How old were you when you had your 1st boyfriend/girlfriend?

You go, girl.

You show here that you have the ability to listen to reason and hear advice despite your strongly held views. I'm confident (once again) that you'll do fine with this and other issues in your life. You make us 'adults' glad we talk to you to help you sort things out.

Just please don't say this again: "he makes me hate him". I cringe when I read that. Also, you need to know you are in a power struggle. Power struggles like this have always been there with teens and their parents. We've all been there. Where yours differs is that you might need another adult person to help smooth this out a bit more and not make it so arbitrary and rigid.

I feel strongly that you'll come out of this issue a wiser and stronger person. AFTER you have Colin over for dinner let's see what happens. I would hope and think that he will back off, too ... but if not, I'd be pushing for a 3rd adult to help HIM moderate his stand. God knows how you two will work that scenario out...but it's a good idea nonetheless.

GracieGirl wrote:

I dont know, maybe because you were bigger it was easy for you to fit in. I mean, you weren't noticeably smaller or younger. Plus you were a boy. I dont think parents give boys as many rules as girls. It's soo sexist. You could do all the things your friends could, right?

I do think because I wasn't smaller it was easier. I honestly hardly ever thought about the fact that I was younger, and mostly forgot about it.

Yeah, I do suppose boys are treated differently than girls. Us dads feel an obligation to protect girls to a greater degree than boys.

And, no, I could not do all the things my friends could do.

My 13 year old son doesn't get to do all the things his friends do, either. And he doesn't have a cell phone yet ... he may be the only kid in his grade (8th) without a cell phone (which he reminds me of often), but that's fine. He doesn't need a cell phone. I managed to survive my childhood without a cell phone. "But Dad, all my friends have a cell phone," has not yet been an effective argument for him.

Yeh, but that could flummox stuff if the third person was a fool.

I strongly think Gracie and her father need to walk and talk. Have to look back, what did I say, open a channel... by which I meant, whatever I said, channel of communication.

Well, I've had my share of ".....but the others can do it, why not me?" when Jane was around that age, I am not about to start this here. Bottom line is,
Gracie has to obey her father's wishes, if she sees logic in them or not, is secondary here. Yes, she's a mature 13 year old, but we also have seen her naivety come through many times, so I uphold my reason to side with her Dad.

I still have these arguments of "why can't I do that?"....but with proper reasoning and explanation, Jane eventually comes around and understands. She actually questions her friends parents who allow them
to do things she was prohibited to do. Now she thinks they don't care enough about their kids.....that's how fast the table turns
-----

Gracie, you're a sweet sweet girl and definitely smarter beyond your years, but there is also an emotional intelligence everyone has to grow into and
don't fault your dad for trying to protect his "little" girl. You mean the world to him and he just wants to protect you. Walk in his shoes for a few minutes....

GracieGirl wrote:

Eva wrote:

GracieGirl wrote:

...I don't know why I put it on Facebook. I was just excited and happy and I wanted all my friends to know. And I'm friends with my dad on Facebook but we dont talk or play games or anything there. So, sometimes I forget that he's there and he's checking stuff and everything. He shouldn't be checking my stuff anyway. I'm never on his Facebook page looking at all his stuff. That's why I don't even like going to my Facebook page to talk to friends anymore. He's soo annoying.

He wouldn't have to snoop, Gracie. It would have popped up on his News Feed. Whenever you change your relationship status, it's like making an announcement to the whole world. Everyone on your friends list is notified. If your dad changed his relationship status because of a girlfriend, it would pop up on your News Feed as well.

Oh yeah! I forgot about that. But still, he's the one who 'insists' that we be friends on facebook. So, I know it's because he wants to snoop around.
And Facebook is soo stupid. The News Feed is soo pointless and stalkerish. They keep changing stuff for no reason. Facebook was fine the way it was before.

I insisted that my son "friend" me, too. It was a condition of letting him be on FB. Before you accuse me of being unnecessarily snoopy or controlling...let me explain why parents do this.

I don't monitor his phone calls or text messages because those are private. But FB is public. What goes on there can affect you AND YOUR FAMILY's reputation. A parent has a responsibility to know what is being said about their family members in public. What you put on FB might as well be on a billboard. It's not private. Several times I've had to ask my son to remove certain postings because they would harm his ability to get a job (employers always check FB along with references) or his relationships with relatives that are FB friends. He's applying for colleges now, and they check applicants' FB pages, too. When I suggest that he remove something, his reply is always, "Oh, I forgot about that." THAT's why we monitor public stuff.

Gracie will most likely make some good choices and a few bad ones. But she's smart, and she'll learn from them. By the time she's ready for a serious relationship, I expect she'll have enough experience to recognize a wonderful guy.

Secondly, how can he talk to friends? Most people like to text and you can't text with a house phone. and cell phones make it soo much easier. Having friends and talking to them and hanging out is important too.

You're son doesn't have a cell phone and he's my age? I dont get it, why? What's wrong with having a cell phone?

I could soo help him with his argument.

First of all, what if something happens and he's in trouble or hurt and you're not around? What then? If he doesn't have his own phone how can he let you or anyone else know he's hurt?

Secondly, how can he talk to friends?

Most people like to text and you can't text with a house phone. and cell phones make it soo much easier. Having friends and talking to them and hanging out is important too.

...I didn't know bosses and college people check your facebook and stuff. But if you don't want your Facebook public, You could just set it to private, right? My Facebook is super private (because of my dad) and my a2k Facebook is semiprivate.

Be sure you clean up your page before you start applying for jobs or colleges, okay?