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Manipulating women into liking you

 
 
Blogg
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 07:45 pm
Re: Manipulating women into liking you
Green Witch wrote:
Blogg wrote:
(Sorry, if this has been brought up, already, I havn't had time to read the whole thread Sad )

@Slappy Doo Hoo

Do you have any basic _steps_ ? Rather than just 'tips and advice' ?

What about a 'what to do first (for the complete beginner/27yo virgin)' article?


Step 1 - Walk up to a girl you are interested in say "Hello, my name is Blogg, what's yours?" Then ask "what kind of work do you do?" or "What do you like to do when you are not working" etc. It's called being social and there is no other way to meet people (male or female).

Really Blogg, it's common sense and you are thinking about it too much.


Thankyou!

But see, that's the problem. Perhaps most people see that as common sense and so when a person asks for the most basic answers, they actually get the 2nd (or 3rd or 4th etc) most basic.

And then they're wondering what they're ment to do with it all.


Okay, after that step, then what?

Is there any reference on such steps? Because introducing myself to women has gotten me nowhere.
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Blogg
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 07:51 pm
Chai Tea wrote:
and if you haven't the time to read the whole thread, you don't have the time it takes to meet someone.


At the moment I don't have an internet connection at home. And so, I pretty much only have 'internet cafe's' to use the net. I don't have much time there.

Anyway, even if I do have little time, I still want to know how to get a woman.
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kickycan
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 07:51 pm
Blogg, if you can't follow what people have said here, you need serious help. Get on an internet dating sight, fill out a profile, and try that. It might be your only chance.

And if you ask me how to fill out an internet profile, I'm going to beat you to death with your own incompetence. Just so you know.
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Chai
 
  0  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 07:53 pm
kickycan wrote:
And if you ask me how to fill out an internet profile, I'm going to beat you to death with your own incompetence. Just so you know.


kicky, you're being to vague, what do you mean by that exactly?
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Green Witch
 
  2  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 07:53 pm
I've got a new idea for you Blogg. You say you have women friends, well you need to come out and ask them why they are not romantically interested in you. Ask them to be honest and ask them what is it about yourself you should change that might make a woman interested in you as boyfriend and not just a friend. We don't know you well enough here to give you a such personal advice, maybe a woman who actually knows you can give you better direction.

I know if a male friend asked me to help him find love I would jump at the chance. All women are Yentas in matters of the heart.
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Blogg
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 07:53 pm
Re: Manipulating women into liking you
@Green Witch

One other thing...

Is there an alternative to that approach?
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Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 07:55 pm
No.
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Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 07:56 pm
Re: Manipulating women into liking you
Blogg wrote:
@Green Witch

One other thing...

Is there an alternative to that approach?


No.
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Chai
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 08:00 pm
GW - I already posted about that girl thing, you know, he already knows how to talk to girls, practice on them.

he's just being a total tool now.

he's heard us.
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Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 08:04 pm
<the wise people of A2K turn their backs on Blogg and wait for him to walk away>
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Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 08:06 pm
Green Witch wrote:
I know if a male friend asked me to help him find love I would jump at the chance. All women are Yentas in matters of the heart.


Bingo.

Like in my original post, let's say you're going clothes shopping. Ask a female friend to come "help you." She'll jump on it, fast. Women really do love playing Ms. Makeover and helping out their poor guy friends.

If you have any female friends, ask them what attracts them to men, and what turns them off. How do they feel you could improve on it?

If you have any guy friends that aren't clueless with women, pick their brain too. Ask them what's worked for them, and what hasn't.
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Blogg
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 08:06 pm
Green Witch wrote:
I've got a new idea for you Blogg. You say you have women friends, well you need to come out and ask them why they are not romantically interested in you. Ask them to be honest and ask them what is it about yourself you should change that might make a woman interested in you as boyfriend and not just a friend. We don't know you well enough here to give you a such personal advice, maybe a woman who actually knows you can give you better direction.


That's not a bad idea ... I'll bring it up with some women, perhaps. Smile

Quote:


I know if a male friend asked me to help him find love I would jump at the chance. All women are Yentas in matters of the heart.




A problem I had as a kid, and in my teens, was that female friends of mine would get boyfriends, and I'd have no idea as to what was so great about them (the other dude). I mean, I'd often wonder "why not me?", and "what the heck is he doing?"


And that, I think, is what has got me started down this track of finding out precicely (or more acurately, 'acurately') what happens after a male and female meet and decide that they will be in a 'boyfriend and girlfiend' type relationship. I've never been in one, and, because of that (I guess), I have no idea as to what goes on in such a relationship, how one develops, what the heck is so different about me, versus other people.

