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Manipulating women into liking you

 
 
Reply Thu 2 Mar, 2006 12:49 pm
I wish I knew how to do this. Anyway...

There are a lot of people coming on here asking questions on how to meet women, pick up women, or even how to act in certain situations. Even though it should be simple, unfortunately it's not. Growing up, men are told how to be a gentleman, treat women well, be nice, and when they grow up a bit, find out these things seem to blow up in their face. "Nice guys finish last" is a cliche spoken many times over.

Is it really true? Do jerks really get the attractive women? Men will tell themselves, "well, she's not the type of girl I'd like anyway" to justify the fact she's not attracted to him.

What I've found, is it's not being "nice" that sends women running into the arms of tattoo-boy, and it's not him beating her every night that keeps her around, it's how these guys are SECURE in themselves, and have CONFIDENCE that attract them. So not all hope is lost. You can be nice, and still be attractive to women.

I've gone through it. Been that wimpy, frustrated guy in college who was surrounded by gorgeous women every day, but only as "friends." With the exception of my one cute girlfriend back then, I just got lucky. And I mean that literally. Since then, I've realized there are things you can do to change your interactions with women from purely luck, to stacking the odds better in your favor that you'll go home with a phone number, or better yet a real life, breathing female!

I'm far from a pick-up artist, but I can tell you I've learned a lot through trial and error, and have come a long way from being that guy who had absolutely no clue. This is really my approach I've picked up, and I don't even look at it as methods or tactics. This is really my personality, take it for what it is. Seems like I'm constantly replying to threads on these subjects, so figured I'd write a basic overview of the Slappy psyche.
 
Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  2  
Reply Thu 2 Mar, 2006 12:50 pm
Confidence and being secure

Hate to say it, but if you lack these two things, then the rest of this isn't going to help all that much. Or at least you can't fake being confident. Whatever you have to do to build confidence and get rid of your insecurities, do it. Read books. Not happy with your body? Learn the basics of nutrition and working out, join a gym and improve yourself(actually do this anyway, either way you're going to gain more confidence). You an awful dresser? Ask a fashion savvy friend, or better yet, a FEMALE to go shopping with you. Get a haircut. You can't speak well in front of people? Take a public speaking course. Depressed? Go to the doctor. Whatever it is, get a handle on it. Adopt a "I don't give a rat's ass" attitude when it comes to rejection. What's the worst thing that could happen if you strike up a conversation with a woman? She blows you off. Maybe she just fought with her boyfriend. Maybe she's a suicidal maniac, maybe she hates guys with brown hair wearing red shirts. Who cares. She sure doesn't.

What's the two things women say over and over and over and over(you get the point) when asked what they look for in a man? Confidence, and sense of humor. Oh, and money. Er, I mean, "stability." Fortunately, there are two things here you can change, and the third one? Why do women want a guy with "stability?" That guy has shown that he's a strong individual who's at the head of the pack. You can still change your way for the better where you carry the traits of the stable guy, without the actual bank account. More on that later.

Picture how a confident guy carries himself compared to a guy who hates life. Got a basic snapshot? Walks into a room with a purpose. With friends, he's probably smiling or laughing at something. Got his sh!t together. Even though I hate that bastard, Tom Cruise in Top Gun is a great example of confidence. Follows the woman into the bathroom, tells her another time "I'm coming over so you can make me dinner." BACK TO THIS. In a nutshell, HE is in control of the situation. Take the lead. Instead of "would you like to go out sometime?" say "Hey, Wednesday I'm going to head over to XXX, you should come along. Ok, I'll pick you up at 8."

I've been told multiple times(not word for word every time obviously), "I like how you just don't give a damn," or "I can't figure you out."

The guy that brings flowers on the first date and calls over and over doesn't hear this. Nor does he hear "want to come in?" either.
Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  2  
Reply Thu 2 Mar, 2006 12:50 pm
Sense of humor

If you've already got a good sense of humor, and you're funny, but still no luck with women, then you're probably lacking what's talked about above, or you're using too many wussy tactics(which is later). If your sense of humor sucks, and you're not funny at all, at least this is something you can work on and change.

Main thing is just to keep a light attitude. If you're just getting to know someone, keep it at that. It's not a job interview. Women first want to find out if you're fun to be around before deciding how many children to have with you.

Keep her on her toes. Without being insulting, tease her. "You've got the cutest little overbite when you smile." Sends a mixed signal. You're giving a backhanded compliment, but at the same time making her feel a little insecure. "You have nice nails...those are fake, right?" Keep the "you're beautiful" comments to yourself for now. If she's really attractive, she hears that constantly as a pickup line, and you're just coming across as one of "those guys." Those weak insecure guys women can't stand.

