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How old were you when you had your 1st boyfriend/girlfriend?

 
 
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 08:03 pm
@jespah,
jespah wrote:

Hmm. I was first kissed when I was 9. But that was not a boyfriend, per se. I also "dated" in summer camp, which essentially meant you kissed (sometimes more, generally not) and also held hands and spent time together. That was early/mid-teens, 13, 14, that kinda thing.

Had my first real date-date I think when I was 15. Keep in mind I was younger than everyone because of when I'm born, plus I skipped a grade. So 15 meant I was in my junior year in High School. I went to a party with one guy named Tom and left with a different guy, also named Tom. Tom D. (the second one) and I dated all summer; he came to my house and met my folks. He was a sweet guy but not Jewish. My folks kinda liked him, though, despite the fact that he was a bit long-haired; he was going to go to college for engineering, and was a year ahead of me (his sister and I were in class together).

It ended when he went off to college, to Drexel University. He had won a local scholarship and all. I remember hearing about him when he graduated college; he turned around and funded a scholarship for another kid to come after him. Dunno what happened to him but I imagine he is designing bridges somewhere. Smile



You had your first kiss when you were 9?! Laughing
I had my first 'real' kiss with Collin last week at lunch. It lasted about 5 seconds but it was perfect except his lips were chapped.
So, you started dating at 15. That's a year and a half away for me. Too long.

I skipped grades too. So, even though I'm 13 I'm a sophomore and all the kids in my class are 15 and 16 but I hang out with my bestfriend Natalie and her friends and they're 16 and 17. So 'all' my friends are dating.

Haha! I like your Tom story. Smile You're Jewish? Jewish confuses me alittle. Is that a religion or race? Aren't you blonde? I thought all Jewish people were dark haired.
Eva
 
  3  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 08:03 pm
My first crush was in 5th grade. I had my first date when I was 15...a double date with the boy's older brother and his girlfriend. I was a sophomore in high school at the time. But my first real boyfriend happened was when I was 16 and a junior. Actually, it was two boyfriends. Took me most of a year to decide which one I liked better. Meanwhile, I had a lot of fun!

I should explain to Gracie...in those days, it was perfectly acceptable to date more than one person at a time. Until the relationship became "serious" (an explicit agreement between both people that the relationship was now exclusive), it was expected that either person could and would go out with whoever they wanted, with no hard feelings, as long as they didn't rub it in the other person's face. That changed, I think, sometime around the 1980s when AIDS came on the scene.
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 08:04 pm
@ossobuco,
ossobuco wrote:

This is why people used to say to us "stay the way you are".


Huh? Confused
0 Replies
 
Joe Nation
 
  3  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 08:08 pm
I was six.
Her name was Janice Ford.
She wasn't six yet. Her birthday was in the summer. Mine's in April.
She lived two doors down from us on Newman Street.
Carol Holman lived in the three story at the end of our street.
I liked her too.
Carol came to our backdoor one day to complain to my mother that I liked Janice too much. Carol was already six.
~
We really were girlfriends and boyfriend, the three of us walked to school together for six years. We did our homework on each other's porches.

When Janice had her birthday parties at Andover Lake in the summer, I was the only boy invited, supposedly because I was to keep her younger brother, Tommy, company.
Right.
I got in trouble because I leaned out the second story window of my room and wrote :
Quote:
JJ
+
JF

on the wall of our house.
Mrs. Ford thought it was funny, Mr. Ford, a very serious man, told me I was lucky I hadn't fallen out on my head. Janice seemed to like it.

Carol moved away across town when I was in the fifth grade and I used to ride my big Columbia bicycle all the way to Lookout Mountain just to see her for a few minutes then I'd ride back. It was about five miles round trip. If anybody asked, I told them I had gone to see her brother, Richie.

Right.
~~
Hopelessly crazy.
~~
And all this time, I was playing baseball and football and shooting the eyes out of all comers at horseshoes. I hung around with the Dion boys and Buddy and Dennis and Richie/Tommy, along with a bunch of other guys, but if Janice cruised by and said she wanted to talk to me, even in the middle of a game, I was gone, man, gone.
We just walked around and talked.
~~
I know we talked and talked and talked through all those years, but I can't remember the subject of any conversation except one which was about whether you would die if you ate the red berries on the Ford's pricker bushes.
I ate three.
I didn't die.
That was when we were about seven, I guess.
The rest seemed to be mostly me trying to make her laugh by being crazy or funny or both.

