I don't know what to do

Thank you for your advice. There is something between watching someone die and being told they died. My dad, my sister and my mom. I did not want to watch them die. I was only there for them, NOT for me. Never again

I would give anything to have been there when my husband died. I went home to change clothes and he died. They tell me that is often the way it happens.

I am sorry for your grief. You sound angry at those who left you. Perhaps you are feeling abandoned. Please find people to put their arms around you and let yourself be comforted.

Life is too short to spend time grieving for those who have left before.

I am not angry, just sad.

I know many of you don't like me being on this site. My sister dying was the worst experience of my life, even more than my dad. My sister and I were so close. We were the same weight, height and had the same haircut (not on purpose). I need help? I would give anything to have my sister back.

I wish you all a Merry Christmas. I smile thinking of many of you. Osso, thoh13, CJ, Roberta, Set, Hawk, Lady Dy, Mark, Rap, Stu, Miss Letty, DJ,
Gus, Try, Jespah, Regis, Izzy, Dutchy, Nick, CDK, Tico and so many more. I wish I could list all of you except I am really tired. Night and Merry Christmas.

I'm sorry that I didn't see this until now. I hope you had a pleasant and peaceful holiday.

It's okay and no I didn't have a good holiday. I got the flu and I am no longer speaking to my brother and sister. What they did was unforgivable. I don't like to hold grudges. I can't and won't forgive or forget what they did. My dad and mom would be so disappointed if they knew.

I'm sorry that happened.

You don't need to be sorry. I always liked you. What I want is to be with my sister. I tried and no matter what people say, I want to be with her.

All your emotions are very raw right now, that won't always be the case, there will come a point when you will be able to reconcile.

Trying -

In Oct, you said you went to a Dr. Was that an MD or a counselor? Are you on medication?

Your feelings are not unusual, it's only been since July, right?

You are just "thawing out" now and beginning to feel.

Allow yourself to grieve, but i do hope that you learn to grieve positively.

I am concerned that you are turning inward in your grief. That is not good.

Yes my sister died in July and my mom in Oct. I take vitamins. I have seen a doctor, too many. The day my sister died I woke up in ICU. I was in the hospital for a week. I was released ama. I got home at night and attended my sister's funeral the next morning.
I still have the flu and am tired.

If your most loving relatives are no more then you must be feeling like this because first you will missing the times which you spent with them. But after some time you will be able to forget this types of feeling.

I can understand your problem becuase I also suffered the same problem, just the diffrene is I lost my father.

But I also would like to inform you that like you, your parents also missing their daughter, so if you are depressed like now you are in front of your parents, then your parents also never forget this crush so by this way you also make your parents depressed.
Do you know? when my father died, I always cried, and seeing my crying, my mother could not hold her tears, after that despite I felt so bad but I never cried infront of my mom and always did the things which made my mom happy.

I would like to suggest you to do the same thing always busy your ownself with any work, and do anything which makes your parents happy.
I must say that by this way, you and your parents also get out from this pathetic situation.

Thank you for your input. I won't ever forget. I don't have my parents or my sister. What I have is siblings who only care about money.

It has almost been a year since my sister died. Nothing has changed. I miss her so much and nothing I have tried makes any difference.

You really need to attend grief support groups. There you will find people who will let you tell your story and will listen. And you can hear theirs, too.

You must not try to go through this by yourself. We don't have the knowledge or the strength to do this by ourselves. Get some loving help around you - people who understand.

Thank you except I can't talk about my sister to people I don't know.

Isn't that what you're doing on this thread?

No not really. I write very little about my sister. We were very close and I still can't write or talk about what we talked about during her illness and before she died. Her husband asks me about the talks she and I had. I still can't or won't tell him.

I logged into fb this morning and someone posted this on a closed page dedicated to our classmates who have passed. The song made me think of my sister.

Please tell me where I have written about the person my sister was? I have written how I feel about her loss. I still have a huge hole in my heart and I do wonder if I will feel any different.