Why would he say this?

I've been thinking about her as well. I hope we hear from her soon.

fist of all did you ask him why he asked you that question? Im guessing that he has hit a female before maybe not you, maybe his past relationship he just cant remember hmmmm that's called short term memory you should see his spychological reactions and emotions

I hope CL is well, I've kept her in my mind since I first responded to this thread. Frankly I worry for her, physical abuse is not a nice place to be. Hopefully she has left him and is safe.

She responded to a pm this morning. She was sick over the weekend and has the number from George. She's ok, for now.

Yes I am ok, and as I have said before he has nevr physically abused me... he is not a bad person, just has a bad temper...Jessikita he has never hit me nor another girlfriend... maybe someone in his family, honestly not sure.... but not me....

Sorry I haven't been updating everyone, I have been really sick and in bed.... I ma finally back at work today, still not feeling so swell but better then I was...

I hope everybody here knows what is going on though... again he has never hurt me physically... only emotionally and then there was the knife incident. but again no-one hurt physically... just emotionally and mentally....

It could be a lot worse though, he could hit me.. but I am lucky, he doesn't and I wouldn't allow it either.. frankly I don't know why I take his crap sometimes... I guess I just feel as though I need to help him... if I left him it would be like leaving A sad little puppy stranded in the rain...

I told him the other day that I am not scared of him... and we have been talking more.. but he has been saying he wants to commit suicide more and more and it scares me..so I asked him about it and told him I was worried and he said for me not to worry the days he says he wants to kill himself.. he told me to worry the days he doesn't say it...

How is that suppossed to make me feel?? Why does he do that?? Is he that insecure about himself?? Does he need to bring me down all the time... he gets out of works and complains about his day to me and even if i say I am sorry he gets mad at me and tells me not to talk... he doesn't want to listen to me' and he tells our friend that whenever he gets angry I make him angrier because I talk to him and he just wants to be left alone.... well then why does he complain to me and expect me not to say anything.... and god forbid if I do say something then I just ruined his day and everything is my fault!

I.E. yesterday I was home sick and almost went to the hospital the night before(I didn't go because he had to work in the morning and wouldn't drive me.. he said he thought I didn;t need to go that bad because he says I am a hypocaundriac....
the reason I was going to go was because I was having trouble breathing in and out, I kept having really bad pains and I am on a beta blocker for my heart, which I jsut started 2 months ago so I didn't know if I should go or not, I could barely move....)
Anyways I picked him up and all he did was say how much of a good day it had been until his boss said something before he left... no I understand people have bad days and so does he, then he kept complaining all the way home.. so I said "hey it could be worse" and he went on with the poor me, why me thing and I said "there are millions of other people that hate their jobs.. do something about look for another job if you hate yours soo much" and he said "I have already looked, you need a resume for everything" I have been telling him for months to let me help him make a resume and he keeps saying later.....
Is he asking me for help or just trying to make me feel bad for him??

I just can't figure him out!! Erg.. I could just keep going and going and going... but why can't I can't keep going right out the door??

Did you follow up on the info George gave you, Christine?

You need real-life help dealing with this. Emotional abuse is no less harmful than physical. As a point of fact, refusing to take you to hospital could be taken as physical abuse. I know that I see it that way.

I'm glad you've posted. I'm glad you're at work.

Please think only of yourself - he is responsible for his life - you are responsible for yours.

Call the folks George suggested. You're at work, he won't hear you on the phone now.

Sad to say - I don't ever see you leaving him until he attacks you physically. I just pray to God that if he ever does cut lose on you - - you don't become a statistic 6 feet under. He is building up a total loss of control. When he snaps I can only hope you are no where around him. Cause it's not gonna be pretty.

His threat of sucide might just be a form of emotional extortion - in hopes of you always staying with him for fear that he might hurt himself.

You know all the bad things about him. And YES he should have taken you to the hospital. How does it feel to know that you have a heart condition - and could have been dying for all you knew. And you were not important enough for him to see that you got proper treatment. How does that feel to be that insignificant!

Brooke sadly enough, I know you are correct, and I know he will snap and I know if I am there then he might hurt me or worse kill me.. but I can't bring myself to leave because a part of me doesn't want to believe that... I mean why didn't he snap on anyone else?? SO why would it be me??

You need to call the support people, Christine.
Really.

I am just scared

Oh Christine - I wish I had an answer to that. I asked myself that same question a million times - and still do. My abuser was MARRIED before I met him. He never snapped on her. So I do understand the questions in your mind. Just please don't make the mistake of thinkin it can't happen to you.

Please listen to what Ehbeth is telling you. Don't be afraid to call these people. They can quide you so much better than any of us can. If nothing else - they can be a good support base. They can help you to do all of the right things if you do decide to leave - and give you many options you probably haven't even thought of.

It could quite possibly be the best phone call you have ever made in your life. Love yourself enough to make it.

Please.

Crazielady420:

He has snapped.

You saw him snap when he took the knife after his sister.

You saw him snap when he sliced his own hand as a means to denigrate you.

He verbally and emotionally abuses you. He threatens suicide. He constantly complains about his miserable life and you're supposed to sit there and listen without saying a word. When you're sick, he calls you a hypochondriac.

Your level of happiness in this relationship is almost nonexistent.

You can't fix him; he needs to fix himself. I don't see that happening anytime soon. In the meantime, you are in constant danger. We are extremely worried about you.

It's ok to be scared. The people on the other end of that phone already know you are scared and they understand.

Please make that call.

I mean REALLY snap. The above things might suggest that he has snapped. But I don't think she has seen anything yet.

So true, Brooke. The worst is yet to come.

I also don't want to call because I feel like I am betraying him just by talk about him right now... I mean you have only heard my half of the story maybe there is a reason to why he does this.. maybe I did something wrong

Call. They'll help you understand the confusing feelings you're having. You need help sorting out what he's done to the way you're thinking.

Call.

Come on Christine - you know better than that. I know you do. If you were to believe your above statement about "maybe I did something wrong." - thereby his actions are justified. Well, then you are in essence saying it's ok to treat people the way he treats others if they make you angry.

You don't believe that.

And yes his side of the story would be different than yours. His side of the story would be full of justifications and poor pitiful me's. I trust in you and what have written here. I doubt hearing his side of the story is going to change anyones mind that you are in grave danger each day that you stay there.

I know I have seen anything yet because he tells me I haven't seen anything yet and he has gotten pretty bad a few times

<gasp!> Oh Christine, this isn't about what you've done. You've done nothing wrong. You know the worst is yet to come and yet somehow you feel responsible to him and for his behavior. Oh sweetheart, it's not what you're doing that's the problem. He's laying this suicide guilt trip on you and you're swallowing it. Don't let him do this to you any longer.

I know it's a hard step to make. A phone call won't be so hard though. Just call and start to talk. They'll know the questions to ask to help you sort it out. They've heard it all before, too many times before. Call while they can still help you - before it's too late. Please!