I changed schools in seventh grade, suddenly I had no contact with either Carol or Janice and that ....was..... that.
poof.........end of friendships.
~~
I never heard a thing about Carol again but years and years (and years) later, I had come home from somewhere to be at a function honoring my brother the priest and I saw Mr. Ford amongst the guests. I said hello and shook his hand. I asked about Janice.
"Oh, you don't know do you?" he said, "She did well. Graduated UCONN and got her MBA, took a job in London for a few years but got sick and came home."
He looked at me.
"It was a kind of cancer of the blood and she didn't last long. It will be nine years in a couple of weeks."
"I am so sorry." I said, "She was one of the best friends I ever had."
"Well, she always thought you were something special, but I knew you were too crazy for her to end up with."

Yeah, I thought, that would have been crazy.
Crazy as walking away from your buddies in the middle of a ballgame or eating berries off your pricker bushes, old man.
~~
Joe(Love is supposed to be a little crazy)Nation
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 08:21 pm
@Ragman,
Ragman wrote:

The way I see this is that people's personal experiences here with all the different age ranges is at best interesting and at worst misleading.

I started really dating when I got my license at 16.5. Before that I had crushes or romantic interests. I kissed girls at boy-girl parties at age 14 but no one special.

At around age 15.5 I had what I called a real g/f when she visited the pond where there was public swimming near me. I used to go see her by walking to her house (5 miles away)..or bTiking there. I used to meet her at the movies and I'd pay for her ticket. I had a p/t job so I could do that. If we wanted to go to the ocean, I'd meet her there and we'd get ice cream and hang out.

So, my answer is that dating for me started at 15.5 yrs. I almost never informed my parents because it was just too complicated and they were dealing with my mom's terminal illness. I didn't want to make them focus on anthing else. My bothers and sisters were allowed to have a steady b/f or g/f at age 16 and age 18.

However, whatever your dad has set out for rules should be followed. He might or might not have a double-standard but I think it's important you have harmony there. When you look back say at age 18, I think you'll be happy about it later on. Amazing how a few years changes your perspective.

I don't mean to sound either old-fashioned or being paternal. I think you are probably more grown up than most 16 -18 yr olds..but it's the 'other' person that could be at question.



I didn't 'inform' my dad that I was dating either because I knew he'd freak. He found out last night. On my Facebook page I put 'in a relationship' and all my friends were commenting on it and my dad saw it (we're friends on Facebook) and he got mad for no reason and now I'm grounded. Can't go anywhere for 2 wks. I'm not getting my allowance and he took my cell and laptop. Does that found fair? Sad

I follow my dads rules but not this time because he let my brother date at 13, so it's totally unfair that I'm 13 1/2 and I can't.

GracieGirl
 
  1  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 08:22 pm
@ossobuco,
Open a channel? Huh?
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  5  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 08:24 pm
@GracieGirl,
It's entirely possible that your dad was freaked out by the FB term "in a relationship." To adults, that makes it sound more serious than it probably is. Explain to him what it means to you. Tell him what "dating" means to you. It may not be what he is thinking.
Ragman
 
  3  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 08:51 pm
@GracieGirl,
He may have felt that you betrayed his trust when you announced that you're in a relationship on FB but not a word to him. I'd be pissed, too. You know he checks everywhere so why'd you post it there unless you were daring him to find it?

I know it's hard to grasp why he's so strict with you, but it's just as hard to grasp for him that you'd entrust that info to FB world BEFORE him - even though you suspected he'd freak. Somewhere some how you and he have to get together and make sure both of you can believe in one another's judgement. When he comes around to listening and trusting you, it will be a lot better but it'll take time.

In the meanhile, you have to show him again that you can be trusted. Whatever you do, don't sneak behind his back. For a bit longer you need to follow his rules - even if they seem 'wrong' for you. Yes, they and he may seem wrong and arbitrary, but you have to trust his judgement and then after a bit he will let up. It just will seem like forever until then. As tough as it seems, you need to respect his authority and his best judgement.

