79
   

How old were you when you had your 1st boyfriend/girlfriend?

 
 
FOUND SOUL
 
  2  
Tue 13 Dec, 2011 03:47 am
@GracieGirl,
Quote:
Statutory rape. I know what that is but I never understood hat. How could something be rape if we both wanna do it? Thats stupid and it doesnt make any sense.


Gracie, Cool this is why I bought it up to you... It's real, it exists maybe your Father is also protecting Colin for "future" even one of your girlfriends you think is a friend , could "dob" if that occured out of jealousy, if you did end up, having sex.

It may be stupid but you are not deemed as an Adult at 13. It's deemed he manipulated you, talked you into it, said " I Love You" to score, win.... and that would be the take, trust me, their reasoning..

You also scared me ..." if we both wanna do it"... scaring me:)
0 Replies
 
Thomas
 
  1  
Tue 13 Dec, 2011 09:01 am
@GracieGirl,
GracieGirl wrote:
Statutory rape. I know what that is but I never understood hat. How could something be rape if we both wanna do it?

Because rape is sexual intercourse without consent, and minors are legally unable to give consent.

GracieGirl wrote:
Thats stupid and it doesnt make any sense.

The law doesn't always make sense, especially around sex. In the state of New York for example, until August 2010, minors could be convicted for prostitution even though they were legally unable to consent to sex. (Defense lawyers are currently battling the courts to erase the criminal records the victims ran up before the age of consent.) But fair or not, nonsense or not, the law can hurt you, so you better know what it says.
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Tue 13 Dec, 2011 09:15 am
I have a cousin who has to register as a rapist for the rest of his life.
he was 18 his girl friend 16

her family hated him because he was black. These two dated for a YEAR. her parents got him as a rapist on the statutory minor crap.


i HATE that law in cases where it leaves SO MUCH wide open. It isnt fair.
0 Replies
 
Thomas
 
  2  
Tue 13 Dec, 2011 09:25 am
@GracieGirl,
GracieGirl wrote:
Thanks Thomas, but I think that you think that just because my dad's a lawyer he acts like a lawyer with us and that's not how it is.

I think that defiance is a last resort that should only be used when all other options have been tried and failed. Since logical arguments are an one option, and since I don't know much about your father other than that he's a lawyer, they seem like an obvious thing to try.

There's another reason I recommend arguments: One underlying problem with your father seems to be that he thinks you're immature. Getting mad and saying "you're just not fair" confirms him in this prejudice, whereas reasoning signals to him that you are maturing. I cannot promise that he'll be quick to respond to this signal, but I'm pretty sure he will notice.

GracieGirl wrote:
It's like, he's a lawyer and stuff at work but at home he's just my dad. All that persuasion and 'developing a strong argument' and 'embarrassing him about his discrimination' doesn't work. Our house isn't a courtroom. Laughing

If he's just your dad, how about the mutual-trust argument? "Dad, you found out about Collin and me because you're my friend on Facebook. This is not something that goes without saying. Lots of teenagers do not friend their parents on Facebook. I did, because I trust you and I have nothing to hide from you. But if you come down on me like you did in the case of Collin, you punish me for being open to you. That affects my trust in you. And as much as I want to, I cannot open up to you in the future if you punish me for doing so. But if I start keeping more things in my life secret, you may miss out on situations where, unlike with Collin, I do need your protection. You don't want that, I don't want that, so please reconsider your heavy-handed approach."

