family vs finances

I was just telling my sons girlfriend yesterday how nice I use to be and how some people use to walk all over me because of it, which is why I'm not who I use to be anymore.
I liked who I was, but unfortunately, I paid a dear price for being too nice.

I'm still nice, but see what happens when someone tries to take advantage of me these days

Well, you think she's not trying to intentionally taking advantage of you,
littlek? Then read the statement above again. You will suffer financially for years to come on this decision, especially when retirement is upon you.
Your sister screwed you over big time for 8 years - you let her do it, so you're partially to blame, but do us all a favor and wake up now!

There's that nice word again.

I'm still trying to get my mind around working for you sister as a nanny.

I didn't know that's what you did. I mean, I knew you worked as a nanny, but I can't imagine keeping it business with a sister.

littlek, it sounds like sis isn't going to open up her purse unless she thinks there's something in it for her.

So, I agree with CJ. Maybe you should look into getting some other employment -- even if it's just at a convenience store or something. (And a lot of department stores offer pretty good wages, and flexible hours.)

Then, you can give your sis an ultimatum. Either she pays you for the two weeks she owes you -- or she can forget about having nanny service from you for the rest of the summer.

Take it or leave it, sis! Either pay me for the whole enchilada or you get nada!

It's not that you're trying to be mean, but -- sheesh! -- she can't have it both ways!

littlek, I'm sorry for having to ask some background questions, but I haven't kept up with this nanny/sister business. I'll have to read your life at home thread right from the beginning.

so...if you don't mind answering...

This sister, have you always gotten along with her? What's your basic relationship been?

How do you envision your relationship with her 5, 10 years from now? Is she the type of sis that you'd be visiting each other often, sharing good times?

Do you really know your sister well? (strange question I know, but perhaps it's important to ask)

Your mother....in the past/present does she favor her over you or visa- versa, in general?
Or, has she always tried to treat you equally?

Does you mother try to gloss over/cover over problems, or is she the type who will openly discuss differences?

Your family dynamics...If you person doesn't agree with another, does that mean you are "fighting" or does it mean that no 2 people think the same way about everything.
If one lives their life in such a way the other one doesn't approve, or does something the other wouldn't do...is that some sort of black mark against the first person?

Is this sister older or young? If she's older, does she feel it gives her the right to "boss" younger siblings around for the next 60 years of their lives?

I'll be back later.

So on one hand you are not paying taxes on the $10,000. On the other you won't get any social security based on your real salary. What if you get hurt? Do they pay worker's comp? Do you have health insurance?

If you decide to leave, and can't get another job right away, can you get unemployment? If you leave, and your sister is pissed about it, will she give you a decent reference?

Seems that you had some advantages in the deal, but overall, you are in a very vulnerable position. If it were me, I would be looking for another position. I think that the incident with your sister may have been a good thing, as it was a "wake up call".

She can pay into the state disability system to be eligible in the event of any disability. She won't get unemployment or social security when she retires. How does she plan to retire on no income? Her sister?

I seem to recall l'k including retirement planning as part of the impetus to get her teaching credentials and a 'regular job'.

I hope she's prepared for her homeless status sometime in the future.

That's pretty cruel, ci.

Not cruel, JPB, reality. Some people need a wake up call.

I agree with c.i. The way that he couched his remarks were a bit blunt, but realistic. IMO, littlek has boxed herself into a corner, and she needs to extricate herself from it as soon as possible.

Littlek- We care about you. You are young enough to go out and start a career for yourself. You have a lot of good experience, and there are plenty of child care places that would be thrilled to have you, while you finish your schooling.

Hey, that's a good idea! I'll bet a lot of daycare centers would need help over the summer.

Re: family vs finances


She's doing it, she's doing it! I believe she was also working in a pre-school this spring. This is a summertime issue as a stop-gap to the beginning of the rest of her life.

JPB, I'm not sure I understand your point.

I'm not trying to be a smart-ass here (honest!), but I get it that littlek needs employment over the summer. So I'm not sure what last spring or this fall has to do with it.

We were just saying that it'd be difficult for her to find employment for just two weeks -- so she might have to find some other employment for the rest of the summer -- and her sis might have to look for nanny service elsewhere.

JPB, As most of us know, school teacher pay is the pits - even with a masters. Even the majority of college profs with Phds aren't all that hot. I'm sure all of us hope she does well, and we also know we need good teachers. The biggest problem with our education system is No Child Left Behind; they're all mandated to teach to the standardized tests sacrificing almost everything else. We are also lacking in math and science students. Not a good sign for the future of our economy.

From the US Department of Labor.



Earnings

Exactly, that's it! She's left in limbo over the summer weeks, and is asking
herself how to pay the bills and feed herself while her sister is vacationing
and living the good life.

Not being able to collect social security later on, and unemployment benefits
now while working hard for 8 years is just plain unexcusable, sorry to say.

Sorry, Stray Cat, we cross posted. My post landed after yours but was directed towards those who were saying she didn't have any future and would end up homeless.

CI, teachers may not be the highest paid professionals on the planet, but those salaries are a giant leap from where she is today. I don't see littlek ending up homeless. She's used to living frugally and still has time to put monies aside for her future. She DOES need to get a regular job and work enough quarters to qualify for SS and Medicare, but that's certainly part of her plan. This is exactly why she is back in school getting her masters. She has every intention of planning for her future needs.