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What's up with that?

 
 
Montana
 
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 03:16 am
I am a big time fan of all animals and I get upset when people kill them needlessly. We have neighbors in which the husband is my mothers cousin. Now, this couple know very well about my feelings towards animals, but they continuously feel compelled to tell me every time they kill one.. The husband is a hunter like many men are here in New Brunswick. I don't have anything against people who hunt, but I don't want to hear about it and this couple knows that. We live in the country with the ocean out front and the wilderness out back and we have daily sightings of wild animals at this time of year which include, foxes, deer, beavers, porcupines, coyote, pheasant, etc... Everytime my mothers cousin goes hunting, his wife has to tell me what he killed. 2 years ago he killed a coyote right out back and once again I was told. When we first moved here I was so excited when I saw some deer that I would tell our neighbors and the next thing I knew I see men heading towards the woods with their shot guns. Now when I see deer which is every day at this time of year, I worry about them terribly. We use to have morning doves that came around every day to eat from out bird feeders and a few weeks ago they suddenly stopped. Well, just the other day my moms cousins wife came by and told me that her husband shot them all because they were making a mess. She had her dog with her that day and I've never seen her pick up his crap. before she told me about the doves she said " I'm gonna tell you something and you're not gonna like it"! So, why on earth would she tell me since she knew full well that it was going to bother me?

Don't mind me. I had to get that off my chest!
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Type: Discussion • Score: 0 • Views: 7,819 • Replies: 174
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BumbleBeeBoogie
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 08:44 am
To Montana
Montana, these people obviously view animals differently than you do. They also have no respect for your feelings---and enjoy torturing you with their tales of doing harm to animals.

Anyone who doesn't clean up after their dog is a poop head. Lose them!

-----BumbleBeeBoogie
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edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 08:49 am
They can't accept that you have a right to be your own person. It's no different than the political or religious zealots who are not content to leave you to your own peace of mind. As BumbleBeeBoogie says, "lose them."
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Montana
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 08:53 am
BBB
I hear ya. What really bothers me the most is that these people know how I feel and they could care less. A friend of my mother's was here last month and he does the same thing. He's also a hunter and my mother has told him before not to talk about hunting around me since it bothers me. Anyway, when he was here last month he started talking about how great our house was because he could just open the back door and bag a deer without even leaving the house. Then he looks at me and smiles. I bit my toungue because he's my mothers friend, but I stormed out of the room when he said my rabbit would make a great stew. Jeeez!!!!
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Montana
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 08:55 am
Edgar
I can see that. I wish I could lose them, but since they are my mothers family and friends it's not possible since mom and I share our home.
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BumbleBeeBoogie
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 09:24 am
to Montana
Montana, if I were your mother, I would firmly tell her relatives to knock it off. Your mother has a responsibility to limit deliberate emotional abuse to you in the house you share with your mother if, for no other reason, common courtesy and love for you. I don't know your age, but I hope she would have done it when you were a child. She certainly can do it to your adulthood out of respect for your shared house occupancy.

I wonder why you feel you can't ask these clods to behave themselves when in your house? These dolts are emotional bullies. If you allow yourself to be emotionally abused, no one can insult you in your own house without your permission. Take a stand on the issue, but do it civilly. Your mother should support you in this matter.

-----BumbleBeeBoogie
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 09:54 am
Bumble is right. If you can't command respect in your own home, it is not really your home - It's theirs and your mother's. Time to shake things up or look for a way to move out, painful and hard as that may be. (it's easy for me to say - I'm not you, don't have the same relatives, etc.)
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roger
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 10:35 am
Hard as it may be to believe this, expressing your feelings to some people is nothing less than admitting a vulneralability to be taken advantage of. Sorry, but it's true.

I've nothing against hunting, in principle, but who needs to see photos of a skinned and dressed elk hanging from a tree. Likewise, a certain percentage of dead elk have the points of their antlers made more prominate by being decorated with day glo tennis balls impaled upon them. This, and well ventilated road signs, do not make life easier for those of us who maintain that we do have a right to own a firearm, if we either think we need one, or just enjoy shooting.
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snood
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 11:03 am
Two thoughts...
One, I've experienced how insensitive people can be to feelings, even about things as serious as you talk about. I'm a recovering alcoholic (12 years if I last til September). There have been people who, knowing my situation have jokingly offered me drinks, more than once - and they really think that's funny.

Also, I wanted to tell you to remember that the only person we can really change is ourselves - sometimes you just have to let sickminded bastards be sickminded bastards.
0 Replies
 
Sofia
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 11:20 am
I agree with Rog and snood ( Shocked surreal)

You've sort of put a chip on your shoulder, begging for assholes to knock it off. They are enjoying your reactions. (I do not get this!)

Your mom is their accomplice, IMO. A few, well-chosen words the next time this happens will probably put a stop to this. Of course, I see you live with your mom-- I don't know the ownership of the house-- who pays what...

