What's up with that?

Well, now, that doesn't sound so difficult. Why didn't I think of that.

Actually, I've just never encountered such bizarre inappropriate behavior. I'm just flabbergasted.

Same here dupre. He violated you and this guy is sounding worse by the minute. I can't for the life of me see why his wife would put up with this jerks crap. He goes near my behind it would be the last time. He treats people like crap including his own family and there's no excuse for that.

Well, I just asked Mr. dupre if he felt it would be right under any circumstances to swat Mrs. Bubba's behind.

Of course, he said no.

So, then I told him about Bubba's behavior, and Mr. dupre was all excuses for Bubba.

I aksed Mr. dupre why the rules are different for Bubba, and, well, his answer was sort of weak, all about insecurity and such.

Insecurity or not, Bubba will never learn how to behave properly if people, including myself, don't defend themselves.

Franky, I was not surprised by Mr. dupre's dismissal of the situation.

But, under other circumstances, I know Mr. dupre would have been all possessive and protective. I've seen it before in him.

I think it's because Mr. dupre knows Bubba doesn't really mean anything by it. Bubba is like a big happy puppy. Like when he scared his wife at the barn. He didn't mean to scare her, he just wanted affection and couldn't get it.

I wonder how many times people end up in prison because they just, they just wanted something. The signs are there, but normal-thinking people just can't imagine that their friend is really out there. They don't get it till some severe line is crossed.

This Bubba says things like, like when his son was very little and needed an operation, Bubba threatened--face-to-face--to kill the anesthesiologist if there were any oversights.

Rumor has it that the doctor was a nervous-wreck during the operation.

When Bubba told that story, I told him that threatening to kill people was not a good idea, and probably against the law. That people take death threats seriously, not as a figure of speech.

My late sweetheart was in law enforcement. This type of threatening behavior is NOT acceptable.

I just don't see how he gets away with it, and yet, I am part of the problem by not defending myself better.

BTW, I don't think Bubba has issued any death threats since I spoke up several years ago.

Aggggggggggggggggh.

I see that my earlier post sees me there, stoned. Not quite what I meant...and Rae took it right. Yeah, Rae, I'm there, but who am I kidding, even if I could, to what effect?

I need to reread all this.

Hey, Ossobuco. I knew what you meant.

Collateral damage from living in the Bible Belt.

I'm all confused. (Roger, I was confused before you...much earlier in this thread I was making comments to Montana about the wrong person..)

I can't figure if this guy is just a man whose behavior/viewpoint has never before provoked negative comments from parents or teachers and could be nudged to appreciate the dignity and importance of others... if he is dangerous to wife and child, or just thoughtless and self oriented. I am very aware this is none of my business except for Dupre asking how Dupre should behave. And I see how this impacts Dupre's own life.

I think the clever sentences we were tossing around earlier aren't the thing, they are making fun of him, in a way that isn't really useful.

I agree. Much as I wanted to use "Go to your room," he would actually take that as a compliment. My comments wouldn't work either.

It seems no reaction at times is best, and yet, that can't be the right answer.

I suggested to Mr. dupre that I go up to Mrs. Bubba, tell her that Bubba gave me something at the store that belongs to her, and swat HER behind.

OF COURSE, I would NEVER do that, but I wanted to get Mr. dupre's reaction. It seems that when the same behavior comes from other people, well, then, it's just NOT the right thing to do.

Mr. dupre says I should tell Bubba quietly that my behind is off limits.

I've been fuming for 24 hrs now.

It seems easy enough, yet I refuse to be alone with Bubba for even a moment. Such a comment would be in front of Bubba's peers or worse, his family.

I know I should have said something at the time, but rather than handle it in public and risk handling it awkwardly, I just remained silent.

I would have to leave Mr. dupre to avoid Bubba entirely.

<sigh>

I might not say that quietly.

I'm not really good at the time-delayed response. Which is sometimes to my detriment. Someone swats or pats my behind, everyone in ear shot is going to hear about it right then. First, because I'd probably jump or scream because I was startled. Secondly, because I've been known to swat back, in automatic self-defense. It's happened at country auctions a few times.

