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Fri 19 Feb, 2010 03:34 pm
Recently, i have seen people whose expressed personal philosophies are not objectionable to me, and whose ideas i usually enjoy, whose opinions i usually respect--post things which were offensive to me. I have not commented, for two reasons. One is that many people seem to think that i never do anything but "attack" other members. That's nonsense, of course and i don't pay any attention to that kind of stupidity, but i also don't need the unnecessary grief.
The other reason i have not commented is that i would not want someone i liked to feel that i had blindsided them. I also would not want them to feel that i had betrayed them in a situation in which they are already dealing with some dick or dickette who deserves to be excoriated. I just don't like what they've posted.
But it preys on my mind. I feel that i am not acting the honorable part. So, i wonder what others would advise that i should do to deal with it.
For your information, i'm going to ignore anyone who comes in here to make snide remarks about me and my behavior, because i value the opinions of most people i see here, and want to read what they say, and not get in a bitch fight with some vindictive idiot. The other thing is to note that there's about a half dozen people here whose posts i never read--and i'm not going to start now. I suspect that they know who they are.
So, please tell me how you would deal with a situation in which you see someone you like and respect posting something which is offensive to the ideas you hold dear.
Oh, and please don't speculate on which members i refer to, or which posts have offended me. That's not what this is about, and i don't intend to mention those things.
@Setanta,
I always like "up your nose with a rubber hose"
Not offensive I wouldn't think.
Why Linkat, you old charm school drop out . . .
@Setanta,
I would hope that most intelligent people would realize that you disagreed and not take it personally - but a b*tch fight is fun too.
And how did you know that I dropped out?
I don't think honor requires you to respond to an offensive remark that was
not addressed to you personally. If so, my own honor is foully besmirched.
Just a lucky guess, Darlin' . . .
This is something which really troubles me, it is an ethical dilemma that i don't know how to deal with.
@George,
That's sensible, George, but how can i, in good conscience, criticize the expressed opinions of others if i do not criticize the expressed opinions of those whom i consider my friends? This is really bugging me because it has happened several times in the last few weeks.
@Setanta,
Seriously though - you could PM them or say you respect them, but disagree with abc.
'K . . . you don't think it would be kind of cheesey to PM those whom i like, while openly criticizing those for whom i don't entertain that respect?
@Setanta,
I think it's possible to address the remark without attacking the person.
"That remark was out of line, IMO" would fit the bill nicely.
Alternately, just thumb down the post.
@Setanta,
Setanta wrote:
That's sensible, George, but how can i, in good conscience, criticize the expressed opinions of others if i do not criticize the expressed opinions of those whom i consider my friends? This is really bugging me because it has happened several times in the last few weeks.
Why couldn't you say something like:
"You know [poster], I usually agree with you, but in this instance I don't. Here's why. [insert why here].
I hope I didn't offend you, if I did I didn't mean to, and I hope this doesn't tarnish our friendship."
If your friends don't understand that friends can have differences in opinions or values.....well, who needs 'em.
@ebrown p,
I don't need any of your gopherist hatefulness . . .
@maporsche,
Thanks, Boss . . . that helps.
@Setanta,
Well I had an occassion where I, along with many others, were reaming this one poor soul. In all our defenses, this person was being unreasonable, but I could tell felt passionately (which resulted in a clouded view) of a partiular item.
I felt bad afterwards and PM'd them.
@Linkat,
You pre-menstrualed some poor sap ? ! ? ! ?
Wimmins is scary . . .
@Setanta,
Nah. She gave him an afternooner.
@Setanta,
You are perfectly free to criticize the opinions of whomever you wish (also
however you wish but that's another matter) if you're criticizing the opinion,
not the expresser of the opinion. If you're criticizing the holder, then yes,
you're showing favoritism, but what of it? You DO favor one over the other.
@Setanta,
Well obviously no one cares about my feelings - so I must not be a friend of any of you all!
So Up Up your nose with a rubber hose.
Stumble It!
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