Manipulating women into liking you

Aaaaah...I think the "trapped in friendship" stuff is a crock of ****.

If you'd have wanted it to happen, it would have.....

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Well yeah, but thats the point kinda. Its because you're already friends that you might not really want it to happen anymore - even if otherwise you so woulda gone for it and it woulda been good.

Like with this one friend of mine here. She makes a lovely friend, she's the second-best of two really good friends I have here, and I'm very lucky to have her. Without either of them, life here would have been a lot more lonely or less pleasant.

That said, she's also the girl who suddenly started kissing me on NYE and with whom I'm extremely close, physically. The kissing now is kinda sometimes-yes, sometimes-no, and I for one would definitely not mind spending the night with her once...

However, its true that there's a fairly good chance that doing that would make it complicated to then shift back to friendship again (for example, it might not be enough anymore for one or the other). I mean, its worked for me before - sleeping with someone the odd time and remaining friends after - but that was kinda also a question of luck.

So you face kindof a dilemma. Sure I'd like to sleep with her, but would I really "want it to happen", considering that?

My reaction was basically to respond to what she did or reacted to but not be all too pro-active about it otherwise. So its just kinda been simmering, and perhaps fizzling out now, as she's getting real close to her lover-arrangement-person. She's being the sensible one about it now (yes that was a direct quote on the other page...), and in a way I'm kinda glad about that ... because I really like her company and I also really like the hugging/cuddling, and would not want that to become kinda ... incriminated or something ... (i live for hugs...) so yeah ... it is probly good if we end up not risking it.

But we so woulda ended up in bed if we hadnt already been friends - and it woulda been good, too. So the "trapped in friendship" thing is there, really...

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Sorry if that didnt come out too coherent I'm a little drunk... ;-)

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Lol!!! Nah, it's coherent.

My point is that, if you had a really strong attraction, you would have jumped, and so would she, and devil take the consequences.

I think the attraction is so so, so neither of you jump.

When it is strong....lovers' leap it is.

So, you don't get as many **** s as you might otherwise, but the overall benefit is there.

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Complicated!? I thought you were Dutch, but you've got that British gift for understatement.

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i don't know, dlowan, i don't think so. there's so many situations when it just so happens. one is in a relationship, other is not, you become friends, the one breaks up, but.... you're friends and you're trapped. you don't want to ruin it, or cross over some boundary... it happens all the time.

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Yeah, I agree with that. My point with my little story is that even though we were "trapped", a lot of good came out of the situation -- more, I think, than if we'd just gone ahead. I mean, who knows, impossible to say, but I think.

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yes, flushd, I knew I wasn't alone on that one.

slappy - that comment about the 60 year old woman was totally uncool, and really does show that even though you are nearing thirty, your basic attitude toward woman is still that of the high school jock or frat boy.

What do you think YOUR ass is going to look like when you're 60?

More importantly, a 60 year old woman has no interest beyond perhaps an aprreciative glance once in a while to an attractive young man, but believe me, it's not filled with lust, just appreciation of the fleeting quality of physical beauty in a young man or woman, and gratefullness that they are no longer that age, because of everything else it entails.

You know what slappy, you actually crossed my mind last night. You and all the others who were at the clubs.

My husband and I went out to nice quiet dinner, and when we came home, one thing led to another. Later on we were reading or watching a movie in the same room.....and suddenly I felt so sorry for anyone who was out there.

The question I asked before...no one has stepped up to the plate on that one.

When do you think someone is getting a little too old for all this, and just begins to look sad and boring?

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Chai Tea wrote:

When do you think someone is getting a little too old for all this, and just begins to look sad and boring?

Did I hear someone call my name?

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poor baby....

you need to find a nice girl....maybe in church.

do you know any girls that like the taste of communion wafers?

Hey Fadda, I got a question about my girlfriend Marie.....she's well......she....I got her pregnant......yeah.....yeah I did....Do you think the pope would give Marie special dispensation to have an abortion Fadda....no?...yeah, I guess he wouldn't.

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By the way, Slappy, a lot of what you said is in a book by Neil Strauss, called The Game, which is supposedly a true story. The part about the back-handed compliments (in the book, they're called "negs") especially reminded me of it.

Once when I had a lot of time to kill, I ended up reading about half of it in Barnes & Noble. Very interesting.

From the review on Amazon.com...

Are you just another AFC ("average frustrated chump") trying to meet an HB ("hot babe")? How would you like to "full-close" with a Penthouse Pet of the Year? The answers, my friend, are in Neil Strauss's entertaining book The Game. Strauss was a self-described chick repellant--complete with large, bumpy nose, small, beady eyes, glasses, balding head, and, worst of all, painful shyness around women. He felt like "half a man." That is, until a book editor asked him to investigate the community of pickup artists. Strauss's life was transformed. He spent two years bedding some fine chiquitas and studying with some of the North America's most suave gents--including the best of them all, the God of the pickup "community," a man named Mystery.

Mystery is an aspiring Toronto magician who charges $2,250 for a weekend pickup workshop. He is not much to look at: a cross between a vampire and a computer geek. But by using high-powered marketing techniques he's turned seduction into an effortless craft--even inventing his own vocabulary. His technique sounds like a car salesman's tip sheet: his main rule is FMAC--find, meet, attract, close. He employs the "three-second rule"--always approach a woman within three seconds of first seeing her in order to avoid getting shy. Other tricks: Intrigue a beautiful woman by pretending to be unaffected by her charm; also, never hit on a woman right away. Start with a disarming, innocent remark, like "Do you think magic spells work?" or "Oh my god, did you see those two girls fighting outside?" And finally, the most important characteristic of the pickup artist--smile.

