Where to talk about desperation? (dating)

You have insulted some very bright women who have been trying to help you. Some of the women don’t venture into these relashionship threads, so when they do they are honestly trying to help you. Online as in real life, people will be offended when treated in an offensive manner. It’s unrealistic to believe you can remain an attractive personality (mind-body-soul) to others if you continue to lash out irrationally at people just taking some time out of their personal lives to help you.

Perhaps you didn’t realize how offensive you are to my fellow posters? You can still make amends, if you wish....because I really think everyone here has sincerely tried to help. It would be extremely satisfying to many of us if you could use the advice to improve your life and happiness. It’s entirely up to you.

Pardon??? I did not read all after her, I have better things to do, but from what I remember is that she said I am alcoholic, I am coming to my work drunk, I am violent, I have some clinical mental problems... Bright? trying to help me? Hell no. I already stated who I think she is and I am quite certain about it. Moreover I find very hard to connect "bright and trying to help" with 20 000 posts which are reduced to mockery of anonymous people from internet.

I do not believe people like her are here "to sincerely help". Pardon, but that is just rubbish and you can't be serious.

Anyway, let us please close this sad topic once and for all. I am here to discuss. If you have smt. interesting to say, I will listen. If you are nice, I will be nice too. Simple as that.

Hard to believe you’re having a rough time attracting women, you’re so incredibly charming.

well...my charm clearly does not work on all of them

regardless of that I must say this kinda hurt because I am trying to be nice on anyone regardless. (that is, when my sugar level is on normal level ). I understand this was your friend but as I said. I see no reason why would you dislike me. Unless you are same as her.

There are several women here trying to help, you seem to think I am talking about only one. However, the one you are bad-mouthing has tried to help you, I don't know why you can't see that.

No one can help you if you refuse to even entertain the notion that 'women' can help you. Honestly, if anyone, male or female spoke to you the way you are speaking here....would you want to continue to try to help?

One other thing, I don't like or dislike you. I don't know you at all except for the way you treat the other members. So far you have not treated the other people with respect, this is not a value judgement by me...it's simply something I can tell by the way you communicate. You need to decide if you really want advice/help or are you just stopping by to be difficult.

Here's the bottom line for me, my life will not change based on if you like or dislike my advice. I will still have the same husband, children, grandchildren and support system. My fortunes do not hang on your approval or disapproval, therefore any help that I or the others provide is strictly to help YOU. You can listen or not. Many of the members have vast experience dealing with people and problem solving. However, the best advice in the world will not help if you refuse to even consider it and simply get insulted because people make suggestions they hope will help.

I don't have any more time right now, we are having some friends over for dinner and I've got things to do. I wish you good luck.

you know what, there is something weird weird going on. I am living completely normal life, I have my job, hobbies, friends, all is OK except for the fact I have no one to date and suddenly when I come to this forum I am "incapable of normal conversation", "having clinical mental problems", etc. etc. etc. ...

Just no. I don't know what is going on and I don't even want to find it out. I have already wasted too much time and energy on this.

You are on ignore list and anyone else who sees similar "problems" with me too. You are weird and I don't want to be part of that.

"you need to accept you have deep mental problem. We have helped many people before you and we want to help you as well, but first, you need to admit there is something horribly wrong with you".

This sounds to me like some sort of sect?! Something weird is going on and I am starting to be concerned...

The site is called Able2Know, people tend to come here looking for help. There's nothing unusual about it, and both GB and Chai have tried to help. They're both really nice btw, and although you may have got off on the wrong foot they both are trying to help.

Re alcohol, there's a lot of people on A2K who are reformed alcoholics or have had friends/family with an alcohol problem, so it can be a bit of a thorny topic.

If you're using alcohol to cope you have to be careful that it doesn't get out of hand because it easily can. Not for me though, I have a hiatus hernia. If I drink too much I'm violently sick and can't stomach anything for two days, and I can't even think about drinking again for weeks. Probably just as well.

I think you're doing the right thing asking for advice, and you seem to be taking stuff on board. Have you thought about easing back on looking for a lover and just concentrate on getting to know women and being friends. That widens up your circle of female contacts considerably and you may even find your female friends trying to set you up with their friends.

