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How old were you when you had your 1st boyfriend/girlfriend?

 
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 04:08 pm
@ossobuco,
Well, I messed up the whole quote thing, but you can follow my pov by the bolding.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 04:15 pm
Well, to Gracie, sex is powerful and happens with "dating", or doesn't, which often brings contention. I'm the last person to turn you against it, but sex will motivate many who are not ready to be parents.

Were you hoping this topic would not involve sex? I understand that, but it does involve sex, and also gives a clue of why your father worries.
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 04:41 pm
@jcboy,
Haha! Laughing Mr. Green
0 Replies
 
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 04:43 pm
@Lustig Andrei,
Haha! Well that doesn't count. That's not dating. That's a crush. Laughing
0 Replies
 
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 04:49 pm
@George,
27? Shocked Shocked Shocked Surprised

Why? Confused Are you religious?
0 Replies
 
Roberta
 
  2  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 04:51 pm
I had my first steady boyfriend when I was 13. My mother was thrilled; my father less so.
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 05:07 pm
@ossobuco,
Dads should know that just because we wanna date doesn't mean we're gonna have sex and stuff. Dating is just dating. You don't have to have sex when you date someone. And just because you're dating doesn't mean your gonna. That's stupid.

I don't think my question involves sex. It doesn't. I just wanna have a boyfriend. I don't care about anything else. That's why I think it's soo unfair that I can't date yet. Dating isn't even that big a deal. My brother was dating when he was 13 and my dad didn't care but I'm 13 now and he doesn't let me do half the stuff Matt does. This is like, the 3rd time I've gotten in trouble because of boys. It's soo stupid and it's sexist and it doesn't make sense. If I was a boy my dad wouldn't care if I was dating or having sex or whatever but since I'm a girl he goes nuts if I even 'look' at a guy. It's annoying.


GracieGirl
 
  1  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 05:09 pm
@Roberta,
Aww! You were lucky. See, almost everyone starts dating at 13. Im almost 14 now! So I don't see why it's such a big deal in our house. My dad grounded me because I have a boyfriend. It's soo stupid. Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes
FOUND SOUL
 
  3  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 05:16 pm
@GracieGirl,
You know your Daddy's princess don't you? Smile

He is worried about boys and the way their minds think, he was one, once:)

You know what I would do?

I would honor his wish for now but ask for a compromise, that your boyfriend comes to your house for dinner maybe once a week, and that's the only dating you will do with him, so that your Dad can get to know him and then judge what type of boy he is.

I'd also discuss with your Dad that you understand that "some" boys are only after sex, you are not a child anymore in that respect, but you have morals and have no intentions of having sex at your age... Talk to him maturely.

See what eventuates.



Roberta
 
  3  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 05:21 pm
@GracieGirl,
Gracie, Mostly my boyfriend and I were together at parties. We didn't do much in the way of dating (going someplace together).

I said that my father was a lot less thrilled than my mother. You're dealing with a father--the male of the species. I suspect that he's reluctant to let you date because he remembers what he was like when he was your age--and what he wanted from a girl. He's feeling protective of you.
jespah
 
  2  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 05:25 pm
Hmm. I was first kissed when I was 9. But that was not a boyfriend, per se. I also "dated" in summer camp, which essentially meant you kissed (sometimes more, generally not) and also held hands and spent time together. That was early/mid-teens, 13, 14, that kinda thing.

Had my first real date-date I think when I was 15. Keep in mind I was younger than everyone because of when I'm born, plus I skipped a grade. So 15 meant I was in my junior year in High School. I went to a party with one guy named Tom and left with a different guy, also named Tom. Tom D. (the second one) and I dated all summer; he came to my house and met my folks. He was a sweet guy but not Jewish. My folks kinda liked him, though, despite the fact that he was a bit long-haired; he was going to go to college for engineering, and was a year ahead of me (his sister and I were in class together).

It ended when he went off to college, to Drexel University. He had won a local scholarship and all. I remember hearing about him when he graduated college; he turned around and funded a scholarship for another kid to come after him. Dunno what happened to him but I imagine he is designing bridges somewhere. Smile
ossobuco
 
  1  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 05:30 pm
@GracieGirl,
This is why people used to say to us "stay the way you are".
shewolfnm
 
  2  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 05:34 pm
I was in 2nd grade. Still remember his name..
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  5  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 05:35 pm
@GracieGirl,
The way I see this is that people's personal experiences here with all the different age ranges is at best interesting and at worst misleading.

I started really dating when I got my license at 16.5. Before that I had crushes or romantic interests. I kissed girls at boy-girl parties at age 14 but no one special.

