Where to talk about desperation? (dating)

thank you all for responses, I will reply later.

Currently I have another depression :

I am trying to be sensitive, amuse woman, show here I am NOT by any means ARROGANT and I am trying to show her AS MUCH RESPECT AS I CAN and this is what I do:

- I wrote one woman I don't want to dance with her eventually because I am ruthless, clumsy and not a good dancer. I see from our conversation she is sensitive woman and I have already upset several of them by my ruthlessnes. I don't want to do it again.

This was her response:

You are terribly impudent, how do you presume I am sensitive, how do you know if I will like it with you or not, I have had enough of you. Conversation is over!!!


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This is beyond ridiculous. This is beyond possibilities of ANY redneck. Donno, when god was making me he must had do some terrible terrible error in my circuits... :/ I don't know how long the current one will last with me but I feel I should bring a bottle of champagne for holding up with me...

I agree with most.

- This is (aside other) exactly the reason why I dance - so I can get to communicate with women a meet them in person, dance with them... Dancers are in high demand and it seems sometimes even rednecks losers like me. So yeah, I am absolutely surrounding myself with women as long as I can.

- I will absolutely not leave booze and youtube I just made some supplies for next weekend
- I will not date girl I don't find attractive. Why should I? It would be pain for both of us.

Hahahahaha!

When I read "it could lead to a date by someone asking YOU out" I tried to imagine the situation and it felt much much less likely than somebody giving me bunch of money out of random! HAHAHAHAHA!!

I am serious.

Anyway, the reason I like to talk to myself instead of women is that it fills me up with fear or anxiety and read the post above to see how it ends up. Simple as that.

- Alcohol: I don't "mask" my personality, I fix it!

As for the rest, I simply don't understand... Alcohol bolstering my self worth?? WHAT?? That's like saying overeating and covering myself in rat's feces makes me pretty. I am SPORTSMAN. How could I think alcohol could have benefits except for "erase memory function"?

Truth is, you never know.

I was once like you in a way. Alone for the long run I mean. And there was this girl who was in love with me but I didn't find her attractive. She was funny and smart and all of that but I wasn't into her and rejected her several times. She kept coming though, until one day she basically trapped me into a position where I couldn't say no anymore, not without pissing off pretty much all my friends... So I said "yes", or perhaps something like "okay fine why not after all".

What followed was some of the best sex I ever had. I was sex-starved, and so was she. She was err... open to anything. I still remember her quite foundly.

Don't judge a book by the cover, is all I'm saying.

I don't think ruthlessness is a quality most potential dates are looking for. You're not joining special forces.

Putting that to one side, and if I was you I would, for good, let's look at the rest of what you said. You said you were a bad dancer, that's not usually a game changer. You could use it to your advantage, it's something a woman could help you with, give her something to work on.

When you told the lady in question that she was too sensitive you said she was too shallow to see beyond the poor dancing and see the real person. No wonder she got pissed off.

6 years ago, I tried it too. I already told you the restul.

Moreover I take it for desperate and opposite of what word dignity stand for. Which is precisely what your story sounds like.

Nothing personal, man. Just sayin . Please do not feel offended .

"When you told the lady in question that she was too sensitive you said she was too shallow to see beyond the poor dancing and see the real person. No wonder she got pissed off."


HAHAHAHAHA!!! And that is EXACTLY it!! I had no idea of that back then and actually now I don't understand it neither. I meant exactly what I said: "I am bad dancer, last time I was leading woman like bag of potato and I never know what to say without annoying someone". Nothing more, nothing less.

No, I am not joining marines. I only had 10 years of gym and male company only. Hahahaha!

I am laughing and crying at the same time!

These dancing lessons are going to be paaainfull social experience! Guess the best I can do is to dance and keep my mouth shut all the time. Hahahaha!

I am sooo much clueless!!

"Yes, solitude is a viscious cycle. Your dating CV is empty, and therefore you don't look good on the market."

Actually, the last girl when I told her I am not good with talking to women, did not assume I am forever alone - she asked me if I am gay Hahaha!

Dignity is not judging a book by the cover, in this case. To see the good one has to offer beyond mere beauty. There's value in that, I think. The worse curse of youth is narrow-mindedness.

No, use your dancing or lack of it to your advantage, give yourself a bit of vulnerability, something they can help with.

You: I have this problem....

Us: Ok, try this, this or this.
You: No.

Us: Ok, try this, this or that.
You: No.

Us: Ok, try this, that or this.
You: No.

Us: Ok, try that, that or this.
You: No.

Us: Ok, try anything.
You: No.

Us: Ok, try nothing.
You: No.

Us: Ok, try something.
You: No.

Us: Ok, try everything.
You: No.

Me: Ok, I give up. Write when you actually want to work on a solution.

So as usual, what did I screw up today:

My new dancing partner was giving me some lessons, since she is quite more skilled than I am. I felt indebted to her so I tried to be nice and amuse her. I made some jokes, offered to buy her some strawberries (she was in a bad mood, some guy cancelled meeting with her, so I wanted to show some empathy...)...


Anyway, at the end she was quick to say goodbye. Easy to see why - she thought I am flirting with her. She was even talking about cancelling several trainings, all of sudden!

I just wrote her a couple of embarrassing messages explaining the situation.

Regardless of that, it feel really nasty knowing, that after 3 months of search of a partner she would rather stop training with me whatsoever than accept the fact I feel attracted to her (which I don't).

Also I am frightened I might lose partner here...that would ruin quite a couple of next days...

So, the way you are communicating with people here....is it the way you're communicating with people IRL?

maybe, if you are poet

To me dating is connected with chemistry and sex and if my chemistry is telling me "this is not what your body desires" I will not argue with it. Moreover I do sports, I am kinda... Chemistry focused person so I am a tiiiny bit more demanding on this here

Hate me because I am pretty!

No, seriously, man, why on earth would I go after someone my body is telling me "I don't want it", my heart "meh" and my mind "I am more interested in birds on the roof that in how she feels right now". Seriously, this is pain for both people.

Hope we are clear here. Simply, not for me.

I understand what you mean...

uuuhm... maybe... You know, it dances they teach us "men are the stronger sex, they need to show confidence and skill" (virtually! My partner today was scolding me because of that!), so when you come there vulnerable.... I don't know man...


Anyway, I will try to find better qualities, but still, thank you very much for your attention and for your advice! I will remember it and maybe it will come handy

can you be more specific??

This is complicated thing, I am sleepy now, so I will reply tomorrow. Meanwhile, thank you for your attention

Impossible to say... I am never talking about intimate stuff with real life people... And yes, I am usually joking and sarcastic, as somebody said

Well, apparantly your style is not going over well here, and is the same reason it's not going over well IRL.

That's for you to look at and analyze, not us.

the heck! I can tell you straight away:

The key to be successful with women is finding your own charizma. Clearly, you will never find it, when you listen to other people's advice, such as "date not pretty ones".

Don't understand wrong, I am grateful for all the attention and advices here!

But if you would like to feel your effort more appreciated, try to ask questions first. A lot of questions. I will gladly answer all of them . Based on that you might want to draw conclusions or what is also possible, I will find answers bt myself.

Look, I will be honest with you: giving advices based on several lines of text is amateurish . Here is example: Go sleep at 11, eat minimum carbs, train 6 days a week TO THE MAX, no junk food, no cigarettes, no sweets... How do you feel about it? Do you know how good advice it is??? It virtually changed my entire life so why don't you follow it precisely??

See?