Where to talk about desperation? (dating)

@coluber2001,

coluber2001 wrote:

The only thing I have to say right now is that it somewhat odd to treat depression with a depressant.

That is a normal part of alcoholism.

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@coluber2001,

when I wrote depression what I mean was "I am in a bad bad mood right now". Nothing more and nothing less.

Please, let us not stick too much on petty words.

If there is some (normal) person willing to discuss with me I will be more than happy.

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@maxdancona,

in any case, I would like to kindly ask you to not to respond to my paosts please... It seems you don't like me, well I don't feel bad about it, but I just would be happy if I didn't see under my every post here you mocking something about me.

Please please please, let us split apart in a friendly way. Smile

Thank you very much for consideration Smile

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@Agent1741,

well...thank you Smile

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@Panoramix,

Panoramix wrote:

....
So, here I am getting to second part, drinking: I drink. I drink a lot and I drink regularly(Friday and Saturday evening). What you wrote is true, it does slow down my life progress, but regardless of that, I am not gonna stop.

Two reasons for that:
a) This is by far the most efficient way how to release stress as I described yesterday. Today I am fine! Really!
b) A way to heaven often leads through hell and it is true, one of the best feeling in life is simply doing good job in what I do - I work good, I train hard, I study with focus. At the end of the day I feel good about myself but sometimes even I need some kind of pleasant feeling without having to shed gallons of blood prior to that. And alcohol helps me. I get drunk, open youtube, listen to nice music or play games and feel good about myself, about life, everything. Something similar like spending nice time with partner, but toxic and shameful.

Last year because of training purposes I quit drinking for several months. Eventually, I was so stressed I had burnout syndrome for over three weeks. No, thank you. Alcohol kills me, but at the same time keeps me alive.

The solution is not quit drinking. ...

Nope.

As for the women who aren't interested in you or who don't stay interested in you, they may just be smelling alcohol on your breath and it's turning them off.

If you're getting serious withdrawal symptoms from quitting drinking, then you're an addict.

Please get some help before you kill someone with a car.

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@jespah,

say, what is it that "get some help" sentence? sounds... awful. Almost like talking to some drug addict, paedophile or someone with severe mental issues who desperately needs professional attention. I believe this is just worng impression and people do not mean that.

Anyway, I had absolutely no withdrawal symptoms. Back then I felt no need to drink whatsoever. Later, as the stress gradually increased and I felt physical and psychical exhaustion, I had all kinds of urges. Such as to finally have some good meal! I was on sport diet and could not eat anything other than clean meat, vegetable and virtually no carbs whatsoever. Result was exhaustion.

Anyway, I drink only on weekens. Unless women are some kind of Inspector Rex and can smell week old alcohol, I would not worry too much about that Smile

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I feel like everytime I write here anything, someone reads after me and searches for something to pinpoint and turn into severe personal/mental disorder Smile

If I was 16, took people seriously, I could find enough reasons here to commit suicide Smile

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"search for flaws in you and if you can't find any, THAT is that flaw!"

Simply wow! Very Happy

this deserves some kind of award for Smartest Shortcut Into Deep Depression Very Happy

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I am virtually looking forward to reading what I am going to be next! Very Happy

How about sex offender! Very Happy

Can somebody please make a sex offender out of me? Very Happy

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@Panoramix,

So you don't chat up women on weekends?

BTW feeling the need to drink is a problem. It doesn't matter how many days a week you do the drinking.

Also, if you don't want people to misinterpret what you're writing, kindly try writing more clearly.

One more quick thing: looking at your older posts, you seem to be the sort of person who wants some sort of one size fits all solution, something quick you can slap together to make women interested in you.

Life doesn't work that way. Surprise - women are individuals! One 'fix' won't do it for everyone.

Try being sincere. Kind. Friendly. Attentive. You know, like good people are. Will someone hop into bed with you immediately? Probably not. But you'll have higher chances of someone finding you of interest, someone who'll want to hang around.

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@jespah,

I was kinda waiting for that sex offender, but thank you, anyway Very Happy

I am not sure what you mean... or... I have generally very hard times to find any woman who would like to talk to me... I have not so many friends, but good ones, and we just hang around do our stuff... not many women involved... In work, at gym, there are no opportunities... Advice like "be nice and sincere" is surely good and I can say nothing against it, but my problem in first place is actually finding anyone I can be nice at.