If people have no experience with such things, how can I ever really know anything about it?

(perhaps) All of this leads to a horrable downward spiral... inexperience leads to ignorance on the subject ... leads to more inexperience...

And the older one gets, the harder this trap is to get our of. People who haven't experienced that don't understand, and so, because of that I can sort of see why I can't ever (and in my entire life, never - in person or otherwise) get the answers I want. People are assuming too much.

I'm learning, however, and the more I learn the more I realise how set back I am - which is depressing.

Combine that with me not exactly having the best social skills, and it's little wonder I am where I am. :-(
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Blogg
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 08:09 pm
Green Witch wrote:
<the wise people of A2K turn their backs on Blogg and wait for him to walk away>
Thanks for your support... :<

Somehow being able to socialise - to some extent - with women means that I can get a girlfriend?

So then somethings wrong...
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Blogg
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 08:15 pm
Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:


If you have any guy friends that aren't clueless with women, pick their brain too. Ask them what's worked for them, and what hasn't.


Do you know what I should do?

I should ask every male I know who has had at least 1 girlfiend/wife (I'll probably only limit it to those who have been in that situation for more than a week or two, since my brother for example was with a woman for only two weeks - in his entire life (she thaught he was some kind of 'bad dude'))

Trouble is, if they start going on about "...confidence blah blah blah... humor bla bla bla... don't be 'clingy' bla bla bla...", I'll have to ask them for more info, and if Chai Tea's responses are anything to go by (I hope not), they'll only laugh at me == less hope still....
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Stray Cat
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 08:25 pm
Quote:
if you can't get laid at a wedding, there's something terribly wrong with you


Bill, I have to respectfully disagree with you. (Unless I'm misunderstanding your post.)

There was nothing wrong with my friend. She's a beautiful girl on the outside as well as on the inside (although I'll admit she's a little shy).

My point was about self-esteem. I was basically agreeing with the general premise of this thread about the importance of having confidence in yourself.

If any one of the men at the wedding in my story had a little more self-esteem, they could have asked my friend to dance, and she would have been delighted. Some lucky man could have left the wedding that night with her phone number.

Instead, they didn't even give it a chance with her because they let their insecurities get the better of them.

I can understand that some of them may have been intimidated....but was that her fault?

If someone wants to be successful at dating, they need to be willing to put themselves out there and have faith in themselves. Sure, you might get rejected -- but you might also get a pleasant surprise. How will you know if you don't give it a chance?

To be honest with you, I've been attending a support group lately that deals with relationships. It's been a good experience for me because we have both men and women in the group and we've talked honestly to each about our feelings re: relationships, dating, sex, etc.

I've learned a lot from the men in my group about how they feel. I've come to realize that men and women are not really very different when it comes to relationships and what they desire.

Men and women may have different approachs to romance, but at the end of the day, they want the same things. They want to love and be loved; they want someone who cares about them; they want someone they can laugh with and someone who will comfort them when they feel down. They also want someone who respects them.

This leads me to another point. IMO, the best way to demonstrate self-esteem and confidence is by being comfortable in your own skin. Just having the courage to be yourself. It may sound like a cliche, but it's the truth as I see it. There is just no substitute for being real.

Sozobe's and Chai Tea's posts are right on! They're not trying to give anybody a hard time -- they're just trying to give their honest opinion about how they would react to all these "lines," "strategies," "gimmicks," etc.

They are absolutely right that no woman who is really worth having is going to fall for that stuff. To tell you the truth, it does sound kind of silly and "high school." Any woman who responds to that is probably not too bright. In fact, pie crust should be that flaky. If you are picking her up in a bar, there's a good chance she's had a few drinks!!

I suppose that sort of stuff works if all you want is a one night stand.

But if you want something more, you don't have to be Mr. Heelarious or Mr. I'm-going-to-use-reverse-pyschology-on-you-and-put-you-down or Mr. Look At Me!!

You only have to bring your own unique intelligence, sense of humor, and kindness to the table -- along with the confidence to be yourself. That is what will be most appreciated.

I've tried to squeeze a lot of points in here, so I'm sorry if I've gone on too long! Thanks for reading! :wink:
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Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 08:28 pm
Blogg, all the info you need about not being clingy and why confidence is crucial has already been covered.

You need to take a step back, and not worry about "how to get a girlfriend." It's not a series of interview questions, sometimes it just happens.

You obviously have a severe lack of social skills. You need to get that covered. Read some motivational books. Take a public speaking course. Spend a day at the shopping mall, with the sole purpose of saying "hello" to 30 women, while smiling. Once you're comfortable with that, go have "practice" conversations on women who work in stores. They're paid to be nice to you, and you don't have the intention of picking them up.