Nope, it's not fun and possibly he could be wrong; however, the act of having your friend over dinner might defuse some of the problem by allowing your dad to get to know your friend and sense whether or not he can trusted..a bit.

Best of luck to you guys.
Ticomaya
 
  1  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 08:51 pm
@GracieGirl,
GracieGirl wrote:
Well, that's still dating Roberta. He was still your boyfriend. You talked on the phone and texted and stuff, right?

Laughing
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 08:51 pm
@CalamityJane,
CalamityJane wrote:

I had a boyfriend around 14/15 - puppy love, nothing too serious. My first real boyfriend, a more serious relationship, came along when I was 17.

Gracie, I would not approve of dating at 13 either, not because you can't handle it, but because of the boys intentions. You want to have someone from the opposite sex where you can hang out with him, kiss him, talk to him, text him, and that's about it. Unfortunately, boys at that age have raging hormones and a kiss is seldom enough for them and it will lead to other things you don't want and may be pressured into.

I also got news for you - boys don't like to text endlessly or carry on a conversation like your girlfriends do, unless you talk sports Wink

Jane has a boyfriend now , but she's 16 years old - they were friends first
and they're still best friends which is kind of nice. It also helps that he's a good boy with great manners who is very considerate towards Jane.


But, my boyfriend isn't like that. We have fun just hanging out and stuff and he's sweet to me and he never asks me to do stuff I don't want. And even if he did, I wouldnt do it. I don't let people boss me around, especially guys. I do what I want and if I dont wanna do it then I don't do it. I wouldnt let Collin pressure me into stuff. Dating isn't a big deal.
Ragman
 
  5  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 08:55 pm
@GracieGirl,
Right NOW at 13.5 yrs dating is not a big deal but you have to trust us that will change. You may deal with it now as it's no big deal, but this is not just about how you deal with this. You'll have a partner with their own way of looking at things.

I bet you can't imagine being jealous either, right? It more than likely it'll happen. And when those feelings (or others) occur, you might find yourself being surprised how much deeper you'll feel and how vastly differently.
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 09:06 pm
@Sturgis,
Haha! "he talked to me and played with some cheap plastic toy I had, so I knew we must be dating." Haha!! Laughing Laughing

I didn't know you were gay, Sturgis. That's was a awesome story. Smile
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  2  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 09:19 pm
Nineteen, an' that's all i'm gonna tell ya . . .
0 Replies
 
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 09:21 pm
@Eva,
Eva wrote:

My first crush was in 5th grade. I had my first date when I was 15...a double date with the boy's older brother and his girlfriend. I was a sophomore in high school at the time. But my first real boyfriend happened was when I was 16 and a junior. Actually, it was two boyfriends. Took me most of a year to decide which one I liked better. Meanwhile, I had a lot of fun!

I should explain to Gracie...in those days, it was perfectly acceptable to date more than one person at a time. Until the relationship became "serious" (an explicit agreement between both people that the relationship was now exclusive), it was expected that either person could and would go out with whoever they wanted, with no hard feelings, as long as they didn't rub it in the other person's face. That changed, I think, sometime around the 1980s when AIDS came on the scene.


Two boyfriends?! Haha! Oh Noo! That's soo not cool now. Haha! It sounds like fun though. I want 2 boyfriends! Haha! Laughing
0 Replies
 
MMarciano
 
  1  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 09:28 pm
@GracieGirl,
I was a late bloomer. I started dating when I was 16. Morgan is the only person I ever fell in love with and I’ve never been happier.
aidan
 
