Yeah.
I was re-reading this with the new information in mind and came across this:
nick29 wrote:And Me being used to casual one night stands I slipped into this lifestyle not being able to control my self.
While I hope for the best and would love to be proven wrong, I'm frankly skeptical that he'd be able to control this forever after.
But what on earth to be DONE about it? Unless she really wants to come to America and this is her ticket, I'd say it's best to try to end things before she's wrenched from everything she knows. But he
could finally see the light and become a decent husband. Stranger things have happened.
The cultural aspects involved really make me nervous. It's a whole different ballgame than when I thought they were both American/ British/ Australian.
OK, here's what I'll say for now, pending further info... That if for a variety of reasons splitting up is absolutely not a possibility -- I dunno if that's true or not, but if -- I'd suggest that what you do is not embark on a mission to teach, but a mission to
learn. Listen to
her, don't just appreciate what a good listener she is; ask for
her advice on which movie to go to, don't tell her which ones she should like. For that matter, ask
her what feels good, don't tell her what feels good -- once she is reliably having fun, she'll be much more inclined to make sure you are having fun, too.
(Oof.)
