Set, if you two are talkin' on the net, you're not talking at home. And if you are talking at home, you're not listening to ehBeth. Why would she take the risk of opening this up to others if there wasn't a PROBLEM that she could see.
You aren't looking for advice, you're looking for some sort of support that can't really come from anyone who is being honest, you know, the theme of this thread.
I have been known to pre-attack and I'm ready and willing to admit it. Why? Honesty demands it, not to mention that it's so damn apparent to anyone with a functioning brain. In this we are much alike.
Be honest with yourself in every respect, big fella. It's not such a bad thing.
Loyalty is defined by someone who will not lie to their partner. Loyalty is helping a partner see their foibles and helping them through them.