Lash, I'll let this play out to see what happens IRL, but frankly, I cannot believe you connocted all this.
Those "3 dudes" that were told? From their response, I'm sure it's well known by everyone there that village has 2 extra idiots. They've got a lot of time on their plate for making up school yard stories....Newbie and the PA sittin' in a tree, K..I..S..S..I..N..G...
This PA is showing her "hate" for him by checking up to see that his work is being done on time? Seriously?
Perhaps she spends a lot of time every day doing followup with people within that office and other locations regarding getting reports and figures in, so she can do her work.
When I was working, an automated email would go out from me on the 3rd of the month, to about 15 people, reminding them they had to have the TPS report to me on the 7th. Almost half the people wouldn't even get started on it until they received my reminder, and it would arrive to me on the 7th. The almost other half had already started it before getting the reminder, and would send it to me on any time between the 3rd and the 5th. Then there were the 2 people that not only had to get the email, but had to be called by me on the 8th to ask where the TPS report was. They always had some excuse, but that's another story.
Some knew, others didn't, and still others didn't care that I needed their reports because my boss, the Reg Director, met w/ her boss, a VP, on the 10th of every month, and had to have all the numbers from those reports correct and variances explained.
Whatever the OP is sending to the PA, he may think it's some "BS administrative paperwork", is something his boss will get raked over the coals about a day later. Yeah, he's getting it in on time anyway. He needs to build his reputation up with the PA as a responsible person. Since he's (a) been there 4 weeks, and (b) hasn't made any attempt to communicate with her that she doesn't have to waste her precious work time reminding him, and btw Ms. PA, I'd love to learn how the info I'm providing you is being rolled up. It'll help me learn more about the company.
Flowers? I'm actually (unbelievably) speechless.
If I received flowers from a newbie, even assuming for a moment it's all about Manny, Mo and Jake tittering around the water cooler, he would for a loooong time remain in my radar as that quasi creepy person who couldn't leave well enough alone, and couldn't figure out the way to get on my good side was to send me his reports on time, or early.
I don't know Lash, maybe this would play well with most women, if you say so. My gut tells me this would send a LOT of women into "ok, this is really weird" mode.
If a man wouldn't send flowers to a man in the work place to anonymously apologize, don't send it to a woman. That's not at all cool.
Maybe he could buy a bag of bagels and smear for everyone, but make a point to go around to her desk first thing with the bag, offering her one before it goes on the lunchroom table.
This is a business. Let's keep it to business. A start would be for the OP to distance himself professionally from the 3 stooges.