Joke around about what's going on around you. "Look at those two. Definitely looks like a first date, man I feel bad for them. Ever been on a terrible blind date?" Or, "looks like they're interviewing each other...so tell me where you want to be in five years(while smirking). Women love celebrity gossip, make stupid jokes about why you're losing sleep over Brad and Jen's breakup. Like I made a joke about another couple interviewing each other, that's NOT what you want. Stay away from boring subjects like work, family, ect. If she asks you these questions, bust her on it. "What do you do for work" "Oh, I work the drive-thru at Taco Bell, but I really don't want to talk about it. Once women find this out it seems they just want to use me for my money...or free tacos." "I'm a disposable lighter repairman." "I'm a Calvin Klein underwear model...but I want you to know that I'm a person, not just a piece of meat."

Main point is keep things fun and interesting. Be confident and funny without being pompous and TOO goofy.
0 Replies
 
Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  2  
Reply Thu 2 Mar, 2006 12:51 pm
Stereotypical "nice guy"

This is where a lot of debate comes in. Women say, "but I really DO want a nice guy!" Sure you do, except nobody wants an overbearing, possessive, desperate, clingy person attached to their hip 24 hours a day. Unless she's a mute with no teeth, and owns a bar, of course.

What are the things a "nice guy" does?
-Compliment the woman. "You look really good today." "You're beautiful." "You're so intelligent, why don't you have a boyfriend?"
-Brings flowers on the first date.
-Calls constantly.
-Caters to her. "So what do YOU want to do? Where do YOU want to go?"
-Takes her to a nice dinner, even though it's a first date, and you barely know each other.

How often do these things happen to a very attractive, single woman? Constantly. And if you have any good looking female friends, you'll hear them piss and moan about this kind of behavior, or at least they'll admit to not liking it if you ask them.

It's attractive to have some mystery. Let it be known that you're a busy person with a life, and a woman you just met days ago isn't your top priority. You're more interested in just making sure she's worth YOUR time, not whether she'll go to you with a restaurant where you're going to drop $150. The fact is, most of the women you'll meet aren't compatible with you. And even if there's some chemistry up front, after a short time it's gone. It's hard to meet someone you truly match with. So don't waste your time on all the stupid "nice guy" tactics. For one, it's a waste of your time & money, and secondly, you drop any mystery you could possibly have, you're throwing all your cards on the table and saying "I'm here to buy your time and attention!" Once you do that she's thinking, "ok, who's next?"

Examples: Noticed a very attractive girl at a Halloween party. Walk up to her and her friend, and start talking to her friend. Make a joke about her costume. I notice I have the attention of attractive girl, and she laughs at my stupid joke about her friend's costume. There was the hook. I got her number later in the night, but sensed she wasn't that into me. When I first called her, I kept the conversation short and sweet, then just let her go. "Ok, I have something to do, I'll call you later in the week." No mention of going out. Second call, mentioned we should go out sometime, but then got off the phone. Third call, finally asked her out. Few months later, she admitted that at first she wasn't even going to go out with me, but it drove her nuts that I didn't ask her out right away. You do the math here.

Driving back from dinner with a girl I was dating for a fairly short time. She was pretty aloof, and one of those "hard to figure out" types. She said she couldn't stay over, and made up some stupid excuse. This wasn't even really a tactic, as I was legitimitely fed up. I said, "look, I don't need anymore female friends. If I wanted a friend to go out to dinner with, I would have called someone else. Actually, there are other females I could be spending time with right now, but I'm not with them, because I'm physically attracted to you. So I think I'm all set with seeing you anymore." Her jaw dropped, she quickly tried explaining her excuse, and ended up coming back with me that night, and we kept dating.

The typical nice guy in both situations would never have slept with either girl. First girl, he would have asked her out right away, and she would have brushed him off. (By the way, this is something I do when I meet a girl where I can't quite gauge her level of interest. If there's automatic chemistry, I'll ask her out right away, where there's no point to leaving her hanging. But this "method" can help build attraction and mystery, and it's worked. Because I can count numerous times where I've screwed things up by being too foward too fast).

Second girl, nice guy would have said, "ok, good night," then she would have kept using him for free dinner and just being his friend.

Back to flowers & compliments. Is bringing flowers and giving all these compliments going to screw things up 100% of the time? Absolutely not, it obviously depends on the situation and girl. However, NOT bringing flowers isn't going to HURT anything, either. NOT telling her how hot she is right off the bat isn't going to hurt you. If anything it's going to turn her off. Which road would you rather take? Possibly hurting chances, or definitely not hurting chances?

