I don't know what to do

there is a place for almost everything.

and this ain't it, charlie...

Oh man, sociopath alert.
Doesn't know the difference between rude and truth. Name suits him.

My best friend died on mother's day on 2009. I felt the same way for a long time after. But it does get better.

The odd thing about having someone so important die and leave you to deal with the loss. For a long time, I felt abandoned by her ... almost betrayed by her dying.

And out of the blue, every once and a while walking down the street of NYC and I'm still looking for her as if she's still around. A self delusion that almost as if she's packed up and moved to another neighborhood and that I'm expecting to see her doing chores or shopping or something.

Just the other week when I was walking to the library in midtown, a taxi pulled up to its stop and even if I'm not thinking of my friend that weird and truly unexpected thought of ... hey, she's just arrived in a taxi then a second later I realize that's literally impossible and I'm wondering where that stray unaccountable thought came from.

What I'm trying to say is that the pain of your sister will eventually lessen though I can't say exactly when but you will still remember her even when you're not directly thinking of your sister and Who knows what and when anything will cause you to think of her but you will be reminded of your sister at the oddest times and that's a good thing I suppose.

T2L, I know you've had a lot of grief these last few years and I wish there was a faster cure than time, but that really is the only thing that helps. The memory will always be painful, but it will not be as physically burdensome as it is now. Time seems to help us remember the good things about the person's life and less about their actual death. My only advice is stay busy, do the things your sister would have wanted you to do and keep her in your thoughts as you live for both of you. Godspeed.

When 2 people are so close and 1 dies, I have watched the other person give up. I don't want to be the other person. I hardly ever spoke of my sister on the internet. We were like twins. She was so nice. All I feel is sad,

You might be right. I cry because I couldn't help her and I miss her.

Green Witch
I am sorry for being mean to you.Thank you for your advice. I don't think time will help. My sister, Doris, was so nice and I don't know how to go on without her.It should of been me, not her.

I know it will help.

Wow, you've had a lot of sadness in the last wee while. The only cure is to find the good, the beauty in the everyday.
Please don't say it should've been you... that's not the way things work, and two wrongs never make a right.
I think it's time you took a trip, got away for a while and found out that life does indeed carry on and more so, it thrives. Try not to wallow in your sadness. Remember for every hurt there is happiness waiting to be found. Your friends and family wouldn't want you to feel like this, please try and find something new, something good. You deserve it.

My wife died in 2004, the first year after her death was pretty awful, every little anniversary playing loud in my head. After that it got better, you don't get over it, but you can deal with it.

You've got to focus on the positives, I'm sure you've got plenty in your life.


Chin up, you will get through this.

What do you know fuckwit?

Trying2learn: I'm sorry for all the loss and sadness you've had to endure in the recent past. I found it very difficult when both my father and brother died, to the point that I too, didn't think I would ever be the same.

Both of them fulfilled very different, but equally and very important roles in my life. I missed them both desperately, to the point that I sought grief counselling after both of their deaths. More than anything else, the counselling helped me feel that there was a place I could talk about things without anyone getting impatient with me about not having healed yet or gotten on with my life.
With my brother I had one friend say, when I broke down crying about him after a couple of years, 'Oh wow - I thought you'd be over that by now...' and I just said, 'You know what I've learned from this experience, there are some things I will always be sad about' - (he committed suicide and his was the first death of someone close to me I'd experienced).
With my dad, I had people saying, 'Well, he was in his 70's - he had a good life - we all have to go some time...' and I was just thinking - 'Yes, that's true' but it doesn't make me miss him any less'. My dad was my anchor - when he was gone I felt sort of adrift and didn't know how I would make it without him. My brother was my buddy - I missed his laugh and his presence.

So anyway - what I'm saying is that if you have a place to go where you know it is safe to talk about how much you loved these people and how sad you are that they are gone without people telling you, 'Look - it happens to everyone - get over it' which some people do - it helps alot.

Here's a song that I heard the other day that helped me feel more settled about missing my dad and brother-(even though I got to say goodbye my Dad - I didn't get to say goodbye to my brother).

I hope it gives you hope and helps you. God bless you:

You know nothing about my status, but just make assumptions. You have no sense of humour and take yourself way too seriously, and as a result you're the butt of most jokes.

I'm very happy, I suspect a lot happier than you, and I've never let my children be abused by paedophiles.

Oh just shut up, will you?
You have absolutely no insight into his private life. It's private.
It's none of your business anyway.
As for cheap shots about how a person should be (according to you) adjusting to the death of their partner ... you are way out of line.

The fact that he measures happiness by having a sexual partner says more about him than anything else. He's definitely not comfortable in his own skin.