would be screwed if I was hurt or sick I do have medical and dental insurance as well as AAA accident insurance. I pay for all of it out of pocket. If I couldn't work, I dunno what would happen. As I said, they are loath to give me sick days off, but what they have given me has been paid sick time. It's never been for more than 3 days in a row.

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I don't understand the whole "teachers don't get paid a lot" cry. Around here, they can make decent money, depending on the town. Friend of mine has been a teacher for only 4 years or so, and is making $55K, and will hit $70K within the next few years. Plus summers off to do bartending/side work, and that's not a bad living. How much are they supposed to make? Start out at $100K with a Liberal Arts degree? Ain't happening on a city budget unless you're a cop working 70hrs a week. Not sure why some teachers think they're worth double their education level. I've got friends who are attorneys not making much.

On the other hand, some towns really do pay crap. Think my ex was started out only around $35K.

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Slappy, Pay is relative; cost of living vs pays for other professions. I still think, over all, teacher pay stinks. To attract teachers to our area, Silicon Valley, the communities are subsidizing the cost of homes/apartments, because the pay is still too low - starting at about $35K/year. People working at the animal shelter make more.

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I wouldn't mind making $35k a year, but my house is paid, which of course makes a huge difference.
I'm told teachers are paid pretty good in these parts and the cost of living isn't near as high as it is there.

Either way, I think 35k is a pretty good starting wage.

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Point is: what are you going to do now, littlek?

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Quote:

Sorry, Stray Cat, we cross posted. My post landed after yours but was directed towards those who were saying she didn't have any future and would end up homeless.

Oh, I see! Sorry about the misunderstanding!

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littlek wrote:

fishin wrote:
Hey lil'k, I have a question for you. Are you a legit "employee" in this? Or are you considered a contractor? (or is all of this under the table? )

According to the IRS they are supposed to treat me as an employee, take taxes and all. But, since they are family, we have been using the 10k tax free to family members loop hole. So.....

*nods* So unemployment compensation for a few weeks isn't an option.

How are you at installing floor tile and kitchen cabinets? I'm working in your city this month doing a rehab on a house if you are looking for some side work. Wink

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(pst, c.i. .... Most folk don't become teachers expecting to become wealthy. (Though the level of pay should better reflect teachers' worth to their communities, certainly.) There are other strong motivating factors that draw us to the profession. :wink: )

Just wanted to say that. Very Happy

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ms olga, I know that! When I met my wife, she was a charge nurse in a San Francisco hospital. Even then, nurse's pay was dismal. However, since then, nurses pay have dramatically increased to a level not thought of back in the early sixties. When she retired early last year, we was earning the full-time equivalent of almost $100,000/year. Maybe, teacher pay will see some improvement in the future; I certainly hope so.

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I'll just be skipping over the greater issue of me screwing my life up and continue with the issues at hand.

I finally asked my sister for an email directly. Her offer was for paid vaca time, but not to pay me for the double-camp weeks. I told her ok and then got the whole rant off my chest. I hit send and realized she had, inexplicably, CCd my mother. So now my mother knows I think that she screwed things up a little. Wonderful.

But, now my chest feels a little less heavy.

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That might not be so awful, though. At least it's out in the open now. Less agita that way, at least I hope so.

I hope it all works out okay for you.

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Thanks. I certainly feel less agitated.

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Sometimes its good to just let it rip. It's okay, they'll get over it. Good to hear she came through with something...all is well.

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Did you hit reply all?

Not that it matters, as I feel you have been as temperate as one could imagine being.

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I'm with Quinn. Sometimes all you need it to let her rip and take that load off.
I use to keep everything bottled up inside because I absolutely hated to offend anyone, but it was eating me alive inside, so I decided that was best for me to just lay my feeling out on the table, good or bad and it's amazing how much emotional weight it took off me.

Best wishes to you Littlek.

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Keeping it inside can be detrimental to your health. On the "other side" of that, it's best to forgive than remember the bad things.

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family vs finances

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