Unwanted staring at the workplace?

I should have said more clearly, I missed that conversation because of an ignore I'd had in place for months.

I missed it for exactly the same reason.

Anyway, this time I'll go with the thundering herd. Spidey knows the difference between being stared at and just being looked over.

We can wack off over pictures ?? REALLY ?? I must try that. What about avatars ?

I was accused of staring once......but I was only hung over and half asleep. I have had two people, one an instructor and one lecturer who were cross eyed but didnt know it. They would ask a question and then get really angry when two people on opposite sides of the room would either both answer or both ignore him. They would never point...they would say things like..."not you...you"...how do you tell someone they are cross-eyed ?

This staring guy might have a childish crush...to assume all men are evil bastards wanting to rape is a bit dramatic...talk to a common friend.

I knew she was in India from older conversations.

Still, I didn't get the "he even has a bike" comment Spidergal made. Anyone know what that means for a guy in India? Like, he could follow her? He's rich? He could get away kinda sorta quickly? What does that mean?

Here it is... from back on page 3:

Oh, spider.

I don't want to make you fear further, you and we don't know enough. This is probably just a dolt.

I had a handsome horse's ass tease me/come on to me seemingly incessently back in time, but nothing like what you are describing. My teaser was a well regulated human having fun.

I'm glad you reported.

Stares into space. A fairly famous scientist used to pull up a chair across from me in the biomed library. (I have this problem pulling up his name, not from anger, but simple memory stuff). He stared at me. But then, he also stared at the the clock, which was above my head.

I think you are exaggerating the negative impact of reporting this to HR. Our HR department gets these on a semi-regular basis and investigates them discretely. If no harm was intended, then they'll close the case, but they will stop the behavior with minimal risk to SG. Having identified him to HR is a plus. If this is a recurring pattern, they can pick up on it. If it is an isolated misunderstanding, then it's just a note in a file. This is much better than chatting with friends and starting a rumor that is much harder to close the file on.

I figure staring at women is at least in part cultural.

Sorry if I wasn't clear enough.

He uses a bike for commuting to work unlike most of the other folk (including me) who avail of the office cabs. Just concerned me that if he has a bike, it might be easier for him to follow me back home or something. Just a thought I had.

I understand where the minority comments on this thread are coming from, but I will stick to my plan, and let me assure you again: this guy is no normal starer.

There's a normal "I find her cute" way to stare and there's the creepy way to stare at girls. His is the latter. He stares constantly. With a blank expression. He stares while sitting, while walking. To the point it makes me very uncomfortable.

I'm not particularly bad looking, and I know there are other guys at work who ogle at me. But that's fine. I understand their urge to look at females. Those stares don't freak me out. This airhead's do. Really.

And I ain't taking this ****.

Disregard my previous comments. I didn't know where you were, or the current climate against women who reject men's advances. You are doing the right thing. Good luck.

Perfect sigline.

Easier to follow you home... Okay, that's what I initially thought was meant but then wondered if it was something else.

Have a great weekend!

Looking at your picture, that is quite an understatement.

This sounds like an episode from "Outsourced."

If you have not lived in India you might not understand the predicament men face. India is an ultra conservative religious country. Till the 70s or 80s there was no kissing allowed in Bollywood movies. Guys and girls up to high school go to separate schools. Boys therefore do not know how to interact with girls. All they see are Bollywood movies and almost all cases the handsome hero is a stalker and the girl finally succomb to his charms either singing with Mohd. Rafi's voice or some fancy footwork or bravery. The girl initially finds the guy repulsive. I see the same script. Maybe if this guy can sing like Mohd. Rafi spidergal may change her mind. It is a tough situation for guys and gals. Most of the marriages were arranged marriages as well.

I would have said 'drop dead gorgeous', not that I'm staring or anything.

I would definitely talk with HR. Do you have a cell phone with a camera?
If so then, while he stares at you, I would point my phone and
conspicuously take his picture. If he happens to actually walk
up to you and ask him why you did that tell him the truth. Say

"I'm taking your picture because I don't know your name and I
need a way to identify you to HR." When he asks why you are
talking to HR about him tell the truth again. "Your blatant staring
At me all through every lunch is rude and unnerving and so I am
reporting you." This could get you his name and at least a
reason from him about why he is doing this.

Thanks talk72000. That post might help a few people understand the cultural underpinnings a bit better.

Useful post there, talk.