  3  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 10:22 pm
I had lots of crushes first - I liked Frank E. when we both were five. I can STILL see his beautiful dark blue eyes - he had the most incredible long eye lashes.
Then I had a crush on Curtis R. He had green eyes and dirty blond hair. Then I had a big crush on Scott O. He had big brown eyes and he was tall and thin. He's the first person I kissed. We were twelve. But it was a one-off sort of thing - we'd all been sledding and his sister and my sisters knew we liked each other so they dared him to kiss me and he did.
But he moved away soon after that - to California I think, if I remember correctly. Hey - maybe I should look him up on facebook!
Then I had a big crush on Tony M. He was Italian with black curly hair and really dark eyes. He had a little mustache from the time we were twelve or thirteen. He was very quiet and shy though, so I just sort of admired him from afar.
I wasn't allowed to go out on a date until I was sixteen. My first date was with a boy named Michael. We went to the Christmas dance. He was alright, but I was pretty much in love by then with who I consider to be my first real boyfriend who was named Larry. He had red hair and blue eyes. Problem was, he was 23 and I was 16.
My parents knew him, he was the graduate assistant to a friend of theirs who was a professor at Rutgers. We met at a picnic at Mr. Glenn's house - my parents were there.
They really liked him as he was responsible and smart and everything, but thought he was too old, so I wasn't allowed to go anywhere alone with him.
So I 'dated' other boys my age - but they weren't my 'boyfriend'.
Larry and I were allowed to call each other and we did - when he got a job at the University of Maryland, we wrote each other and when I turned 18, I was allowed to go out with him.
He wanted to get married - I wasn't ready - too young and didn't want to transfer universities - so that was that.

I think 13 is too young for a 'boyfriend'. A friend who is a boy is fine - but yeah - I agree with your dad. If you guys want to go out with a group of friends , that'd be okay, but no, I wouldn't really want my daughter going out alone with a boy at 13.

And the whole cell phone thing is another issue. I didn't let my daughter have a cell phone until she was 16. If someone wanted to call her, they could call her on the home phone. I wanted to know who was calling her. I don't think that's unreasonable- for a parent to know who is in their child's life. I think it's necessary and helps keep children safe.
CalamityJane
 
  3  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 10:26 pm
@GracieGirl,
Gracie, how old is Collin?
You are on average one or two years younger than your classmates, so for them dating is okay. If your Dad feels you are too young to date, then you have to obey his wishes, I am sorry. I am definitely on his side here.
CalamityJane
 
  4  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 10:27 pm
@Ticomaya,
Ticomaya wrote:

GracieGirl wrote:
Well, that's still dating Roberta. He was still your boyfriend. You talked on the phone and texted and stuff, right?

Laughing


I was laughing too! I can see Roberta texting her boyfriends.... Laughing
mismi
 
  2  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 10:43 pm
@GracieGirl,
4th grade. I "went" with a guy. It was no big deal. As a matter of fact - back in the day, we had leather bracelets with our name on them. We would trade bracelets. He would wear mine and I would wear his. We NEVER talked. Smile My mom found out and had a caniption. I think that is not the right way to spell that word....

Anyway - first real boyfriend without mom stroking out was 10th grade. Homecoming - and she did meet him - so did dad. Dad wouldn't let me go out with them until he met them, and gave them the evil eye.
Roberta
 
  3  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 11:19 pm
@GracieGirl,
GracieGirl wrote:

Roberta wrote:

Gracie, Mostly my boyfriend and I were together at parties. We didn't do much in the way of dating (going someplace together).

I said that my father was a lot less thrilled than my mother. You're dealing with a father--the male of the species. I suspect that he's reluctant to let you date because he remembers what he was like when he was your age--and what he wanted from a girl. He's feeling protective of you.


Well, that's still dating Roberta. He was still your boyfriend. You talked on the phone and texted and stuff, right?


Hey, are most moms cooler about dating or do they think it's a big deal too? I don't get the protective part either. I mean, I'd understand if I had a sucky boyfriend and my dad was worried and protective but thats not how it is. Collin's sweet and awesome and perfect. I like being his girlfriend and dads ruining it.


ROFLMAO, Gracie. Texting? When I was 13 there were no wireless phones, let alone mobile phones. There were no personal computers. There were telephones. Period. He and I didn't talk on the phone much. We saw each other every day in class.

I can't tell you how all mothers react. I only know that mine was thrilled. All she wanted was for me to get married. I guess she figured I was starting off on the right foot.

I don't think that your boyfriend not being sucky is the issue. He's a guy, and you're a girl, and your father feels protective. I think it's natural.
 

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