Why would he say this?

This strikes me as him being manipulative. If he seriously has problems with depression and suicidal ideation, then he needs to see a therapist. If you leave and he does hurt himself, it is not your fault. He is responsible for his own behavior, including the behavior that is making you want to leave.


A curfew is not the end of the world. Also, how long would it take you to find a room mate? Move back to parents, find a cheaper apt. or a room mate, move back out.

Am I the only one who doesn't just "think" her boyfriend threatening his sister with a f'n knife is a bad sign???

It's not a sign, your boyfriend is f'd in the head. Plus he's suicidal. Not a person you want to spend time with.

Dump his ass and go get yourself some help so you can sort your own issues out too.

Sounds bad, yes, but my take is in the end, if it's gotta be me or you.....guess who's going to win?

Take care of yourself. My parents taught me to never rely on anyone else for your happiness, for money, for opportunities, for anything. The only person you can rely on 100% is yourself.

I don't know where you live and what the rents are but perhaps you could go to these places and check some stuff out.

Rent.com
Apt. Guide

It is not the matter of moving out or anything else, honestly I am scared to how he will react if I say it is over.. I am really scared he will hurt me or someone else....I am sick of feeling like this but too scared to leave...
ALso I love him so much (but I am not sure if I am still "in love" with him but he has such a good side to him and a big part of me can't imagine being without him...
AHH WHAT THE F*CK DO I DO?

If you're scared of what will happen, and maybe you should be...I'd go to someone for help and find out the best way to get out. I can't think of anything specific, but this guy does sound like bad news.

No matter if you love him or not, you can do better than a suicidal knife-wielder.

And don't tell him when you're alone with him.

Yeah, I can picture it now, two killed instead of one, LOL, j/k... sorry I needed to laugh.... Honestly I am scared of his temper, not him. He would not hurt me intentionally! He is a really good person, wiht a good heart, just a bad temper and a short fuse...

CrazieLady--




Bad temper....short fuse....you're afraid of telling him that you're leaving....

"Good" people with "good" hearts have learned how to handle anger. This guy has not.

Get out. He's a danger to himself and others.

Get out. He's a danger to himself and others.

"But I love him," is unacceptable co-dependency -- it's a sickness. You can't justify staying with him no matter how much you try. You can make excuses for NOT leaving -- but they are just excuses. You're afraid of him. That fact is the reason to leave -- it's not a reason to stay.

Sever all ties with this dangerous man, immediately! You don't tell a dangerous man that you're leaving -- you just leave. As soon as you see an opportunity to throw a few clothes in a bag and leave (when he's not around to stop you), YOU LEAVE.

Go to a domestic abuse counselor at a domestic violence crisis center. A domestic abuse counselor will place you into a safe house.

Be sure to warn your parents immediately upon leaving -- let them know this man is a psycho so they can LOCK their doors and call the police as soon as there is any sign of him.

A domestic abuse counselor will help you get a restraining order to keep him away from you and your family.

You should switch jobs so he doesn't know where you work.

A domestic violence counselor can tell you about all the things you ought to do in order to keep yourself safe.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, in addition to the above, I think you have a responsibility to society to get this nut job off the streets.

You witnessed an aggravated assault with a DEADLY WEAPON -- an attempted MURDER. Your boyfriend took a knife and assaulted his 16 year old sister and threatened to kill her -- and could have killed her.

He threatens to kill himself.

HE IS A DANGER to himself and others.

You need to report the attack to the state's attorney or district attorney or prosecuting attorney and seek to have this man immediately and involuntarily committed as a threat to himself and others on a ex parte basis!!!!!!! This man needs to be put away in a mental hospital or behind bars -- ASAP.

5150, call th popo.

You need to tell him when there are others around to help you, if he becomes a problem, call the police, you do not want to end up getting hurt

Violent tempers are nothing to take lightly.

Case in Point:

A girl came into the shelter. She had never been physically abused by her live in boyfriend...but she feared his temper. He was constantly taking his anger out on "objects." He had NO domestic violence record. A friend of hers talked her into at least coming into the shelter to learn about DV.

You can educate.....but you can't make decisions for anyone. She stayed with him. Time went on.

Less than a year later......they argued. They were in the kitchen. He took a butcher knife and cut her across the throat. Not once...but 7 times.

He was sentenced to 27 years for robbing her of 50 to 60 of hers.

If this scares you....it should. This guy has already used a knife to threaten another person.

If you do decide to leave.......do it while he is at work. NEVER do this while you are alone with him.

Thanks everyone... well I went out last night(without him) and did alot of thinking... well I think I may leave him now, not for a week or two but I am slowly going to move my stuff out of the house while he is gone, important stuff to me that he won't notice is gone.... We are supposed to go away this weekend with his family, but I don't want to go (which will get him p*ssed off) so I am gonna try to stay home and take care of some things....

Good call Crazie. I'm so glad that you realize that you need to get out of there. When I read that he attacked his sister with a knife, my heart just dropped. If he goes away for the weekend, this is the perfect time to pack all your stuff and get out of there.
I know it won't be a picnic going back to your parents house, but it's only temporary until you can make other arrangements. You could always share an apartment with other housemates, so you you'll be able to afford to go back on your own.

I would get out of there ASAP before he hurts you.

((((HUGS))))

Thank you, but I am really nervous, I will keep everyone posted

It's pretty easy to find roomates. Check out craigslist.com and roomates.com.

You'll feel a lot better when it's over with.

Actually I already had someone in mind..... we will just say he is an old friend