And let's say it all again, together now: ONLINE DATING.
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OCCOM BILL
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 09:48 pm
Stray Cat wrote:
Quote:
if you can't get laid at a wedding, there's something terribly wrong with you


Bill, I have to respectfully disagree with you. (Unless I'm misunderstanding your post.)
You certainly did misunderstand me. There's nothing wrong with your friend, from what you've said (accept she may be a little shy.) Were I a single man at that wedding; I'd spot her in a heartbeat and make friends at the first possible opportunity. Historically, weddings have been a veritable smorgasbord for me when single. It seems women must really hate attending them without dates, because the percentage who've been responsive to me is extraordinary. That's what I mean by "if you can't get laid at a wedding, there's something terribly wrong with you. :wink:

I'll elaborate on that a little for the dense-men out there. SMILE and dance with everyone, whether you're any good at it or not. Drag Grandma's and kids out there alike and enjoy yourself! While doing so; take a look around the room at the pretty girls who want to dance. They'll be there; ready, willing and able... and unless you're behaving creepy it's almost automatic. A wedding to a man looking to catch a lady is like a trout-farm to a man looking to catch a fish. It just doesn't get any easier than that. Cool

Stray Cat, you too, are being overly critical of Slappy's approach. All these assumptions that "it must only work on dumb girls" are silly. All humans like to laugh and have a good time; so the charming, funny, confident guy is going to fare better than most, regardless of the intellect-level of his prey. While I do think Slappy exaggerates his methods to make his points online, and probably could fare even better with some tweaking, the fact remains; Slappy's methodology puts him in a position to make connections that the shy guy will never have. Once one overcomes his shyness; his opportunities are limited only by the number of chances he chooses to take. Not so the 27 year old respectful virgin who's afraid to talk to girls.

Bloggs, if you're not retarded; follow Slappy's and my similar advice about ending your hang up by talking to people you're not trying to pick up. Go someplace no one knows you; smile and say hello to dozens, hundreds, thousands of people if that's what it takes to get over your shyness. You'll learn that it hurts you not at all if someone isn't interested in talking to you... and that given enough tries; someone will be. Commit a time and place right now and do it!
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OCCOM BILL
 
  2  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 10:01 pm
Oh, and "one night stand" is an outdated term that means nothing now, if it ever did. Romance happens, sometimes quickly, sometimes not... but it's timing has nothing to do with the quality of your relationship or as a predictor of longevity. My longest relationship to date (7 years) began that way... so what? One night stand in my language; would mean a date that wasn't worth repeating or taking to the bedroom. I neither rush nor drag my feet. I allow romance to happen naturally in its own time, not some artificial timetable made up by some fool who wasn't getting any. Frankly, I find getting the "first time" out of the way with in a new relationship to be a turning point or precursor to where you really start to get to know the person your with.
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OCCOM BILL
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 10:08 pm
I should also mention there's a difference between kids and adult. I'm a 37 year old man and can often tell within minutes of meeting someone whether they're interested in having sex with me. That's not to say it ever happens like a B-movie, but sometimes the chemistry is so clear it may as well be. Younger people tend to put a much higher emphasis waiting than older people do. Heck, if I wasn't trying to get a lady in bed by the third date today; as often as not, she'd probably suspect I was gay.
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Stray Cat
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Mar, 2006 05:48 pm
Yes, Bill, I thought maybe I might have misunderstood what you were saying about the wedding scenario. Sorry about that!

I agree with many of your other points, but disagree with a few of them (for instance, if I went out with a man three times and he didn't try to get me in bed, I don't think I'd assume he's gay. I'd expect some physical intimacy, but I wouldn't necessarily expect him to have sex with me that soon).

Of course, a lot of these things are based on the situation. I think you are basically saying that it depends a lot on the two people involved and how well they are "clicking." I agree with that. Some people might feel comfortable getting intimate fairly early on, others might feel better about waiting a while.

I also agree with you that people like to have a laugh and enjoy themselves. When I was talking about the "strategies" and "lines" mentioned here, I was referring to things like giving a woman back-handed compliments; or going up to her and basically saying, "I'm going to act like I'm your Dad and take charge now."

Sheesh! I mean, give me a break!

Frankly, sometimes these dating guides are gurus are really full of it.

Anyway, thank you for taking the time to respond to my post, Bill. I think you're an intelligent and nice guy. Judging from your avatar, you're also a cutie!

Any woman would be lucky to have you! (hint to Brook) Razz
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