Sick of being turned down by wife

Re: Sick of being turned down by wife

Sexy....

I know things are going to be interesting when I come home to find Mr. B has touched up his makeup and put a ribbon in his hair.

But I do agree with the others that she needs some time to unwind -- sometimes sex can become just another thing on your "to do" list. And, like most things on a to do list it is easily put off. The longer you put it off the easier it is to forget about it.

I know everybody's different but the romantic get away idea doesn't really do it for me. Too much pressure for things to be "perfect". Too many expectations.

For me the best way to unwind is right here at my own house. That, of course, means Mr. B clear the hell out and take Mo with him. And not just for a couple of hours but for like eight hours. By the time he gets back I'll be recharged and ummm....errr..... appreciative.

Make sure you have some supervised activities scheduled for the kids upon your return so you can ignore them for a bit.

sex and the withholding of it are the number one weapon in a womans arsenal. nothing will ever change that. live with it.

And that is the real reason that the internet has been so sucessful.

I forgot to add and they WILL use it without regard, anytime they feel like it. :wink:

... and its are own fault Bear. Why did men ever let them push this monogamy thing on us?

That's right. It's a weapon!

I mean after all, we're just girls. We're so silly that we could never get anything we wanted without having to tease it out of you big strong men. My word, if it weren't for our sex weapon we'd actually have to do something other than yak on the phone and eat candy all day. Imagine!

So, yes. The secret is out. It's a weapon.

I'll probably get kicked out of the gossip circle now.

nice try boom ... but that dog doesn't hunt. :wink:

Well heavens to Betsy.

I confirm what you've suspected all along and now you think I'm lying.

<humph>

I'd try to explain but I saw the cutest little shoes at Saks so Mr. B is coming home for lunch if you get my drift.

Ta ta!

<sashay>

thing is boom.... it's not even anything special.... but we enter into this marriage thing and can't have any other.... if we're decent people... and if we are we get rewarded by doing without one hell of a lot more than our single or adulterous brothers.....you gals really are angels...

Yeah... sex is a lot less expensive when you are single.

We give up getting to have sex with anybody else when we get married too, if we're decent people, and sometimes that's a real drag for us too.

No kidding.

(Wholeheartedly agreeing with boomer all the way through, and more than a little amused that the "but that's sexist...!" people are spewing such sexist drivel...)

I'm with boomer and soz.

I have to reiterate what boomer said. We give up other partners too. Maybe that's why some of us lose interest in sex, because we know it has to be with you.

My serious point is that men should be the equals to women in issues relating to marriage.

The advice that women get when complain that their husband is not paying attention to them is quite a bit different than the advice given here.

Jake is obviously putting effort into his marriage, and he has obviously made the attempt to communicate.

Still the advice he is given is:

- You need to treat your wife better (i.e. trips, "helping").
- You need to communicate (in spite of the fact that he said he was communicating).
- Stop whining.

I would wager that had this been a woman posting about her husband, the advice would have been quite a bit different.

Jake's wife has an equal responsibility in their marriage. If she is not willing to make the effort to address the problem in their marriage (and if one partner feels ignored it is a problem), then the advice given is useless.

Women are equally responsible for a marriage... and women aren't always right.

Of course women aren't always right.

Men aren't always either.

This is a criticism that you've often made, ebrown, and I think it's selective reading on your part. Overwhelmingly, when someone comes to A2K with a problem, advice is given about what THAT person can do about the situation. It's the husband who started this thread. It may well be that the wife could/ should do more, but she's not here, and he can't control what she does... but he can control his own actions.

Re: Sick of being turned down by wife




I'm not quite getting where the obvious effort or obvious effort to communicate are communicated in jakeman's initial post.

Begging, "talking to" and fighting don't quite make it in my book.

~~~

You're right that marriage/relationships should have two-way communication. However, from the starting post, it doesn't even seem like there's one-way communication going on.

More input from the initial poster might help clarify at least what he's doing.

I completely disagree that the advice would be different.

He said his marriage was otherwise good. He wanted advice on how to get his wife to have sex with him.

When Mr. B is overstressed and preoccupied and forgets to have sex with me I'm like "Baby, why don't you go play some golf or something" which gets him out of the house for the required 8 or so hours that a person needs to unwind. Or I'll grab Mo and head out somewhere for the day so he can just loaf around the house and not have to think of anyone else for a while.

I'll bet if a woman wrote in saying her husband wouldn't have sex with her anymore that we suggest the same things -- "me" time, a romantic get away, make sure he feels appreciated blah blah blah.

I do doubt that someone would suggest that the husband is using sex as a weapon to get what he wants and wax euphoric on how great it would be if we hadn't be trapped in this monogomy gambit.

unless you want something...

women and sex are like children at a birthday party... the birthday girl doesn't want the last piece of cake but will have a **** if another little girl tries to eat it.