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Sat 19 Jul, 2014 09:52 pm
Ok, so I'm a guy, new at this job (4 weeks). My boss was away the other day, and the personal assistant to my boss called me later in the afternoon saying that she had some "down time" and was wondering if I had any extra work that needed to get done. I told her no but thanks. The guys were joking that she "definitely" likes me, and that no one in their right mind, if they really had nothing to do, would call up a coworker actually volunteering to do work. They said they would just sit there and pretend to be busy, while doing their own thing. So they said she "must" like me. But I'm not so sure. Yeah, it is definitely weird, but the way I see it, in order for that to be taken as a sign of romantic interest, she would have had to do like 10 other things that coworkers normally do to signal interest, like stop by my office at least a few times (although I am all the way on the other side of the building across the hall), or at least smile big smiles when she sees me (I see her every morning to get my boss's schedule), or look me in the eye with those eyes you just know someone is into you. But there's not really been anything like that. Our interactions have been pretty mundane and unexciting. Now, in all honestly I have to admit I am definitely not the most exciting personality out there, I kind of come across as disinterested in most other people because, well, I AM disinterested in them! But I think she is very pretty, but since I am new and my job is not secure, I would like some feedback on this before I make any kind of a move, especially since she is the boss's personal assistant.
@riverstyx0128,
Ignore whatever coaxing those guys prodded you on with about her possible romantic interests. Those guys don't have your best interests in mind.
Quote: ... that no one in their right mind, if they really had nothing to do, would call up a coworker actually volunteering to do work.
That's pure bullshit! Watch out for more bad advice from these clowns.
Doing your job (and managing your own workload) should be the most important task for you rather than taking a fantasy to heart and messing with your job. Fercrissakes, if you misinterpreted her intentions, she's your boss's personal assistant. That's not using your head..is it?
Get your feet wet at your job and try to maintain low profile as far as office romances. Learn your job first and foremost. Don't misinterpret someone who offered what could be a legit professional query about her desire for gaining some more of workload.
Pardon my lecturing but I see a bad pathway here. Don't troll for dates at a new job. Plenty of other places to find yourself hotties.
@Ragman,
Hi, thank you for your answer. I agree it is most likely a bad idea, especially now when I am so new and have yet to prove myself, and for those reasons I think I will stay away. But I think they are right in this one, narrow respect: she probably was trying to make herself known to me, to give out a subtle hint. I've never come across a coworker at any job of mine in the past that was actually happy to do more work when s/he had the option not to do so.
@riverstyx0128,
riverstyx0128 wrote:I've never come across a coworker at any job of mine in the past that was actually happy to do more work when s/he had the option not to do so.
<raises hand>
told my vp this week that I've got some capacity to take on more work
it happens pretty regularly in my experience of working
I agree with ehBeth that it is possible - maybe she is smart and fast and wanted some work to do.
I will add a very old piece of advice, considered nasty even years ago - - - - don't get involved where you work, as in "don't **** where you eat".
Lots of people have and sometimes that has worked out; many times not, thus, beware.
@ossobuco,
Hi ossobucco, thanks for your answer. Incidentally lamb osso bucco is one of my favorite dishes. Anything is possible at this point, and I suppose the truth is, I won't really know anything without more information. My only point is that, with like an hour and a half left in the day, it was weird for her to offer to do *somebody else's* work *for them*. It just seemed weird. It's like offering to do a favor for me out of the blue. Why would she be inclined to be so nice, especially since I'm new and we don't really know each other. But I don't have enough information at this point, and anything I or anyone else can say is really just speculation.
I know exactly what to do when I go back to work this week though. I'm gonna see her and tell her thank you so much for offering to help me with my work, and if you ever have down time in the future, feel free to call me to chat or just stop over where I work to hang out. That's it. Simple. That will put the ball in her court. And if she likes me, she will follow up. If she doesn't, all she has to do to make that clear is not stop by my office, and not call me. That's it. That will get the message across. It's a really low-pressure situation. And I like things best that way.
@riverstyx0128,
You're not quite listening... which I understand.
Oh, and on lamb ossobuco, I only tasted that once, but cooked by a crazed food fanatic, not unlike me, but even more obnoxious, it was great.
You are new; her boss was away; she probably wanted to know what you were doing since she would have to report to the boss when he/she returns.
Don't read anything into this. She was probably just monitoring the newbie.
Her remark was much better than, "Let me see what you have been doing since the boss was away."
@PUNKEY,
PUNKEY wrote:
You are new; her boss was away; she probably wanted to know what you were doing since she would have to report to the boss when he/she returns.
Don't read anything into this. She was probably just monitoring the newbie.
Her remark was much better than, "Let me see what you have been doing since the boss was away."
I wouldn't be surprised if there was a component of this in the contact.
@ehBeth,
OK, lol, maybe this is my fault. But I think at this point we are all getting a little bit too much into this. I mean, generally when people like me think about something, we cover all the possibilities, even remote ones. But in an effort not to miss the forest for the trees, I will say this: there are only two plausible possibilities here. Either (a) she phoned me at work because she wanted to think of a way to talk to me, putting aside the entire question of whether she likes me "like that," or (b) she really had little other work to do and she wanted to stay productive. Those are the possibilities. That's it. And there's really no reliable way to choose among them *without further information*, which means, going about life as normal over the next couple of weeks and seeing if anything else develops. If it does, fine. If it doesn't, also fine.
@riverstyx0128,
riverstyx0128 wrote:Why would she be inclined to be so nice,
you're assuming it was an attempt to be nice
gotta be careful about assumptions like that - especially in a new (to you) workplace
Who knows, maybe she will even tell people she had to help you with your workload. It's happened before.
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