At around age 15.5 I had what I called a real g/f when she visited the pond where there was public swimming near me. I used to go see her by walking to her house (5 miles away)..or biking there. I used to meet her at the movies and I'd pay for her ticket. I had a p/t job so I could do that. If we wanted to go to the ocean, I'd meet her there and we'd get ice cream and hang out.

So, my answer is that dating for me started at 15.5 yrs. I almost never informed my parents because it was just too complicated and they were dealing with my mom's terminal illness. I didn't want to make them focus on anthing else. My bothers and sisters were allowed to have a steady b/f or g/f at age 16 and age 18.

However, whatever your dad has set out for rules should be followed. He might or might not have a double-standard but I think it's important you have harmony there. When you look back say at age 18, I think you'll be happy about it later on. Amazing how a few years changes your perspective.

I don't mean to sound either old-fashioned or being paternal. I think you are probably more grown up than most 16 -18 yr olds..but it's the 'other' person that could be at question.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 05:38 pm
@GracieGirl,
Dads know better.
Sometimes.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 05:47 pm
@ossobuco,
I recommend you open a channel for talking with your dad. Not that that will be immediately somehow all good and useful - just an opening for talking.

I don't have experience in that - my mother was closed and father would have talked if I had the wits to ask him, but I didn't.
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 06:47 pm
I had a boyfriend around 14/15 - puppy love, nothing too serious. My first real boyfriend, a more serious relationship, came along when I was 17.

Gracie, I would not approve of dating at 13 either, not because you can't handle it, but because of the boys intentions. You want to have someone from the opposite sex where you can hang out with him, kiss him, talk to him, text him, and that's about it. Unfortunately, boys at that age have raging hormones and a kiss is seldom enough for them and it will lead to other things you don't want and may be pressured into.

I also got news for you - boys don't like to text endlessly or carry on a conversation like your girlfriends do, unless you talk sports Wink

Jane has a boyfriend now , but she's 16 years old - they were friends first
and they're still best friends which is kind of nice. It also helps that he's a good boy with great manners who is very considerate towards Jane.
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 06:51 pm
@FOUND SOUL,
Haha! I used to be a 'daddy's girl but not anymore because ever since I turned 13 he started getting more and more annoying. He has too many rules and I can't do anything. Sad

The 'discussing' thing sounds like a good idea but it's hard to discuss stuff. Parents never listen. My dad thinks he knows everything. Plus he's mad at me so I know he won't listen. I could try talking to him about that later on tonight. That's actually a good idea, having Collin (my boyfriend) cone over for dinner and stuff. Thanks for that! That could work. It'll be weird though. Smile
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 06:58 pm
@Roberta,
Roberta wrote:

Gracie, Mostly my boyfriend and I were together at parties. We didn't do much in the way of dating (going someplace together).

I said that my father was a lot less thrilled than my mother. You're dealing with a father--the male of the species. I suspect that he's reluctant to let you date because he remembers what he was like when he was your age--and what he wanted from a girl. He's feeling protective of you.


Well, that's still dating Roberta. He was still your boyfriend. You talked on the phone and texted and stuff, right?


Hey, are most moms cooler about dating or do they think it's a big deal too? I don't get the protective part either. I mean, I'd understand if I had a sucky boyfriend and my dad was worried and protective but thats not how it is. Collin's sweet and awesome and perfect. I like being his girlfriend and dads ruining it.
Sturgis
 
  2  
Sat 3 Dec, 2011 07:33 pm
@GracieGirl,
Technically or legit?


About 5 I fell madly in love with some older boy, he had black hair and sideburns and he talked to me and played with some cheap plastic toy I had, so I knew we must be dating. Mother was in phase-1 of lunacy and didn't react. My father may or may not have noticed. Anyway, the love interest graduated high school and went to college and eventually to Brooklyn.

Fast forward a few years, I was in high school and in my teens. I hadn't been advised by anyone about non-heterosexual relationships, so I dated girls. Brenda, Nancy, Joanne. Mercifully it didn't go anywhere as I don't want to think of all the damage which could have been done emotionally to them. Mother despised Nancy, accused her of all manners of things, mainly that Nancy was "trying to get her hooks" in me. She was far from cool about it. She had issues.

All 3 of them are now married and quite happy the last I heard.

About 19 I finally got out of the closet and started dating men, Mother of course didn't approve when she eventually found out (I was 22 or so at the time and everybody else already knew, she didn''t handle it at all well). My father, who had departed planet Earth a few years earlier, most likely wouldn't have had a problem with it. He was a quiet sort usually, and drunk much of the time; but, he seemed most concerned that his children were happy. Uncle Bert (one of my several guardians), my grandmother (another guardian), Jerome and Irene (yes, more guardians) were okay with my choices.

 

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