Online dating, flirting and dating burn-out.

He hehehehe...Im thinking it could work well in the work environment also

What . . . you meet my coworkers and I meet yours? Oh, wait, I don't have any co-workers.

I caceled my date tonight, rather last-minute too. Poor Chris. I feel rotten about it, which sux because I canceled for feeling awful in the first place.

I get tired of being alone sometimes too Lilk, but I'm older I think. I could try to Hook you up with some fisherman here that actually can read and write if you like ;-)

i've been having some fond memories of the 'spares' i met through the trader party - my friend cindy and i had a lot of fun with two of the guys. they were alitalia stewards, in town for 2 nights every 2nd week, great escorts - we went to the best restaurants, theatre, dance performances. It was the only time in my life that i carried a beaded bag for my after work shoes. i couldn't maintain the lifestyle now - dogs to take care of, you know, but those were really good times.

mikey - that's nice, but I may be done dating for a while. I bought the fishermen of cape cod calendar last year. I gave it to a friend, but I perused it first.

My sternman is on the front page leaning on the bull rake in Wellfleet lol...we fondly call him goldilocks...missed a live one there kiddo.

Done dating? You called off a date tonight and now you're done dating. What's happened?

Reallllly, mikey, he's taken? Not that I remember who you're talking about.

Beth, for now. I hid my profile. I'm in for the night. I'll see this guy sunday. On tuesday I'll see the guy I missed tonight. Then, that's it for now. I'm already burnt out. This is why your method of dating doesn't work for me.

my method of 'dating' is to not date. i find it less stressful that way.

Though this is not in any sense original advice, littlek, I can tell you that for me (aside from a lovely recent experience) I have met my relationship partners either at parties (friends, friends of friends) or in those social situations where folks are thrust together (summer softball, university classes, ski club trips, etc). ehBeth said something earlier which has been true for me...that folks tend to come along when one is not looking. I've actually never done on-line dating or even a blind date and it's hard to imagine how a more anxiety or judgement producing way to meet someone. But if you are just doing something that is fun for you with others who find it fun as well, I think that makes for a rather more relaxed way of getting to survey and know others.

Friends FIRST...then go from there,,, No expectations. Otherwise you set yourself up for dissapointment.

{{{Hugs}}}

Big Hugs for Little K -- I hope you're feeling better, very very soon!

Dating sounds awful. Can you just find somebody you like without dating 'em???

Ditto and ditto and ditto.

The few times i 'dated', it was as horrible as it always seemed on The Mary Tyler Moore show, but without a laugh track.

Going to parties with friends, having a good time working in someone's garden, going to a park to hike with buddies, laughing with a group of people, that's the best way of meeting wonderful people - making new friends - and maybe, finding someone to have a relationship with. If not, you've still had a good time, and made some new friends.

The relationship without the friendship never worked for me. That's why i advocated just 'meeting' people, without intent to 'date'. It would put too much pressure on each meeting - no one would look good to me in those circumstances. The first date would always end up being the last one. And that would be just too frustrating.

So, go to the grocery store, maybe you'll meet the guy i met before i met Setanta. He was great, and he's looking!

Well, I went for years without dating. I mean 4 or 5 years without a relationship with any real depth or reality. I have spent a lot of time alone. I had a nice arrangement for a few months this past year, but it dwindled to nothing. There was no 'relationship' to it, really.

I am a nanny. I don't have co-workers. I live in a city full of young singles, but I don't meet them. That's the problem. I've only got a couple friends, in 'real life'.

And gawd knows I've been to the grocery store thousands of times.

little k...I used to chum with a group of Australian nannies here in Vancouver...what a great crowd.

Are you free evening? weekends? Why not throw yourself into some night school classes in something which you are interested in? Cooking perhaps, or photography, etc. Or you could search out athletic venues, like badminton clubs, which usually meet two nights or so a week. And there will be lots of those sorts of activities in Boston.

Mulling.

Most of the people that i spent time with, in and out of relationships, through my 20's and into my late 30's, were the people i went to university with. A group of us came to 'the big city' after graduation, found each other again over a few years, and became sort of each other's extended families, as none of us had family here. I've always had a couple of friends from each job that i 'kept', but it really is my old university crowd that friendships/relationships developed through. People would bring co-workers along to bbq's etc, so the crowd got a bit bigger over the years, and some relationships came out of that for some people.

Even the 'trader' party came out of that uni group.

It really wasn't until I was nearly 40 and broke up with my s.o. (we met on our first day at university), that i really branched out.

I still get together with a few of that group, and i know that if they knew Setanta won't be here at New Year's, they'd expect me to be at T. and G.'s annual party.

blatham's got a point about the courses, tho i'd be nervous about 'interest' courses. I hear that it can be a bit of a dating minefield. I met some interesting men when I did some post-grad work. We were there for 'serious' academic reasons, and really got to know each other while studying and working on cases. If I'd been available, there could have been some hmmmm options.

Dating's horrid. I don't think online dating's any better or worse, it's still dating.

Making friends is better. Too bad Boots' isn't a more social dog. I was just thinking that I've met some nice people taking Bailey to the park. Some of them were/are very nice men, that i became friendly with.

oh, and golfing. There are some super men to be met on the golf course. You do have to like golf for that to make sense.

ehBeth

Yes, our experiences seem quite close. By night school courses, I meant that broad range of activities available through local school boards, from athletics to basket weaving to learning stand up comedy to academics like achaeology. As these courses run about three months, beginning quarterly, little k is perfectly set right now to see what starts in January there in Boston. Little k, if you have any trouble finding this information, let me know.

Yeah, in this area your job is not your best friend. When it comes to meeting people -- most everybody you see is prolly about 6 years old, max! And if the kids are with you, most people prolly think you're the mom, therefore "off limits" somehow.

Wouldn't it be fun if there were badminton clubs in Boston? But ... would manly men be playing badminton??? (No offense, Blatham, I'm sure you ooze manliness, but guys down here are more likely to be playing soccer or tennis or rugby.) I personally love to play a gentle game of badminton.

Maybe Mikey would have an opinion on badminton clubs. MIKEY!!!
Frankly, I think you ought to consider a casual meeting with fisherguys on the Cape -- with Mikey pointing out ahead of time which ones don't read or write.

I am TOTALLY opposed to lane bowling for my own self, but I understand some people like it and meet weekly to play. Maybe that's more of the "Badminton Club" style appropriate in the lower 48.

Just remember, we love ya, K. Something good will happen.

Love them Aussies!

I can't afford to spend money to socialize. I'm sure there's some sort of club I'd enjoy that's free, but it hasn't run into me yet.