What do women look for in men Personality or Looks?

then...the pile of shyte on the roof of his car as it goes through the toll at 90 or so.

Personally (imagine that being said by Curly of the 3 Stooges), I am rather tired of psycho-babble.

I can't get this thread out of my mind. I was thinking about it while driving today. It occurred to me that when a friend who about five years younger then me became single (about two years after I did), she went through the list of men she knew, considering each for his potential for a relationship. I never told her, but I had considered two men on her list in the same way.

Most women find these two men physically attractive although neither is classically handsome. Both are extremely knowledgeable about music. Both have great speaking voices (this is something that women find very attractive that has not been mentioned). Both are short . . . probably between 5' 6" and 5' 8". OK, so that makes them a mixed bag.

Interestingly, my friend and I eliminated these men because one has a reputation for being grouchy and the other has had trouble in relationships.

Does this post offer some insights?

Did either of you have success in this pursuit of a business deal? I would never consider a woman whose heart was not in the deal..

Had this been written by someone other than me and had I read it, I would have understood that neither woman pursued either man . . . that the entire thing was a thought experiment.

Baby, you know that turns me on... If you have at least three boards racked, call me.

I recently said that there are many men who post here that I am secretly in love with. I declined to answer who they might be for several reasons. There are, however, several men here that were I to be able to identify them and were I about to enter a room in which they were located, I might turn around and leave.

Since I only know these men by the personalities they display here, it would seem that this woman responds to personalities.

I know intelligence wasn't one of the choices, but shouldn't that be what's hottest in men? Smart men who might be a little gruff are far more attractive than good looking, outgoing studs any day of the week. Besides, looks fade, and "personality" is a really bland word. What woman (or man, in my case) isn't fascinated by the ruminous looks of the mechanic or the thoughtful eyes of a bookworm? Ability to make money, and lots of it, doesn't hurt either--just my practical side speaking here--ha. But you didn't say if the woman is looking for long term relationship or just casual flirting, which really makes a big difference.

AND, YES, I'M NOW REPLYING TO MY OWN POSTS--NOT BECAUSE I'M CRAZY, BUT BECAUSE I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I ACTUALLY SPENT TIME THINKING ABOUT THIS BULLSH_T! AND THEN WRITING ABOUT IT...I NEED TO READ MY OWN SCREEN NAME...AND NEVER COME BACK HERE AGAIN.

Definitely personality comes first with an element of physical attraction. I've met beautiful men who opened their narcissistic mouths and completely turned me off to them to the point I've lost interest, can't stand arrogance.

I like it if you show me a good time by having a good laugh. I laughed all the time at the beginning of my current relationship, aphrodisiac too, produces those feel good chemicals.

My boyfriend is a bit insecure because he feels threatened by good looking blokes, but we have been thro so much together and he's been there for me 105 percent and given me so much support so I guess it's about being kind to each other, looking after each other and giving each other support when needed, compare all of that to a pretty face, no way would I trade him for a narcissistic pretty boy who is shallow when I need so much more than that.

You'd be surprised that us women have needs beyond a pretty face, they got to be able to step up to the plate if needed, not running out the door the first sign of difficulties. I'd never manage with a good looking bloke because I put so much value on how strong a bloke is, his values and morals. Not all good looking blokes are lacking in quality they're just hard to find. I need a man with the same set of morals, values and standards as me so we can grow and we do, and I know I can rely on my man too.

All the qualities I've mentioned are what makes up a good man, good human which is higher on my agenda then something as shallow as looks. As Judge Judy rightly says, "beauty fades, dumb is forever" Some good looking blokes know they are good looking which is a turn off because again it's narcissistic. And if I value more meaningful things in a relationship, such as trust, truth and love then I'd pick a plainer man any day. I once dated a pretty boy once and he threw his fag end into the river which went against my values, my current boyfriend is very pro green, a value that matches mine and a value I appreciate/admire. So like I said it boils down to quality of the personality which is why I ended up in a deep relationship with Jules and not some pretty boy who cared only for himself, where would I fit in? It boils down to whether you're shallow and go by looks or you value the person and what they can give in your life, because that's where the enjoyment of the relationship lies, someone who improves your life and growth for the better, I mean what you gonna get out of life with just a pretty boy hanging of your arm. I've had offers but I value Jules too much to risk it all for someone handsome, could they look after me, be there for me no matter what,the answer is usually no.

I totally agree intelligence and wisdom are magnates to me, I like a man whose smart.

Yes, at the end of the day, if you aren't in agreement about life, philosophy (whatever it might be), work ethic, or the share a healthy respect for each other, then I don't think it matters how dashing the figure he presents is ( if he's got it, too, then great!) Cheers!

Exactly, it's about enriching one anothers life and that comes from within, beauty fades, dumb is forever.

Most people judge what's on the inside, if someone is judged by their looks alone then that is wrong because what you're saying is what you look like is what's important, to me that's very shallow.

Actually, if this Hobby person had read the thread, he would have discovered that two women immediately answered brains on the first page. I was one of them.

Intelligence is a component of personality.

That's an easy one; they look for $$$$$$$$$$$$.

Not all of us value money in men, a job helps and shows responsibilities, but I for one don't look for rich men.

I usually agree with CI but I thumbed that post down.

I look for a couple of unusual characteristics: self-control and the ability to sacrifice.

Yeah I think it's a bit cynical to think all women are gold diggers and a shame to think that.