Another high-brow comment:
"I infer your unmannerly prebubescent reference to unmentionable male anatomy to indicate you are no longer desirous of a female audience. Good-bye."
The trick is to say it with old-fashioned grace, warmth, and tolerance. Not easy, since I want to be as snooty as possible, which would not work at all. The idea is to leave him wanting my attention and willing to modify his topics when I'm around.
He actually spends hours coming up with clever ways of telling a story, so he considers an audience to his nonstop blather a personal right, not a priviledge extended by the listener.
The above comment would be a head-scratcher for him, and might just take up some of his creative free moments by INTRUDING on HIS brain's limited abilities as he tries to unravel my meaning.
There may be some confusion as to why I am posting these comments.
Montana invited me to include a troubling situation I am currently having with a neighbor.
My "high-brow" comments are being offered here for your consideration as to their appropriateness in modifying the behavior of our local bubba with borish manners.
I hope this clears up any misunderstanding.
It seems that Montana has a friend who, I believe, thought my comments were being directed toward her.
Nice to have such an advocate. Wish this person could come to one our barn parties and defend my delicate sensibilites.
Thanks for sharing the story of your neighbor, dupre (I've been dying of curiosity since last week.....).
Afraid I don't have anything to add to your arsenal ~ I'm still thinking though.
Are there children present when he's telling his stories? Because that would set me off completely! (Being a Mom has turned me into a super-hero when the need arises..... :wink: )
I had an aquaintance who use to do that with me.
And he was always so proud of his kill -- and proud of the fact that he is a hunter.
He liked to call me a hypocrite because I use animal products and eat the flesh of animals -- but that I was too chicken to do my own killing.
I wrote an essay about it which was published in several newspapers here in New Jersey.
Among the points I made was:
Hunter is an honorable appelation -- and properly applied -- denoted someone who brought food in for the family or tribe.
An Eskimo hunting whale for food with a harpoon from a kayak; an African tribesman hunting elephant for food with a spear; a native American hunting bison for food with a bow and arrow -- they are all deserving of the honorific "hunter."
Some jackass who hides in the woods with a shotgun or rifle wating for the deadly American deer to wander by so he can put some antlers on the wall of his den ought to be smacked for using hunter or hunting to describe himself or his activity.
Anyone driving around with his chest puffed out in pride while in a pick-up with a deer slung over the fender is an object of humor.
Yes, there are, which is why I am determined to say something. But, they are his children, and I just don't know how to approach it. I can't come right out and put him in his place in front of his own kids. Yet, how can I in good conscience allow his racist comments to stand unrefuted?
I asked Mr. dupre to say something, but I doubt he will.
I should mention this guy is proud of the fact that he has come so far with only an 8th grade education. He finds it difficult to work in a structured environment unless he is running the show, and even then, he does have problems. Hierarchy is something he just can't deal with.
He's not very "well-adjusted," but he thinks he's an amazing success story.
Mostly, he married well. He made sure he married someone with an education and a work ethic; then he knocks education and conventional work environments.
He spends her money on toys he could never have as a kid.
He thinks he's made a contribution to the family, because he seeks out good deals while he's spending her money.
He does have some fine points. They're just buried underneath a lot of bluster.
Depending on how I interpret an event several years ago, I think he did come on to me. I made it clear that I never spend any time with an unescorted male.
One time he came over when Mr. dupre wasn't home, complaining about his wife. My son was a dear, knowing my apprehension about being around males alone, and he silently joined us outside at the table. My son stayed until Bubba left. Then, I got a call from his wife, who was all in a dither.
Whatever. That problem has not surfaced again, thank goodness.
Any thoughts are appreciated.
Mostly avoidance is probably about the best I can do, but if I can change things, I will, so I am open to suggestions.
Frank Apisa, very good point!
Dupre, I'm sure the confusion was all mine. I really misunderstood the context.
Perfectly understandable.
I hesitated bringing up another line of thought, encroaching on Montana's team, but she did invite me and the gang's all here, so I took the plunge.
My bad.
Thanks.
Jeez, dupre! I really don't know what to say!
I've found myself, on more than one occasion, alienating myself from people for telling them I don't appreciate their comments, etc. Good thing I'm a loner.
I feel sorry for this man's children.
If I could tell you one thing though ~ don't leave your own barn party because of him.
Between all of us, we should be able to come up with something for you to use by this weekend.....thinking, thinking, thinking.....
Roger's okay.....don't let him fool ya.
waiting, waiting, waiting . . .
Rae wrote:Thanks for sharing the story of your neighbor, dupre (I've been dying of curiosity since last week.....).
Afraid I don't have anything to add to your arsenal ~ I'm still thinking though.
Are there children present when he's telling his stories? Because that would set me off completely! (Being a Mom has turned me into a super-hero when the need arises..... :wink: )
Yup, Rae would go off on the guy hearing him talk about that stuff in front of the kids. She's my hero ;-)
To quote a character from a Michael Douglas movie who was locked in an insane asylum
"I'll never te-ell."
Frank Apisa wrote:I had an aquaintance who use to do that with me.
And he was always so proud of his kill -- and proud of the fact that he is a hunter.
He liked to call me a hypocrite because I use animal products and eat the flesh of animals -- but that I was too chicken to do my own killing.
I wrote an essay about it which was published in several newspapers here in New Jersey.
Among the points I made was:
Hunter is an honorable appelation -- and properly applied -- denoted someone who brought food in for the family or tribe.
An Eskimo hunting whale for food with a harpoon from a kayak; an African tribesman hunting elephant for food with a spear; a native American hunting bison for food with a bow and arrow -- they are all deserving of the honorific "hunter."
Some jackass who hides in the woods with a shotgun or rifle wating for the deadly American deer to wander by so he can put some antlers on the wall of his den ought to be smacked for using hunter or hunting to describe himself or his activity.
Anyone driving around with his chest puffed out in pride while in a pick-up with a deer slung over the fender is an object of humor.
Oh, how I hear ya Frank. These guys think they are some kind of hero for being able to put a bullet in a defenseless animal when they are actually making fools out of themselves when they brag about it. By listening to them talk, you'd think they saves someones life. Hell, I wouldn't even brag like that if I saved a persons life.
Great response! You could say that to him. That'd put him in his place!
Thanks for the kind reference, Rae. And hey, when Roger is confused, everybody gets confused.