After two years, Strauss ends up becoming almost as successful as Mystery, but he comes to an important realization. His techniques were actually off-putting to the woman he ended up falling in love with. And they never prepared him for actually having a relationship. After a while, he ran out of one-liners and had to have a real conversation. Still, The Game is a great read that may help some AFCs come out of their shells. --Alex Roslin

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Chai Tea wrote:

poor baby....

you need to find a nice girl....maybe in church.

do you know any girls that like the taste of communion wafers?

Hey Fadda, I got a question about my girlfriend Marie.....she's well......she....I got her pregnant......yeah.....yeah I did....Do you think the pope would give Marie special dispensation to have an abortion Fadda....no?...yeah, I guess he wouldn't.

Ha! I actually met a nice girl recently, who I might or might not be interested in, who goes to church, and is even in the church choir.

I don't think I can be with a girl like her, at least not long-term, since I hate religion and all that god stuff. It would never work. She is nice though. And I am attracted to her. Maybe I'll try to employ some of Slappy's techniques so I can get her in bed.

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I haven't been laid in OVER three months.

If I don't get laid soon i'm gonna go hiking on Brokeback Mountain.

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kicky, don't let that necessarily be a deal breaker...

some church goers don't talk about it much, and when they do, don't try to drag you into into it.

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dagmaraka wrote:

he may be young, but he is very mature for his age.

Yup, I'm rated XXX.

Plus, I'm good with bunnies.

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That is also true. I saw him break one's neck with just one swoop of his hand.

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There we go, Kicky summarized a 12-page thread in one post.

I remember reading about that book, I think I linked to an article by that guy in one of the earlier iterations of this discussion. (Seems like I've been having it with either Craven or Slappy or both for a while...)

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dagmaraka wrote:

That is also true. I saw him break one's neck with just one swoop of his hand.

Yeah some of 'em like it like that...

Chai Tea wrote:

The question I asked before...no one has stepped up to the plate on that one.

When do you think someone is getting a little too old for all this, and just begins to look sad and boring?

I dunno, that seems to be something like the horizon ... the closer you approach it, the further it moves away.

I remember when I was working in this pub, ten years ago or so (so I was ... 24), and the team coordinator, a woman with a long-term bf (or husband?) and kid, was saying how once a year, or something, with the kid with friends, they still did E and just went off together ... and I remember thinking, damn, at that age!! She was, like, 32 or 33...

Now, last year there was this American girl here at my work who I kinda had an eye on - nothing much more, my heart still very much elsewhere, but yeah, definitely cute, charming, witty, bold, hot, interesting, and I'd go clubbing with her anytime, and I'd be proud to be the guy with her, too. Turned out that she'd thought that I was, uhm, really young while I'd been kinda worried that she was way too young -- except, once we got talking, it turned out that not just was I 34, she was ... 37.

But no way she was too old for the bar or club scene, we met up in this pub once, she just drew the men to her like flies I swear. Not amazingly beautiful or anything, just had ... the presence.

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OMG ... that "rated XXX" thing, thats from some dancehall track, or hip-hop perhaps, I can hear it but I dont have a clue what it is, so I typed in <"rated XXX" lyrics> in Google, found this Kool G Rap & DJ Polo track ... Shocked

Quote:

Any girl who steps to it,
Ends up gettin' their stomach pumped like rod stewart,
I do a damn good job,
That's why -
Chicks are on my dick like a human shish kebab

Only nineteen and over permitted,
No matter how much young girls wanna be with it,
You ain't ready for the bed,
You still got a pussy like isaac hayes' head,
Come back in five years,
When ya grow some hairs and when ya started drinkin' beers,

Givin' ya girl back spasms,
Cause g rap has 'em orgasm after orgasm,
Change the sheets? ya must be kiddin',
Ya gotta change the whole box spring,

So if you're still confused when i'm screwin',
Let me explain to you exactly what i'm doin',
Exploring your body like a biologist,
Inventin' new ways just like a scientist,
You're so wild i feel like i'm a zoologist,
Stretchin' your **** more than a gynecologist,

Big girls try to squash me,
But i think with my dick, honey, so come and brainwash me,
So ya betta hold on tight all right,
Cause my dick is a brown stick of dynamite,
A stick, a trick, and it kills her,
I'm probably related to long dong silver,
But it gets gooder and gooder,
Every time i grab a hooka and i put her on my frankfurter,

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dlowan wrote:

I think the attraction is so so, so neither of you jump.

When it is strong....lovers' leap it is.

Hmm I really dunno dlowan.

I mean we're talking just sex here right? Its a different thing if you feel (the possibility) of falling in love, the potential of a real love relationship - yeah, then you're gonna leap and see, or at least I would (but not even then everyone would, just remember Crazielady's thread couple months ago).

But if the attraction is there but its just sexual, not like romantic? And it's a good friend?

OK, so I'm perhaps not the most credible person to be saying this, but is a night or two of great sex really worth risking losing a good friend over, if thats most probly as far as it goes?

Hell, I'm not the right person to ask (plus, I actually believe it should be possible to be friends again afterwards, tho I know other people dont work that way) - but even I would seriously hesitate, no matter how strong the sexual attraction was - if it was an important enough friend. So I suppose more sensible people, at least, are able to shy away from it, no, even if the attraction is strong enough?

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Manipulating women into liking you

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