As with other arguments, this may not work. But fair or not, he has more power than you. You better take whatever chance you have to change his mind.
0 Replies
 
Thomas
 
  1  
Tue 13 Dec, 2011 10:21 am
@FOUND SOUL,
FOUND SOUL wrote:
Do you ever compromise? Are you, have you suggested Collin come over?Smile

Gracie already answered that:

Gracie wrote:
Im not sure if my dad wants to get to know Collin. I asked him about Collin coming over for dinner and he said no.

http://able2know.org/topic/181104-14#post-4821526
CalamityJane
 
  3  
Tue 13 Dec, 2011 10:33 am
I am so glad that my daughter is 16 already. I've gone through this utter defiance of knowing everything and knowing it better too! My reward: my kid told me just recently that I was right! Smile

One word of advice, Gracie: be honest and open about things. The minute you lose your father's trust, he'll be even more strict with you. I always stressed that with my daughter and she's been fairly honest with me, sometimes time delayed Laughing but it did give us the opportunity to talk about the issues at hand. Communication is really the key to everything: talk to your father, tell him what's going on with you, ask him for advice and ask him if you at least could go to the movies with a boy - which means your father dropping you off and picking you up right a way. Pick a boy that is your age, even if it's just a friend. If you show your father that you can be trusted he'll give you more freedom, probably not now but in the future when it becomes even more important to you.

However, having him agree to dating an almost 16 year old, will be out of the question. You are asking too much too soon, it will fail. As I said, start small with a boy your age and a movie. That's what Jane did at 14 - I drove them both to the movies, picked them up again and drove the boy home.
0 Replies
 
FOUND SOUL
 
  1  
Tue 13 Dec, 2011 02:00 pm
@Thomas,
Smile Thanks Thomas, how did I miss that?

Bummer...It was worth a shot..
0 Replies
 
laviniarain
 
  1  
Fri 16 Dec, 2011 09:45 am
my first boyfriend is when im 16 yrs old but its not serious relationship because i only meet him in texting i think its just flirting.
0 Replies
 
shay15
 
  1  
Fri 23 Dec, 2011 07:44 pm
@GracieGirl,
15 and yes my mom was really cool about it she loved him!
0 Replies
 
softballstar 48
 
  -1  
Sat 7 Jan, 2012 08:45 am
@GracieGirl,
well i am 11 and i have my first boyfriend and my mom was fine with it so ya
so i would say 5th or 6th grade
BillRM
 
  0  
Sat 7 Jan, 2012 10:31 am
@softballstar 48,
Quote:
well i am 11 and i have my first boyfriend and my mom was fine with it so ya
so i would say 5th or 6th grade


11? are you not told on sign up that you should be at least 13?
softballstar 48
 
  0  
Sat 7 Jan, 2012 10:50 am
@BillRM,
no i meant i was 11 when i had my first boyfriend i am older now of course i was just going back to my child hood
Ragman
 
  1  
Sat 7 Jan, 2012 11:05 am
@softballstar 48,
You've already indicated in a few places on this website your correct age - 12.
http://able2know.org/topic/70322-14#post-4852759

that is under age for this website. Lying isn't helping.
0 Replies
 
Anonymous1234567890
 
  1  
Wed 24 Oct, 2012 10:26 pm
@GracieGirl,
First boyfriend? Right now. I'm 20.
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Thu 25 Oct, 2012 08:59 pm
@Anonymous1234567890,
You're 20 and this is your first boyfriend?



And why are people commenting on alot of my old threads all of a sudden. Do you guys still look at these? Eww. I wish I could delete everything from 2011. Laughing
Lustig Andrei
 
  4  
Thu 25 Oct, 2012 09:04 pm
@GracieGirl,
A good thread is immortal, Gracie. People keep on coming back to it. It's like retro -- never goes outta style! Smile
Jecksoul
 
  1  
Fri 26 Oct, 2012 09:12 am
@GracieGirl,
Why wouldn't they be cool about it?
Daddy wanted me to become a player and mommy was proud of her good son.
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Mon 29 Oct, 2012 09:09 pm
@Lustig Andrei,
Laughing

Yeah, this was a pretty good thread. It'll be a year old in a month. Weird.
0 Replies
 
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Mon 29 Oct, 2012 09:11 pm
@Jecksoul,
It's different with girls. Especially girls like me with overprotective dads.
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  1  
Tue 13 Nov, 2012 02:04 am
Nooooo, all you've posted here is spam. Your reply is a report to the admin.
0 Replies
 
 

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