Unwanted staring at the workplace?

Change your schedule or wear unflattering clothes. Wear glasses - this puts off most guys or sit with a friend or co-worker.

I agree with everything your wrote T72000 but the glasses idea unless they're overly garish Lady Gaga style glasses. Eyeglass wearers tend to be irrationally associated with having a high intellect. Intellects are associated with being geeks. Geeks are sexy. Ergo, the addition of glasses may backfire.

Ignore him.

That only eggs him on. Maybe the guy has been watching too many Bollywood movies where the (hero) guy basically stalks the girl.

It sounds like you work at a place that is sufficiently large to have an HR department. It also sounds like you are somewhat concerned for your safety. I think a confidential visit to HR may be in order.

This might sound a little odd, but could you possibly enlist a couple of the other women as allies? You could get together for lunch, look at him while he's staring, then put your heads together and giggle. It could be discouraging.

Hmm.

I can't obviously change my shift timings - I usually go to the cafeteria around lunch time and sometimes in the evening around six.

Wear glasses? I don't know if this was intended as a joke, but I can't see myself doing it really. Wear glasses for keeping a guy at bay? I mean, why do I have take so much pain?

And no, I don't wear flattering clothes - just normal casual wear. Our office dress code won't allow for fashionable stuff.

And I usually eat with my co-workers (two of them most of the time) and am not generally alone in that place.

I've been trying to do it, but I wonder how long that will work. I'm not sure if it's working at all. He seems to be getting more confident with the gaping business.

Ditto what Engineer said. If you don't know the starers name, maybe HR can have lunch with you one day to identify him.

For some reason, this idea brings the thought of a possible Taxi Driver type of counterreaction from this potential stalker.

Yes, you are right about the safety part, and yes, there's a highly active HR department. And visiting them never crossed my mind for some reason. I was, on the other hand, considering approaching a senior female co-worker at my "floor" and discussing this with her.

She's been here for a while and might have some advice. But I'm definitely visiting HR.

Thanks for your suggestion, Engineer!

I would like to do that. Like seriously!

But I think I'm somewhat freaked out to try something funny.

oh brother.

Forget that nonsense about wearing unflattering cloths and eyeglasses.

What, it's now the womans obligation to go out and buy clothes she Doesn't look good in, or God Forbid, wear EYEGLASSES? (said with sarcasm, since women who wear eyeglass do manage to somehow breed as well as women without)

Spidergal, fellow woman here.

Take it that this person is already stalking you, and act accordingly.
Going up to him and saying Anything is encouragement to him. He doesn't care if the attention is negative, positive, or neutral.

#1, since you work together, I would report him to Human Resources, so that a paper trail is initiated.
Yes, having HR call him down to their offices will be attention, but you will then have it on record that you have made it know this is not acceptable to you.
On the chance he is not a stalker, and just inept, this will startle or scare him into leaving you alone.
I wouldn't bet on it though, he will probably just change his venue.

If he does, don't let yourself be caught alone walking to your car, or the bus, or however you get to or from work. Buddy up with another woman, who will understand, and walk with her. Do you have a brother who can meet you, or another male figure?

My first reaction was to sit so that your back is to him, but he may take that as attention as well.
I would sit at an angle to him, not facing him, and just forget he there, not looking in his direction.

If he is a stalker, he will continue to do so until he finds another object of interest.

It is absolutely key that you do not do anything that he will interpret as attention.
Where most of us would give up if we didn't look at someone, a stalker thinks "She looked at me! I only had to sit here 500 times for her to look at me. Now all I have to do is sit here abother 500 times for her to look at me again."
That is truly how a stalker thinks. I know this from personal experience.

I think talk72000 could be onto something.

I also think engineer's recommendation of talking to HR is good.

The group of women giggling will probably just feed into the Bollywood movie stereotype and not be of benefit.

precisely.

He's behaving inappropriately, in a way that makes you uncomfortable.

I am not sure if approaching HR is appropriate where you are working, but it's certainly the way I'd go if this was happening to me here in Canada.

Thanks, Chai, for your thoughts here.

It will take me a couple of more days to figure out whether he's really "stalking" me. Our paths rarely cross outside the cafeteria, so I'm not too sure.

I don't have family in this town, so I'm on my own. Sigh.

Totally disagree with the changing clothes, schedule etc stuff... uh uh.. nope.

Definitely pay a visit to HR and voice your concerns, following it up in writing to HR if it continues.

edit: also, I agree that you should not approach him.

We've certainly had enough posters wondering if someone will realize their feelings if they just look/stare. They're not all stalkers. Some of them just don't know how to approach someone.

In some cultures, people haven't traditionally approached someone they're interested in without some kind of family/friend introduction/intervention.

I've only worked here for some four months, so I can't very sure about how helpful the HR will be, but there's this lady I know there who was involved with our induction into the organization.

She also presides over "skip" meetings where we can voice our complaints, etc.

She comes off as a sound woman to me. Will talk to her first thing tomorrow morning.

Thanks for your advice.