I think that's my cue.
First, I'll say what I do agree with -- confidence. I think that Slappy and I agree that the most important thing to do to make people like you is to like yourself (for good reason). If you don't, see what you can do about changing the things you don't like.
Now, I'll go into the things I disagree with, and why. (I told you there would be a long version!)
I've gone through it. Been that wimpy, frustrated guy in college who was surrounded by gorgeous women every day, but only as "friends." With the exception of my one cute girlfriend back then, I just got lucky. And I mean that literally. Since then, I've realized there are things you can do to change your interactions with women from purely luck, to stacking the odds better in your favor that you'll go home with a phone number, or better yet a real life, breathing female!
One of the biggest problems I have there is the problem of causation. You take a skinny, insecure, frustrated young guy and he's not getting girls. OK. Then you beef him up, make him more secure, and give him all these lines... WHICH of those aspects caused the change in luck? I'd say the beefing and the security, and then the rest is in spite of
rather than because of the kind of approach/ lines we're talking about.
Even though I hate that bastard, Tom Cruise in Top Gun is a great example of confidence. Follows the woman into the bathroom, tells her another time "I'm coming over so you can make me dinner." BACK TO THIS. In a nutshell, HE is in control of the situation. Take the lead. Instead of "would you like to go out sometime?" say "Hey, Wednesday I'm going to head over to XXX, you should come along. Ok, I'll pick you up at 8."
Absolutely not. Gag me with a spoon. This is where you self-select for the emotionally unstable gals. The ones who never got enough love from their father, or whatever. Women who have a shred of self-respect, themselves, will NOT like this.
I've been told multiple times(not word for word every time obviously), "I like how you just don't give a damn," or "I can't figure you out."
And how do those gals feel about their fathers? [looks over glasses, shrink-style]
Keep her on her toes. Without being insulting, tease her. "You've got the cutest little overbite when you smile." Sends a mixed signal. You're giving a backhanded compliment, but at the same time making her feel a little insecure. "You have nice nails...those are fake, right?" Keep the "you're beautiful" comments to yourself for now. If she's really attractive, she hears that constantly as a pickup line, and you're just coming across as one of "those guys." Those weak insecure guys women can't stand.
Instead, those obnoxious guys that weak insecure women love. If I actually think I look pretty damn good, no WAY would I choose to spend time with a guy who says things like that.
If she asks you these questions, bust her on it. "What do you do for work" "Oh, I work the drive-thru at Taco Bell, but I really don't want to talk about it. Once women find this out it seems they just want to use me for my money...or free tacos." "I'm a disposable lighter repairman." "I'm a Calvin Klein underwear model...but I want you to know that I'm a person, not just a piece of meat."
See, there's a middle ground, dude. You can be silly and funny without being a total boor. You can talk about your job in a goofy way -- and still talk about your actual job. All of that evasion will make a sane, secure women suspicious -- with reason.
What are the things a "nice guy" does?
-Compliment the woman. "You look really good today." "You're beautiful." "You're so intelligent, why don't you have a boyfriend?"
-Brings flowers on the first date.
-Caters to her. "So what do YOU want to do? Where do YOU want to go?"
-Takes her to a nice dinner, even though it's a first date, and you barely know each other.
The only one "wrong" there is "calls constantly", and even then I guess it depends on your definition. Obviously, you don't want to go overboard, but I've had all of those things happen with a guy I liked a lot (married one of 'em).
So don't waste your time on all the stupid "nice guy" tactics. For one, it's a waste of your time & money, and secondly, you drop any mystery you could possibly have, you're throwing all your cards on the table and saying "I'm here to buy your time and attention!" Once you do that she's thinking, "ok, who's next?"
Again, this may be completely true for a certain type. I've said throughout that if you're going for a certain type, this is the way to get her. Just, this type is in addition to the insecure and emotionally unstable stuff, shallow and needy. You really want her?
Second girl, nice guy would have said, "ok, good night," then she would have kept using him for free dinner and just being his friend.
I'm choosing this one randomly, it's mentioned a lot. What's wrong with being friends?
I don't necessarily mean you, because I think you have a lot of female friends, but the theoretical guy we're addressing here. Having a cool friend can be HUGE for the ultimate goal of finding a great girl. That is the single biggest way for partners to meet -- through mutual friends. It might not work out with her
, no, but she might know someone who is just perfect...
Women aren't attracted to men based on logic, but on emotion.
The emotionally unstable ones are. No, I know what you're saying. I think I even agree with that, I just think that the appeal to emotions should be different if you're going for someone more long-term.
Maybe you did the right things that had her feeling drawn to you, but once you realize you like her, you revert to your wussy ways. Start being too needy and clingy. Do this too soon, and good-bye woman.
Depends on so much. My husband and I moved crazy-fast... if his behavior was looked at in a vacuum it'd look like he was being needy and clingy, but it was totally mutual. We still can't believe how fast we went -- fer chrissakes, we hardly knew each other! -- but there ya go. We did.
If he'd held back according to some external code, I dunno what would've happened.
Slappy -- I would love to see you experiment with being more straightforward but still funny. It doesn't have to be either/ or. Think DrewDad or patiodog -- they're funny, but their essential niceness comes through. Yours does too, here, but I think you can showcase it more and get even further than you do now -- and with saner women.