If it's mom's house, I'd just make myself scarce when her icky, animal- killing-then-gloating friends visit. Actually, I may make myself scarce even if I did own the house, when her friends visited... But, if I had equal or total ownership of the house, and I was thrusted into their presence by circumstance, and slimed with animal killing stories, I would regale them intricately detailed descriptions of something so horrific and taboo, that my mother would fall on her knees in abject humiliation. When I was done, I would say-- I guess some people may find that offensive. That is how I feel about animal killings. With a sweet smile and a wink at the end.
0 Replies
 
Montana
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 07:29 pm
BBB
You're absolutely right. I have bit my toungue so far, but I told my mother that I wasn't going too put up with it anymore. She knows me and knows that when I speak my mind at times like these, it's not pretty, so in fear of me embarrassing her she said she would talk to these people and stop them in their tracks when they start.

Edgar
My mother and I have a very good relationship and moving out is not something either one of us would want.

Roger
I agree. These people are actually nice people in general and I don't know what goes through their heads.

Snood
Congrats on your up coming 12 years. My dad was a recovering alcoholic as well and sick minded people did the same thing to him. After being sober for 13 years he actually took someone up on their offer and ended up in the hospital for a week. NOT FUNNY at all!!!

Sofia
My mom and I both own the house. My mom is an extremely easy going person who never does or says anything to offend anyone which is why she doesn't say much about it. She did warn her friend not to talk about that stuff around me because I'll get mad, but the guy just didn't listen. After he left I made it quite clear to my mother that I was no longer going to put up with this **** in my own home. She begged me to let her handle it because she knows that I won't pull any punches. Out of respect for her I agreed to let her handle it, but I warned her that if it happens again, it's her feelings that are going to be hurt, not mine. My friends wouldn't get away with that and neither will anyone else as long as they're in my home.
I told my mother that I'll tell these people that I kill people who kill animals and bury them in my garden and say that the corpes are great for my veggies, lol! She almost fell off her chair, hahaha!
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Sofia
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 07:44 pm
Montana-- Good for you. Sorry I mistakenly mischaracterized your mom. Embarrassed She sounds really nice.

I'm reminded of a scary guy on Survivor. He had everyone in the camp scared witless. All he did was sharpen a really big knife. Evil or Very Mad Slowly....sharpening....
Twisted Evil
Maybe you can use this, when you tell people you kill animal killers...
0 Replies
 
Montana
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 07:52 pm
Sofia
Hahahaha!!!! Great idea. My mom really is a great lady and it's only because she's so nice that she doesn't say much, but she would much rather be the one to speak up than to leave it up to me, lol! I gotta get my hands on one of those crocodile dundee knives. I can picture it, hahaha!!!!
0 Replies
 
littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 08:13 pm
Trying to look at things in the best light possible, all I can think is that these people think that because you're a 'city girl' you may just need some time to get used to the hunting thing. And that, since you live where you do, you WILL have to get used to it. So, if they're thinking all that, maybe they feel they are helping you....?

Alright, nemmind, they're total unempathic dolts.
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 08:22 pm
People often love to rub other people's noses in things when they think the person is being squeamish and not "tough" enough, I notice.

nasty, but common.
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Montana
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 08:43 pm
Littlek
Either way, I think they're totally disrespectful to my feelings and there's no excuse for them pushing my buttons in this way. If they think they're gonna change me, they have another thing coming. They have all been gardening since before I was born, yet my garden beats theirs by a long shot, but I don't go around rubbing it in their faces. I honestly don't think they're trying to change my ways and I know as far as my mothers friend is concerned, he was doing it just to tease me thinking it was funny. Why our neighbor insists on telling me about everything her husband kills is beyond me.

Deb
I just can't figure that out. I would never rub anything in anyones faces although everyone around here seems to be awfully jealous of my garden and I never even brag about it. Some people really need to grow up!
0 Replies
 
Misti26
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 08:49 pm
Roger and Snood are right!

There must be something you can do to stop them from telling their horrible stories! Walk away, leave them talking to themselves or something like that.

These neighbors of yours are very ignorant obviously and wouldn't understand your sensitivity.

If they don't understand "I don't want to hear it" then they're not going to understand the why of it.
0 Replies
 
Montana
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 09:00 pm
Misti
You're right. I have to stop trying to figure out why they do this and simply ask them why. Next time this happens, I'm just gonna ask them why they tell me this stuff when they know it hurts me. I'll say it very nicely and I'm quite sure it will shut them up.

Thanks for your support everyone. You guys are awsome for coming here to comfort me and I assure you it helped tremendously to have friends around who understand and are so caring :-D
0 Replies
 
Rae
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 09:01 pm
For the life of me, I cannot remember the name of the movie that is coming to mind.....

A woman goes around and urinates near all the hunting platforms she finds because she knows that the deer will steer clear of the area upon smelling her urine.....

Hold your ground, Montana.
0 Replies
 
Montana
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 10:09 pm
Rae
LOL! I'd love to see that movie, hahaha! Now that's my kind of gal. Thanks Rae. I'm standing firm ;-) My mom still doesn't understand why I take it so seriously. She just doesn't realize the mental images that stay in my mind when these people tell me this stuff. I'm extremely sensative about the issue and she has to learn to respect that fact. We talked about it again earlier and I just told her that if she expects me to respect her feelings then she needs to respect mine as well. She is so afraid that I'm gonna go off on someone and offend them, but she's doesn't seem concerned about how offended I've been. I love my mother to death, but hey, I've got feelings.
0 Replies
 
 

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