Unwanted staring at the workplace?

I don think that we know this....it might be the HR has put to bed a frivolous complaint, and that this event will make the rumor mill as such. Having worked in a union shop for a number of years I am well familiar with how making a lightly supported complaint against someone can turn into a negative for the one who made the grievance.

she's "assuming" and you're saying we don't "know" this. No ****, that's why it's an "assumption". How to try to invoke some fear back into the situation, asshole!

You know what, I ******* don't care if each and every employee in this workplace goes around saying, "Look, that's Miss everyone-stares-at-me walking over there."

I'm only concerned about my safety and productivity at work. They were both at a risk of being jeopardized because of this unwarranted attention.

Amen

I am so proud of you, spidergal! You've handled that situation so well -
including the feedback to hawkeye

sounds a lot like what I have heard before from people who have driven their careers into the ditch. You make your choices and you live with the consequences. Being good at your job is only a small part of being successful, a point that the young are often ignorant of.

Based on how aware he was of time's ya'll had met, and based on his volunteering about having "seen you at the mall", I'd say there's definitely enough evidence to warrant your being cautious.

I'd suggest that you call back your HR rep and mention, "you know, I've been thinking about the exchange yesterday and it concerns me that he volunteered how he'd seen me at the mall. This behavior obviously goes beyond the workplace, and I'd like it noted in the records you're keeping."

Good point DD.

Yes, that sounds wise.

I had a similar reaction to that comment. The mall isn't in your workplace, is it? (You talked about having a "campus," so it's slightly possible.)

That's right, the mall is not in the office premises. There are a couple in town, and I often visit them with friends.

But DD's right on, and I'll convey this to HR tomorrow, while also emphasizing again that I am pretty sure he was staring all the time, despite him denying it strongly.

No, not "pretty sure", you are "positive he was staring"

It did happen and he could do it again and to someone else if you said nothing.

It could be that he's from a country where that is commonplace. Here in Texas, some of the old (not necessarily in age) TX guys really do stare outright. But, then, so did they in New England. I imagine he thinks you are just smashing!

I wouldn't let on that I even noticed he's staring. Could be he's hoping you will get a little uncomfortable.

Yeah but this guy is really creepy, he'll pacifically sit where he can stare at her everyday that's just creepy, I haven't got a problem with blokes staring but some situations it's inappropriate and can make a girl feel uncomfortable and that aint right.

Thanks for your response in my thread btw.

He was taking advantage of his seniority. Senior people thinks they can push people around. I know I felt it too and nothing to do with sex. Some managers get their underlings to do their house cleaning and personal stuff.

But avoid riling him up such that he might step up his activities. Be defensive that is what is taught in defensive driving. Learn how to avoid being targetted. A moving target is harder to hit. Don't do things which are predictable in life. If you travel a certain route, change it once in a while. If you sit in a certain seat at lunch sit somewhere else. If you go to the lunch room during lunch time, go out, if possible, or pack a lunch bag and eat outside. If he follows you then you have a real case and even go to the police. At the same time be aware that he doesn't get to know where you live.

Okay this is bad but hope this will help you take your mind off.

You are a foreigner so it is not going to happen to you. But in a workplace or elsewhere with Indian girls it is quite common.

Spidergal, if some guy's staring eyes are frightening you I think you could take some kind of action, like have a few friends surround you as you walk past this person, all of them with exagerated smiles on their faces (you too). Lots of teeth showing. Anything to break up this guy's rudeness (to put it mildly), letting him know that all of you are aware of and don't like his staring. Maybe he thinks you like it. Some people are dumb that way.

I'm not completely sure this is a good idea. It just seems possible that HR will decide you are acting on some personal vendetta if you go back with ground that has already been covered. Maybe they didn't attach enough significance to the details, but the follow up just may shift their sympathies to the guy.

Not sure on this, but it might be better to have them completely in your corner, rather than developing sympathy for him.