You can still be yourself and the nice guy you are, but attract her for the same reasons the jerks do. Because your confident and secure demeanor present a challenge to her. Women aren't attracted to men based on logic, but on emotion. Kind of why you buy a sports car over a Camry. You KNOW the Camry is more practical, but you just have to have the sports car.
0 Replies
 
Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  2  
Reply Thu 2 Mar, 2006 12:51 pm
"We should just be friends."

The dreaded words every guy hates to hear. Almost as bad as four letter words, such as "stop, quit, don't."

How do you avoid this? Tell her straight out, "let's have sex!" or grab her ass? Usually not that easy. However you do have to come across as someone interested in being more than friends, without being that creepy guy that sleazes all the ladies out. There's a fine line, and you have to flirt with that line.

Flirting: Constantly look for signs of interest from her, and when you get them, push her buttons a little more and more. Is she constantly looking around and past you while talking, or is she focused on what you're saying, and asking you questions? Is she touching you when talking? Anytime she does something you think is flirting, don't be afraid to do it back. Subtlely push things back at her. She touches your arm while talking, touch her back. Make flirtatious jokes. "Yea, you're lucky I had time in my busy schedule to allow me to hang out with you. You'll have to pay me back my making me dinner." It's confident, bold, and if pulled off right, shows you've got a sense of humor. If you're attracting her, you'll know. If not, you move one.

Example: Girl I've hooked up with. When met, had a short conversation, nothing there. Couple other times hung out with other people, nothing there. I never called her. She would call me every couple weeks to see what I was up to. Recently went out with her and a couple of her friends. Noticed she started "warming up" to me a little. Touch to the arm here and there, there, no big deal. She didn't respond much to my subtle advances. Next time we hung out, I started flirting and being really cocky with her, teased her, ect. Next thing we're sharing a bar stool, and she's got her hand on my lower back. That's when I knew I could push even further, and we started talking more and more about sex. Ended up taking her home. She admitted that night when she met me, she couldn't stand me. Instead of acting put off, I just told her she was just acting like the little girl in the playground, walking up to the boys she really liked and punched them. Then I told her how could she not sleep with me, since I'm so awesome, then told her my bill was coming in the mail for my services. Again, confident, sense of humor, and I kept pushing her a little more and more.

When I was in college, I had a friend who was great at this stuff. He had such a laid back, funny personality, never came off abrasive at all. He was always joking around, would have girls laughing, then say things like "we're going to get naked later!" The girl would laugh, because it WAS funny the way he'd say it, but it worked: they would get naked later. Our nickname for him was "the legend." At the time, I figured it was only because of his looks. Looking back, there were a lot of good looking guys I was friends with that didn't hook up with nearly the number of girls he did. Too bad I didn't realize the difference then. He was funny and cocky, and didn't give a damn. A girl he liked would know very soon after meeting him that he wasn't just looking for pals. Unfortunately, I had plenty of female friends.
0 Replies
 
Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  2  
Reply Thu 2 Mar, 2006 12:51 pm
Keeping the attraction there

One mistake a lot of guys do after shortly dating a girl, is make her lose her interest faster than you can blink. Maybe you did the right things that had her feeling drawn to you, but once you realize you like her, you revert to your wussy ways. Start being too needy and clingy. Do this too soon, and good-bye woman. I am the poster child for this type of behavior. I can think of numerous times where I'd meet a girl, go out with her a couple of times, then start telling her within a couple of weeks how much I liked her, and how things were just so great between us. I remember getting dumped by a girl the day after telling her I wanted to take her on a vacation. We weren't boyfriend/girlfriend, and were only dating for a couple of months. Keep up the teasing and joking around. She was attracted to you then, don't go changing into wuss flower boy after a few casual dates. Use your common sense. If you're sleeping together, and there's a real connection, and you both know you want just to see each other, that's one thing. If things are moving at a slower or normal pace, don't rush things. Let her chase you a bit. Don't call every day. Tell her you're busy. Hopefully you really do have a life and you're not lying.
0 Replies
 
Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  3  
Reply Thu 2 Mar, 2006 12:52 pm
How to approach a woman-get a phone number

Ouch. Here's where it gets tough. "How do I approach a woman? WHAT do I say?" There's no magic line you can pull off to attract someone to you. It's not what you say, it's how you say it. Everything I've talked about, confidence, sense of humor, these things all tie into together when approaching a female stranger. One thing that shows strength is immediate action. Don't play the eye-contact game for hours before building up the courage to approach. This shows you're a little shy, and while it may be "cute" to some women, you're better off showing you're a confident secure guy. If you get a smile, or some good eye contact, walk right up. The magic line? "Hello." Say hi. Don't give your name unless she asks for it. Talk about what's going on around you. The music, the type of people there, whatever.

