What do women look for in men Personality or Looks?

@talk72000,

It makes sense because you can tell how much they would love to be trophies and gold diggers in the least mysterious zone of their being.

All that personality and looks, assuming we keep away from the extremes, is a load of tosh. That's why trophies and gold diggers are such a popular feature in media. They've been soaking up the Tiger Woods version like a sponge that's been on the top shelf of the airing cupboard for six months. Talk about catty. Even some of the men are at it. Six millon smackeroonies we are being told and book rights and interview fees and photo ops and appearences on the merry go round of chat shows and other stuff which I would know more about if I was her agent.

Think of the restaurants. Think of not having to watch golf anymore. Elin gave the whole game away right there. She has admitted to watching golf when Tiger was "up there", as Andy Warhol used to say. It wasn't the golf then. So what was it? Now the contract stipulates that future earnings are off the agenda golf's shite. Which it is.

Let's say Elin ends up with 10 million after agent's commissions and cheques not being cashed. Restaurants, health farms where all the staff look a bit like Freddie Mercury when he had the tash, spacious boudoirs with adjoining en-suites and closets in the dressing room with yards and yards of ladies garments purchased in those establishments where the staff are "very nice" and "most obliging". And the alternative is a lifetime of Tiger talking golf with the odd flurry of nostalgia on important anniversaries.

What a heroic guy. He finds a way to take all the blame. Like Arthur did at the end of the movie of the same name. She had obviously lost him. How can a bloke like that have "inadvertedly" left a message on his machine?

But it's the trophy and the gold digging that interests them all. Like we men are interested in financiers and footballers. "If only". Actually, Elin's in the Junior League. Which helps all the more because it's identifiable with.

Settling her parents into a better house. Cruises on which the staff look like James Robertson Justice or Vincent Price.

And evolution theory stands four square with every last jot and tittle of it. So tell Judge Jones that sometime.

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@plainoldme,

plainoldme wrote:

I disagree and think grooming is part and parcel of who we are.

U think that homosexuals r better at grooming, u say ?
I have not taken particular notice of that; the ones I can think of seemed about average,
except for one who wore a fur coat.

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@OmSigDAVID,

Quote:

???? a large diamond tie clip ?

Those are for chaps who are confused Dave.

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@spendius,

Quote:

James Robertson Justice or Vincent Price

The former is a hoot Razz

but the latter? Hmmm, kinda shaking my head sideways. Rolling Eyes

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@plainoldme,

plainoldme wrote:

But grooming is an expression of personality. A couple of years ago, I took a workshop on resume writing. The instructor asked us to talk about our ideal work situation. Everyone else . . . mainly over-40 women . . .said they wanted to wear jeans to work. Ugh! When it was my turn, I said, I prefer skirts but with tights and "European comfort shoes" and not Manolos. I like a nice blouse or sweater. A blazer is great, too.

Jeans are great for going to a rock concert or cleaning the toilet or hiking but not for work. If I were to be happy wearing jeans to work . . . and I am not a gardener or an artist, someone with a huge talent that requires casual clothes to express that talent . . . I would say to the world that I don't think much of myself. I am a number one of the great masses.

Even at a retail job, were I to go to work with my hair uncombed and in wrinkled clothes, I would send everyone I saw a message that I didn't care two pins for them . . . or for myself.

What we wear and how sends a message about who we are. My alumni association formerly hosted an annual single events at a posh hotel. A Rhode Island lawyer was a regular attendee, always wearing a gawd awful tie. WOmen were turned off by his choice of ties. Should anyone think the guy needed a woman to take him in hand, I say no. LEt him express who he is. We women had the choice of smiling and saying a word or two, then walking on. The idea is not to change someone.

You're talking about work. I'm under the impression that this thread is about dating and attraction.

My hesitance with the "well groomed" bit is that it suggests that the other person should be a reflection of you, and not a projection of their own personality. I don't like the idea of people as accessories. If someone grooms themselves to their personality, they are well groomed. Well groomed shouldn't be my expectation or projection of expectation.

A
R
T

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I've often wondered what it must be like to be getting a bit past it and seeing a boy one once had a teenage affair with, but dumped for some other boy, progress up one of the ladders to the point of being rich and famous.

I put it to a woman in a pub once who hadn't experienced it having married her first love and she said she thought it would eat at her heart every minute of the day. That's what she said.

