Nick, sorry you're feeling bad, really. I think a lot of us see in how you choose to phrase things a guy who needs to face reality. (One-night stands require participation from both people involved; "it just happened naturally" is intellectually dishonest.)
So is it all about me not being monogamous? Dont you think my wife also has any role in my instability? Doesnt she need to do anything to better our current relation. I slowly realised how important is to be a truthfull lover. Say I restrict myself this time for ever and be truthfull to her. Do you think that alone would help rebuild our relation ship back to an etrnal and beautifull one?
I say live it up while you're young and if you marry young make sure your spouse fits your style!
It might help. No guarantees that it will ever be "eternal and beautiful", though.
Does she think she's currently in a monogamous relationship?
Phoenix32890 wrote:And that is not fair to your wife. She deserves better.
Ask her to join in :wink:
yes she thinks she is in a monogamous relationship. We never discussed in detail about being that way. But I know she believes that way.
I guess I would request my wife to fit my style. I believe I can change her to my style. First thing I got to shed of her weight. She herself feels guilty about her body. And may be I go out with her for any wild aprties and do everything with her only. All my fantasies would be with her only. I think I should not give room to others and thats where I went wrong. I was being very casual till date and thats what created problems. But I ahve to wait and see if this works out.
Well I personally dont prefer to continue my gay Lifestyle once she si back. And if i ask its going to create a lot of trouble. and i'm sure she wont be comfortable at all. Half the time she is not comfortable with me itself during sex, if I go wild..u know...:-)
Well my first wife was *perfect* for the kind of fun you are talking about! It does no harm to ask her, it's better to be honest here, don't worry if she is chubby.
Go ahead and try, Nick, see what happens. Be honest about what you've done and what you would like to have happen.
Personally, I think it's not likely to be pretty, but at least you'd have some answers.
(Wait to see if what works out?)
By the way, I'm assuming you don't have kids? I'm sure this goes without saying, but be SUPER careful with birth control until this is resolved...
Sounds like she is a wrong fit for you at this stage in your life
I know what this is like too. It's very sad.
Let me see...
You are lying to your wife.
You are lying to your family.
You are lying to yourself.
What's the problem?
Why would anyone want a relationship built on trust and mutual respect?
No Kids yet and yes only after this is resolved.
I'm really doubting this will be resolved any direction other than splitting up, but good about no kids yet.
Nick29 wrote:No Kids yet and yes only after this is resolved.
You've built a very nice large explosive, all set to go off.
I don't think it will be disarmed quietly.
Nick, you say that you and your wife currently don't live together, and that she is to come to be with you.
My suggestion would be to go to where she is - and to speak honestly with her. Tell her the truth about your sexual preferences, and that you will be telling both of your families, as well as taking responsibility with both of your families for the end of the marriage.
It seems awfully unkind to have someone leave their family and support system to go to someone who does not love them and does not want to be with them.
Try thinking about her instead of yourself.
Well I knew my wife. All she says, If I,m happya nd people around are happy she doesn't need anything else in her life. She keeps saying I'm the perfect husband for her. I ask her everytime more than once what she likes what she prefers. She rarely has a very specific choice of ehr own. Till date she never negated me. She is 4 years younger to me and she just listens to me. To be frank I guess I'm more matured than her. Well I admit I did a mistake by not being monogamous after marriage. All I thought was its in the dark and here I'am.
She says you're the perfect husband for her - but she doesn't know anything about you.