My first reaction to a swat on the behind would be to hit whomever did it back.....and hard. I don't take kindly to that kind of behaviour.

I have a male friend that I love dearly ~ as just a friend. We enjoy each others company and always have fun. During a normal 'catch-up' phone call, I mentioned that I'd been at the pool that day to get some sun. He responded with 'great, now I'll be dreaming of you in a bikni'.

I didn't like the comment. My friend had to work for a long time to gain back the ground we lost.

dupre ~ I honestly don't know what to recommend. If I'm reading your posts right, you don't have the backing of Mr. dupre. Which is kinda sad.

Actually, Bubba here sounds kind of impulsively dangerous. There might be some reasons to avoid the real direct confrontations.

Which would be more reason to worry for wife and child, if he was impulsively dangerous. We don't know that though, do we? Or do we?

Rae? That might have been one brave comment from the guy.

Which 'guy' are you referring to, osso?

From Rae's friend that mentioned dreaming of her in a bikini.

Sounds like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place dupre. Bubba is obviously your husbands friend and he doesn't want to get involved, but I'm hearing Beth loud and clear in saying that everyone around would have known what happened since my reflexes have a mind of their own. If the man ever threatened a doctor anywhere where I've lived, he would have been arrested on the spot. This guy is beyond a jerk, he's abusive and should be stopped.


Rae
I don't know girlfriend, I would have taken that as a compliment ;-)

Those darn country auctions, lol!

I guess I am begging to differ, that slugging a person is the best answer for fanny patting. Being loud, perhaps.

Well, maybe I wouldn't hit, but I would voice myself for sure. I might spin around so quickly that I end up smacking the person by accident, but I know I wouldn't deck him, lol!

I confronted him, in front of wife and kids and Mr. dupre.

The conversation traveled around to women standing up to inappropriate behavior with a little class.

Mrs. Bubba started the challenge with, "You mean you can't stand up to these men with some class?"

So I asked her what she would do if Mr. dupre swatted her on the behind. Well, she was all righteous indignation. He would be on the ground and she would discover his intentions when he came to.

Then, she recounted a story when she and Bubba were at a bar and someone swatted her behind. Seems Bubba felled four guys that night, including a bouncer.

Bubba joined in building the story of the lengths he went to to protect his woman.

So, I specified that she would first ask for Bubba's help if available, or secondly take matters into her own hands.

I also made my question clear, several times--which she seemed to forget later!--that this would be Mr. dupre, maybe even his intentions were playful, and giving consideration to their friendship, et cetera.

So then I said to Bubba, "Well, I guess you don't remember swatting my behind at the Tractor Supply store this Sunday."

Oh well, that was a very different situation: I had instigated it, and I even laughed when he did it, and Bubba had no intentions, and it was different than someone fondling Mrs. Bubba at a bar, and so on.

I apologized for any mixed signals I may have sent out, and for not handling it appropriately on the spot, and emphasized that regardless of his intentions, playful or otherwise, that what mattered to me was not what Bubba had in mind, but how I felt about it.

He quickly said it wouldn't happen again.

I apologized for not handling it in a more classy manner, but expressed a desire to address it however awkwardly since it had been on my mind and I thanked him for receiving it like a gentleman.

No voices were raised, some laughter, though, and lots of "good" feelings and praise for other aspects of our friendship. I told him I feel much affection for him, like a a baby brother, and much respect for the two of them and their marriage and did not take his behavior at all as a come-on, just inappropriate.

Anyway, I might not have shown as much class as Mrs. Bubba's decking Mr. dupre and asking him his intentions when he came to, but I do feel good about it.

osso ~ I'm sure my friend didn't mean anything lascivious with his bikini comment, but that doesn't change the fact that I didn't like it.

dupre ~ glad you're feeling better. And thrilled to hear that Bubba actually heard your argument, understood it, and promised that it wouldn't happen again. This is progress!