DO NOT open up with "can I buy you a drink?" I don't care what anyone says, it's WEAK. She's heard it a billion times, and you look like every other chump that's asked her before.

If you don't have much time and just want her number, just ask. "Listen, it was really good meeting you, but I've got to get going now. I would like to continue our conversation at some point." Pause a second here to allow her to offer you her phone number. But don't let it get to an uncomfortable silence. You can then jump in, "why don't I give you a call?" or, "do you have email? cool...why don't you write it down." If she tells you she doesn't give out her number, and will take yours, don't give it to her. It's a line women use to softly reject you. Say, "don't worry, I'm only going to call you 20 times tomorrow, I'm not a stalker...why don't you write down your email then?"

If you're hanging out at the same bar or place all night. Don't constantly be breathing down her neck. If conversation starts to lull, go back to your friends, let her get back to hers, ect. But if you sense there's some mutual interest, ask for the number. One thing I'll do as well is get it before the end of the night, so it doesn't seem like a last minute desperate attempt. The second a girl gives me a good sign of interest, I'm getting her number. Beginning of the night, the end, doesn't matter.

If you're having a hard time approaching a woman, just get really drunk. Kidding. Get in the habit of saying hello to strangers. Practice on waitresses, cashiers, ect. Women walking by you at the mall. Say hello, joke around a bit. Say hi to girls at the bar with no intention of starting a conversation. You'll be surprised. Some will want nothing to do with you, and some will smile, say "HI!" right back at you, and focus all their attention on you. It can be easy to start a conversation just by a simple hello. It's a numbers game. In sales, we say you have to hit your "no" quota before getting a "yes." If you talk with 100 customers, you'll close 10. So each customer that said no is just getting you closer to the yes.
Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Mar, 2006 01:11 pm
you have way too much time on your hands :-D

You wrote a boo[email protected]!!!!!
Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  2  
Reply Thu 2 Mar, 2006 01:24 pm
Crazielady420 wrote:
you have way too much time on your hands :-D

You wrote a [email protected]!!!!!


No sh!t, huh? I had a slow day yesterday.
cyphercat
 
  2  
Reply Thu 2 Mar, 2006 01:27 pm
You are a frightening, frightening man.

Why? Because I sense that you are a real bastard, and yet I'm sure I'd go out with you. Brrrr...
0 Replies
 
Lord Ellpus
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Mar, 2006 01:29 pm
Marvellous thread!

I wish this sort of stuff was around when I was wishing to learn about women.
0 Replies
 
Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Mar, 2006 01:35 pm
cyphercat wrote:
yet I'm sure I'd go out with you. Brrrr...


Well that depends how much money you have on you.
0 Replies
 
Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Mar, 2006 01:36 pm
Slow day huh! and that is all you could think of doing??
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Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Mar, 2006 01:40 pm
Crazielady420 wrote:
Slow day huh! and that is all you could think of doing??


No, I thought about butt-sex too.

I really didn't take a lot of time writing it, and didn't edit much. I can see a bunch of sentences I would have written differently, and the "BACK TO THIS" was a self-note I forgot to take out.
0 Replies
 
Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Mar, 2006 01:42 pm
I haven't even read the whole thing yet.. I am sure I prolly have more too say on it...

Butt-sex... haha... I love bringing that up when I am out with a bunch of people, turn to someone and say... so are you an ass virgin... they always answer no.... it's pretty amusing... then again I have a gutter mind (or so I am told)
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Chai
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Mar, 2006 01:45 pm
Lord Ellpus wrote:
Marvellous thread!

I wish this sort of stuff was around when I was wishing to learn about women.



I wish you could have seen my face whilst reading the Slappy Guide to Seducing Women.

I need a Bromo Seltzer
0 Replies
 
Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  2  
Reply Thu 2 Mar, 2006 01:58 pm
Chai,

Do you sleep on your stomach?









Can I?
Chai
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Mar, 2006 02:01 pm
Here we go.....

Seduce and Destroy

http://www.geocities.com/amie_07/TomCruise/magnolia06.jpg
0 Replies
 
Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Mar, 2006 02:02 pm
No seducing.

Just roophies.
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dagmaraka
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Mar, 2006 02:11 pm
whoa.

what were you on, slappy? that is a lot of writing.

haven't read all of it, but it seems to me that your guide is what works for you. if my academic friend here (sitting next to me in a library) tried to pull some of that, he'd be ridiculous. different tools for different workers.
 

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