...Things... MIGHT change... I am starting to dance and I am finding myself in a position where I am actually talking, dancing and meeting women! Maybe in a future I will even meet some pretty ones Very Happy

I mean, at our club, there are goddesses, clearly an offspring of Aphrodite, but Noob Noob such as myself who does not even have quality ABS (yet) has absolutely no business with them Very Happy

And about drinking allow me to explain this VERY clearly: Alcohol (or maybe other drugs, dunno, I just do alcohol) is the ONLY known way how to virtually kill this creeping loneliness and frustration. I would be mentally SICK if I did not feel this way, because love, intimacy, sex are things absolutely essential for well being. We people can't live without that, cannot be happy. And that is the end of discussion. As long as I have this creepy burden over my head, I am not quitting drinking.

And today I was dancing, looks like no one minded my breath or whatever Smile

We all had fun Smile

Also there is this thing - it calls hygiene Smile

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@Panoramix,

Panoramix wrote:

in any case, I would like to kindly ask you to not to respond to my paosts please... It seems you don't like me, well I don't feel bad about it, but I just would be happy if I didn't see under my every post here you mocking something about me.

There's an ignore function, it's for people like Max who try to make every thread about them. Use it, you won't regret it.

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@izzythepush,

Thank you, yes I noticed. I think it will be ok, I politely asked, he (or she?) is not responding anymore, so I guess we are all fine here Smile

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I think it could be a good idea to start smt. like pseudo diary here, monito my life and progress in term on relationship matters and see some reasonable feedback. Although our start was rather rough, I believe most users are ok people Smile

Plus I am neither touchy nor insecure any more, so I can take feedback with distance . Smile

Unless I am drunk, in that case I am very hot headed Very Happy

Half of this thread I wrote with bottle of booze in me Very Happy

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@Panoramix,

If he's on ignore his messages are hidden and you have to click on them to see them. even if he does reply you don't have to read them, and it's best not to if he's just trying to upset you.

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Izzy is jumping into bed with an alcoholic incel. How sweet. I guess they have a lot in common.

(For the record, I was trying to be helpful at the start of this thread... it turns out Panoramix and Izzy are just a couple of trolls.).

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I virtually don't understand how men meet women outside dancing classes. If I had not those, there would be virtually no reason for them to speak to me what so ever. I simply don't understand. I absolutely can't make friend of them, I cannot pick them up... Since I am learning to dance, they are forced to talk to and dance with me, because men are insufficient there and if it is not me, for many of them there is no one. So I am in position of "yeah, if you pay me for lesson/dance with me, we can talk", otherwise I am on literal zero with no chance of making any progress...

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At this point, it would be easier for me to sell stocks of Enron than pick up anyone!! I just don't understand.... Is it those years of solitude that made me complete stranger to all women?

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@Panoramix,

Panoramix wrote:

I absolutely can't make friend of them, I cannot pick them up...

You're trying too hard and it makes you look uncomfortable. There's no use to responding to someone who seems more into talking to themselves rather than actually engaging in conversation. It's the grocery melon man, thinking he's just so original but in reality is seen as contrite and insincere.

You mask your genuine personality with alcohol and sarcasm. You put up an invisible barrier to you and dare people to try to cross into seeing the real you.

And when they don't, you reinforce the idea there's something wrong with THEM to not try. There's no sense of friendly banter, just do this for ME or ELSE I'll drink more to console myself. The in-your-face antagonism is quite apparent, even without alcohol to bolster your self worth. You offer nothing but attitude and people just won't bother with it.

If you want to try a different approach just by being "real" instead of an inflated version of yourself, I think you just might be surprised on how many people will engage with you. And then maybe, just maybe it could lead to a date by someone asking YOU out.

1 Reply

@Panoramix,

Yes, solitude is a viscious cycle. Your dating CV is empty, and therefore you don't look good on the market.

You could break that cycle through developing friendships with females, ie befriend women you DON'T necessarily find attractive, but whom you find interesting or funny. Spend time with them, go out with them, drink with them, have fun with them, sleep with them if they want to, even if you don't feel particularly excited at first.

Get rid of your incel outlook, get out of your booze and youtube routine and hang out with people. The cutest are in high demand? Go for the less cute.

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Where to talk about desperation? (dating)

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