Why would he say this?

OK, I actually did it!! I gave the notcie yesterday!!! Wow this is all happening so fast.... I am sad yet somehow very excited... it's like starting all over again.... He said that he wants to stay together to make it work, but I already know in my heart that it won't and I think I just want to end it all now before it gets worse... any advice on how to go about doing this? Also our 2 year anniversary is on the 9th :-( so this makes it so much harder and his birthday is on the 12th... :-( even harder now!!

Why would he say this
Sad to say there is no easy way of leaving someone. However, with the violent behavior on his part, I would deffinatly go to an abuse center (what I did and they can help you get a restraining order on him, so if he does try to contact you (which he may) you can have protection. Then I would also check with them and social services for counciling. You see some women who are abused think it's their fault and try to patch things up. BIG MISTAKE!!! As I see it you could possibly be one of them, as you are worried more about the anniversary, his birthday coming up. Are they so important that you are a reason to celebrate and start having your own anniversary,"THE DAY YOUR LIFE CHANGED FOR THE BETTER". It sounds as if he has the same problem my ex has. And if he seeked counciling and if that is true, they give them medication, but because of the reaction they get from the medication, a majority refuse to take their medication. Also, work on you, if you can afford to take some community classes that will help you prepare yourself for the lucky guy who WILL LOVE YOU without the violence. Take cooking classes, sewing classes or even go back to school and prepare yourself for a bigger and brighter things. Take care and there are some good guys out there!

Yes, CL, what Dahlien said ........ Take care of you first, there will always be an anniversary or birthday, no matter what day you decide to leave. Just think, if you were in your own place, you could call your bf and/or have dinner with him for one of these occasions, then go home to your own pad to rejoice that you don't have to put up with any of his junk anymore.

Rejoice in life girl, there's so much to look forward to:)

Crazielady, glad to hear of your update, things are looking up. I still get the impression that you don't think of your boyfriend as abusive but if you two are splitting up anyways, I suppose all is well. One good thing about moving back home - Moms cooking, getting your laundry done, no rent to pay!

This is great news, Issy. It sounds like perhaps you are trying to get situated in a new, secure environment before taking the final step. That makes sense. I'll leave it to experts to advise you on how to take that final step, as I've never been able to figure out how much of a threat he is. The progression so far sounds promising.

Good luck, take care.

You are correct I don't see him as abusive as some of the folks here do.... and as of right now we aren't splitting up completely... he wants to try to work things out but yes I am splitting up with him in terms of not living with him anymore...



Yes I am looking forward to it soooo much

I'm glad to hear you're taking a step away from your current situation, Issy. Sure, it's going to be harder living at home for a while, but keep telling yourself it's temporary, it's a good thing for your future ability to get your own place, and you're a much stronger woman for making this decision than staying in a situation that wasn't bringing you happiness.

I'm going to pm you my phone number. Feel free to call me if things get too restrictive at home and you start to feel triggered again. Just keep telling yourself that you're doing the right thing for *you* for once. It won't be forever. Just imagine how much you'll love being able to finally get a place of your own.

Keep us posted and come here to vent as needed, ok?

You go girl :-D

We broke up.... I made another thread to let everyone know... it;s over

Wow I am sitting here reading back on all of this.... I can't believe I went through all that with him... it has been a little over 3 months now and I haven't spoken to him once... being back home is getting to me a little but it is so much better than being with him right now... I never realized how good it would feel to be free!

{{{{{{{{{Christine}}}}}}}}}}}


You've come a long way, Issy!

whoops

2morrow is my four months single and I can't remember the last time I saw him.

Things have been going so much better now, no more coming home and having him angry... I have been going out with all my friends again!

I think out of the entire 4 months I have missed him once or twice... not him, but the company more or less I think...

But I guess you never realize a bad situation until you are fully disconnected from it...

I will not make this mistake with the next relationship I pursue!

Have a great time tonight, CL. You couldn't go to the last event because of this guy, and look at you now!

CL, I am so proud of you I couldn't begin to tell you! Keep up the good work and keep afirming how great you are and how much more you deserve that what you've had.

Love, Ginny

Shouldn't that be e.g. rather than i.e.?

Just wondering.

Yeah, the writing is on the wall ... so be prepared girl!