And there must be a lot of women in that position. And every rich and famous chap was probably dumped a few times as a teenager. I've seen a number of young women moaning and "withdrawing their love" because their boyfriend goes to cricket practice too much. Watch them change their tune when he's playing for England. And they sit in the Member's Lounge with the TV crew picking them out, sometimes holding a little mite, everytime their man plays a good shot or reaches 50 or even a 100. "Basking" doesn't do it justice. But the ones who dumped him are hoping he gets his middle stump kettled first ball. Every run he scores stabs them in the heart.

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@plainoldme,

plainoldme wrote:

David, you need to work on language a bit.
I was pointing out that it may not be your square face
that women do not like but your politics.

Permit me to make a distinction, to wit:
Tho all my life I have strongly disliked my facial appearance
(even BEFORE I got scorched in Arizona),
I have never said that the young ladies have socially avoided me.
Its a good thing that I did not say that, since it is inconsistent with fact.
Indeed, when I was 13 altho I did not look as bad then as I do now,
still on my BEST DAY, I never looked good.

REGARDLESS of that, at age 13 a girl named Joyce, whose father told me
was descended of the Austrian Aristocracy, was, by consensus
equally tied for most beautiful girl in the class with a Greek girl, named Charlotte.
3rd after them was was a petite girl named Joan, with the face of an ANGEL,
and beautiful great, flowing blonde hair. Joyce and Joan both took the initiative
in making social overtures to me. (I thawt thay both had horrible aesthetic taste,
in this choice, but the same as music or painting or food: u can 't tell people what to dislike.)
Thay r both Republicans, tho not as far to the right as I am.

There have been other instances of this.
I thawt that my appearance was so bad that thay shoud have
rejected me out-of-hand, but over the years n decades,
it has proven to be the case that girls and women have
DISAGREED with me about many things, apparently this aesthetic consideration among them.

I am not referring to the gold diggers.
Thay r a separate class, distinct unto themselves & easily discernible.

plainoldme wrote:

Pretty straight forward, especially since you've been gnashing your teeth about your looks.

Yes; gnashing them and renting out my garments.

plainoldme wrote:

women like some pretty homely men.

Yes; me, among them;
I 've always thawt that thay have shockingly egregious senses of aesthetics.

plainoldme wrote:

I've recently named a few not traditionally handsome men who are turn ons. Most women like brains,
which I think is hard-wired into the female psyche, although some recent research seems to indicated
that brains are inherited through the mother.

Yeah; I held my mother's analytical abilities in very hi esteem.
Thay proved to be accurate and fraught with wisdom.

David

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@OmSigDAVID,

Quote:

(I thawt thay both had horrible aesthetic taste

It has always been my top priority that they didn't have any aesthetic taste. I can't imagine what a woman with aesthetic taste would see in me.

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@spendius,

spendius wrote:

Quote:
???? a large diamond tie clip ?

Those are for chaps who are confused Dave.

Confused about what ?

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@OmSigDAVID,

Quote:

Confused about what ?

The facts of life old boy. The facts of life. It always amuses me that those who go on about facts the most are always those who are least conversant with them.

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@OmSigDAVID,

A mouthpiece. A tool. Someone they, that is, the advertising agencies hired by the Republican Party to create slogan, can feed lines to who is willing to make a fool of herself saying them in public.

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@failures art,

Quote:

You're talking about work. I'm under the impression that this thread is about dating and attraction.

So, should someone look like a slob at work and primp for a date? BTW, whenI was in grad school the first time, I wore tailored blouses with my jeans. A man told me one day what an improvement they were over the "sweatshirts you used to wear." While I never owned a sweatshirt, this comment illustrates that men care about women's grooming.

In fact, the Irish writer Ulick O'Connor once wrote that men expect women to be perfectly dressed and coifed without spending a dime but that men forgive their own pimples, beer bellies and bad breath.

Quote:

My hesitance with the "well groomed" bit is that it suggests that the other person should be a reflection of you, and not a projection of their own personality. I don't like the idea of people as accessories

Huh?

Quote:

If someone grooms themselves to their personality, they are well groomed. Well groomed shouldn't be my expectation or projection of expectation.

