How old were you when you had your 1st boyfriend/girlfriend?

Look at what you have on your basic information, for example: "I'm too cool for school"..."Slackers 'R' Us"..."Sittin' on my @ss at Unemployed"... You probably posted that stuff thinking it was funny and would make your friends laugh, right? And it will. But it would present a very negative public image of you to someone who doesn't already know you.

My dad grounded me because I have a boyfriend. It's soo stupid.

And I always thought Jewish was a race. How did the Nazis know if someone was Jewish or not? I never understood that. I asked my teacher but I don't think she explained it.

I responded from a post on the first or second page when I saw nobody else had responded to it -- just getting caught up on the rest.

The two things I think are most important are:

- Your definition of "relationship" and your dad's might be very different. As you can see, there have been a bunch of definitions offered here. If you define to him what you think it means, that might help.

- No parent wants to learn about a major development in their child's life via Facebook! That was likely to get things off on the wrong foot right there.

I think every parent worries as their kids get older about how much they DON'T know, what their kids might be up to. And the idea that those kids are being secretive -- rather than being open with the parent and telling them what's going on in their lives -- is scary. Fear can often lead to anger.

I looked at her computer where she was automatically logged in and there were so many status updates from Jane I had no idea of. So I checked her
custom design - it said "everyone except mom" (I changed that secretly again )

Then, I told him that I think I'm old enough to date Collin, but not the way he thinks, just dating like hanging out, and talking on the phone and going on dates and the Winter Formal (school dance) and that's all and I then I was like, I don't get why thats such a big deal.

We kept talking/arguing and he had some stupid answer for everything I said so I just got up and went to my room and slammed my door and he got mad and he was like, if I keep it up I'll be grounded for 3 weeks instead of 2 and I was soo mad but I just let it go. I'm not talking to him again at all until he gives me back my laptop and cell phone and I'm still gonna date Collin.
It's just not fair.

And if you don't even admit that you want to kiss Collin, then you can't address that part. (Your dad knows that there's more to it, but he doesn't know how MUCH more and assumes the worst.)

Gracie, what's the difference, in your mind, between "dating" Collin and just hanging out with him--like doing homework together, listening to music, getting something to eat, etc.?
And what, in your mind, makes him a "boyfriend' rather than a friend who happens to be a boy?

I'd really like to know how you are using, and defining, those words, so I can have a better understanding of what you are talking about.

How old is Collin? Is he in your grade or ahead of you?

GracieGirl wrote:

...I didn't know bosses and college people check your facebook and stuff. But if you don't want your Facebook public, You could just set it to private, right? My Facebook is super private (because of my dad) and my a2k Facebook is semiprivate.

Yes, employers and colleges DO check Facebook pages. Our school's college counselor keeps reminding students that they would be surprised how much of a FB page is public. Photos, for example. Many a "drunk with friends" photo on FB has kept someone from being accepted to a top college.

Look at what you have on your basic information, for example: "I'm too cool for school"..."Slackers 'R' Us"..."Sittin' on my @ss at Unemployed"... You probably posted that stuff thinking it was funny and would make your friends laugh, right? And it will. But it would present a very negative public image of you to someone who doesn't already know you.

Be sure you clean up your page before you start applying for jobs or colleges, okay?

Hi Gracie!

GracieGirl wrote:

Then, I told him that I think I'm old enough to date Collin, but not the way he thinks, just dating like hanging out, and talking on the phone and going on dates and the Winter Formal (school dance) and that's all and I then I was like, I don't get why thats such a big deal.

But you guys kiss too right?

I know that's deeply uncomfortable, and it's one of the ways that having only one (male) parent kind of sucks. But that one thing kind of got in the way of you guys finding a resolution on this issue, I think.

Because from what you said (unless you left that part out in your retelling!) he has a point. Why does Collin have to be your boyfriend if you're just hanging out and talking and stuff?

I believe you that you're not going to jump in to having sex or anything, but that's kind of the elephant in the room, you know? And if you don't even admit that you want to kiss Collin, then you can't address that part. (Your dad knows that there's more to it, but he doesn't know how MUCH more and assumes the worst.)

GracieGirl wrote:

My dad grounded me because I have a boyfriend. It's soo stupid.

I would advise against thinking about this in terms of stupidity vs. intelligence. Try thinking about it as a division of labor. Your father's job is to protect you. Your job as a teenage daughter is to stand up to your father for what you believe in. If you think your relationship with your boyfriend is worth standing up for, more power to you. If not, your father saved you from being a bitch for breaking up with the young gentleman. Either way, you'll be better off than you would be without this division of labor.