Nothing is as off putting as desperation, and if you come off too keen you can put people off. Ease off a couple of notches and things are more likely to fall into place.

This is actually a good remark. I am Slav and we have some sort of superior genes here . I am serious, I have had 1 litre of vodka, 0.5 litre of mead, 2 beers over less than 24 hours and I feel nothing. No hangover, no headache, no upset stomach, when I look into mirror I see no recently drunk guy but the same mug I have seen on Fri evening. My motoric skill and reflexes are slightly worsened so I avoid situations that might be dangerous (such as traffic) but that is all. But above all all the painful feelings about pretty girls I met last week and I could feel their rejection are nothing but distant memories. And I feel balanced again.

Just sayin .

I understand what you mean by not getting out of hand but I have full time job that I like a lot. By Sunday evening I must be fully sober. Simple as that.




Exactly. That is just what I am doing. I am trying to be nice and friend with as many girls I can (but only those I find worthy of my time, naturally) and I am not going to try anything to anybody. I don't know, everything I try it ends up bad. Simple explanation, something about my behavior is unattractive. Or maybe I am as a whole person. Dunno.




I respect you, and for this reason in the future I will avoid this topic whatsoever. At this point I am simply forced to mention that I am sickened. Dating, romance is all about confidence, positive approach, can do attitude and all I have received was avalanche of accusations and criticisms from people who came from questionable background. In other words, the very opposite of what the goal is and how to live a happy life. But this was also kinda good experience - I have never met such person in real life, which means I was lucky. And I should be grateful for that, life could be much worse...

Thank you for your attention .

Actually, the 2 cakes, chips and pizza I had on Fri evening poisoned my body much more than all that booze . I had diarrhea on Sat evening . Since then I had only clean healthy alcohol and now I am all right again

You're only 30. It will catch up with you.

probably

True story...

hmmm... Two things...

a) Today I had lesson with one dancing teacher... While she was not that-beautiful (I would call passable) she was by far the most charming woman I have ever seen . At first I can say she did like smt. about me, maybe it was just harmless flirt, maybe smt. more, I don't know... Today I had 2 trainings, this was my third, hormones were raging through me like through bull and you just can't dance waltz without letting it know about you (nothing intimate, just in my voice and the way I was tensed)... I must have disgusted her. Damn I feel stupid. I liked her so much. And now I will be appealing to her like a bag of sh*t...


b) which leads me to second thing and that is really depressing - another woman I completely screwed up even chances to get to know her better and I can't even do anything about it. This is the core of the problem, every time I see woman I find pretty, my body takes control over me and no woman wants horny/nervous/insecure guy who clearly have not had woman for a loooong time. I can't blame them, this is completely natural reaction, just like mine. This is the core of my misery, I am Forever Alone because I can't get a girl and I can't get a girl because I am Forever Alone... and not what those nasty alcoholic hags tell to every normal guy who mentions problems in dating...

sux azz.

Otherwise it was a good day. I was working from early morning to late night and had three trainings. I learned a lot. Nice. Tomorrow again.

I feel so stupid right now...A bit sad and disappointed, but so stupid...

on positive note, I keep looking better and better. 2 more months and shirtless it is...

Do not despair, you just haven't met a person for you

After 10 years of search? Yes, I did, many times, they did not... :/

so, what is new!

2 things happened:

a) Today I was fired. Not angry, not sad. Company policy. far more weird things happened there recently...
b) I love a girl. And she does like me back. She has a boyfriend but it does not matter to me. It is one of those feelings when you simply with the best for her.

And now, I unignored you all the haters to show you this:

I drink to forget or sometimes to remember women.

I never drink because of stress. And now I might be under stress as I will be searching for a new job. So I say this: until I receive a new offer, meaning I get letter telling me they are hiring me I am NOT drinking.

See if I can keep my word, haters!

Plus I have another, much better reason: I want to look good in front of that and also other girls . And it seems girls love good looking dancers . Gosh I feel good now