Sure, that's why I wear skirts to work and a pretty dress to the theatre or to the symphony. That's who I am and that is why I am not attracted to men in Hawaiian shirts and baggy pants who don't comb their hair.

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@OmSigDAVID,

Quote:

I have never said that the young ladies have socially avoided me.

Neither did I.

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@plainoldme,

Quote:

In fact, the Irish writer Ulick O'Connor once wrote that men expect women to be perfectly dressed and coifed without spending a dime but that men forgive their own pimples, beer bellies and bad breath.

The first time I read this I read it as saying, 'Men expect women to be perfectly dressed and coifed without spending a dime but men forgive their pimples, beer bellies and bad breath,' in other words I left out the 'own' so that it was saying that as long as a woman was perfectly dressed and coifed, her pimples, beer belly and bad breath would be forgiven.

And I thought, 'That's pretty democratic of men- comforting to know that might be true.' Laughing

But I think I'm the same way. I would never walk around dirty, but it somehow seems more okay to me for men to do it.
Maybe it's the whole working man syndrome- that a man is more of a man if he gets his hands dirty. And I don't know why I think that - my father wore a suit and tie to work, but I'd be more attracted to a guy that worked in a garden than one who worked in an office and wore a suit all the time. And if his hair is all gelled , etc. etc. - forget it - that'd be a deal breaker. And I could deal with the pimples and a slight beer belly - but not bad breath.

I gave your suggestion to my friend POM. He was regaling me over the phone last night with the Indian character and I told him -' You have got to take this act on the road' - I'm gonna look for an open mic venue for him. He does karaoke contests and WINS!!! (everytime). He actually has a beautiful singing voice.

1 Reply

Quote:

I've often wondered what it must be like to be getting a bit past it and seeing a boy one once had a teenage affair with, but dumped for some other boy, progress up one of the ladders to the point of being rich and famous.

I put it to a woman in a pub once who hadn't experienced it having married her first love and she said she thought it would eat at her heart every minute of the day. That's what she said.

My first love/teen-age affair went on to work for NASA. He was/is a science/math whiz and born again Christian (what a combination, huh?). He also played the guitar and sang.
I loved him dearly, but couldn't do the whole evangelical Christian thing which he insisted had to be done. So that was that.
When the Challenger disaster happened I remember hoping he wasn't involved in it at all -by then he'd become a professor and only did programming for NASA as a side-thing. He was a good person and I knew something like that would be devastating for him to have to live through and deal with if he'd had a part in it.
I have only wished him well through the years and have never regretted my decision. It wouldn't have worked and I think I've had much more fun in my life than I would have had I married him - no matter how successful he is now.
But I knew he'd be successful even back then - that wasn't the point.

And he wasn't classically handsome - though he was endearing looking. He looked like Steve Martin with strawberry blonde hair.

1 Reply

@OmSigDAVID,

Skipping over this arguing, I am fond of Amarcord. I think you might like it, David, but how can I know. One needs to have a certain amount of patience. I watched it with Dys a couple of years ago, when I had gotten it from netflix (I'd seen it probably twice before, but a long time ago).
Diane was out or asleep. Anyway, one scene really got to me (not the famous one).

Stupid as I am, I remember part of what I liked, but not the whole thing.

So, I need to see it again...

Oh, the thread is about personality and looks??

Amarcord can't hurt.

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@plainoldme,

Quote:

What a ridiculous statement.

Do you mean question ?

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@plainoldme,

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I have always stated liberal woman seeks left-leaning man.

Now really, I hardly think it is important which side he dresses on !

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@spendius,

Quote:

Quote:
I have always stated liberal woman seeks left-leaning man.
I dress to the left POM. Does that count?

Damn! Note to self...read all posts before replying to any....(sigh)

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@ossobuco,

ossobuco wrote:

Skipping over this arguing, I am fond of Amarcord. I think you might like it, David, but how can I know. One needs to have a certain amount of patience. I watched it with Dys a couple of years ago, when I had gotten it from netflix (I'd seen it probably twice before, but a long time ago).
Diane was out or asleep. Anyway, one scene really got to me (not the famous one).

Stupid as I am, I remember part of what I liked, but not the whole thing.

So, I need to see it again...

Oh, the thread is about personality and looks??

Amarcord can't hurt.

Thanks for the advice; maybe I 'll rent it.

David

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What do women look for in men Personality or Looks?

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