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So my sister is getting married, but...

 
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Thu 8 Jan, 2009 10:48 pm
@Bi-Polar Bear,
(breathing free a bit. Stuff is not always a slam dunk, though, so I'm wishing sis well on moving on.)
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Thu 8 Jan, 2009 10:49 pm
@squinney,
squinney wrote:

Well, the wedding is off. She called this morning. Very sad.

Some of the things she said (thanks for supporting me, I know I had to learn it on my own, etc)
made me think she had seen this thread.

I'm sad for her, but somewhat relieved.
She deserves someone that loves her.

Thanks everyone for your advice. You really helped.

I 'd be a lot less than honest
if I did not say that CONGRATULATIONS are in order
for the removal of an unduly dangerous situation.

In my humble opinion, this was the best possible outcome
in the circumstances that u described.

I hope that her boyfriend is not resentful.
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Thu 8 Jan, 2009 10:53 pm
@Bi-Polar Bear,
Bi-Polar Bear wrote:

She's definitely better off without this guy.... squinney's sister and I aren't exactly close....
but I wouldn't wish him on her or anyone else.

That 's very understandable.
0 Replies
 
eoe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 8 Jan, 2009 10:54 pm
I hope sister can stay strong and eventually know that she's better off.
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Thu 8 Jan, 2009 10:55 pm
There r a lot of guys out there.
Some of them r not crazy.
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Thu 8 Jan, 2009 10:58 pm
Whew!

I know she must be hurting, but truthfully...I think she dodged a bullet.

I'm sure she doesn't see it that way yet, though. I bet he was the one who called it off. Right?
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Thu 8 Jan, 2009 11:02 pm
@Eva,
Eva wrote:

Whew!

I know she must be hurting, but truthfully...I think she dodged a bullet.

I'm sure she doesn't see it that way yet, though.

I bet he was the one who called it off. Right?

Y do u think that, Eva ?
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Thu 8 Jan, 2009 11:09 pm
Because he's a control freak, and he's easily offended.
roger
 
  1  
Reply Thu 8 Jan, 2009 11:34 pm
@squinney,
Every once in awhile, we get some good news.
0 Replies
 
Bi-Polar Bear
 
  1  
Reply Fri 9 Jan, 2009 12:02 am
@Eva,
actually, to her credit...she called it off or so I'm told. He started some of his **** and the light came on.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Fri 9 Jan, 2009 12:08 am
@Bi-Polar Bear,
Very good, re his **** timing.
0 Replies
 
Bi-Polar Bear
 
  1  
Reply Fri 9 Jan, 2009 12:20 am
I'm not trying to be uncharitable and she has sworn up and down to squinney this won't happen....but if by next week the wedding was back on it wouldn't surprise me. If she cries wolf enough...her family will not come to the wedding and this guy will have what he probably wanted all along...to marry her and isolate her at the same time. Both squinney and me hope that's not the case. As alway, she is more optimistic than I. I sincerely hope her optimism wins the day, if for no other reason than the fact squinney will never desert her sister even if everyone else does and then she's open to being taken advantage of in a thankless situation..... which will give me a near stroke. Squinney can handle all her own problems but I still get raving mad when I feel someone is trying to take advantage of or disrespect her.

We'll see...... as the Zen master said.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Fri 9 Jan, 2009 01:21 am
@Bi-Polar Bear,
Gotcha.

Ai, chihuahua.






I'll admit I'm not from mexico. That was a comment that I took to heart. Fill in preferred comment.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Fri 9 Jan, 2009 05:05 am
Zen. Hope the wedding stays off.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Fri 9 Jan, 2009 06:41 am
Let's hope that light that came on stays on.
0 Replies
 
Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Fri 9 Jan, 2009 07:52 am
@Bi-Polar Bear,
Bear, You're a social guy who gets around. Don't you know any suitable bachelors that could take her out for dinner and distract her? Maybe something good will come of it.

(I can't help suggesting this, my Jewish Yenta blood calls out for a matchmaking intervention.)
0 Replies
 
squinney
 
  1  
Reply Fri 9 Jan, 2009 08:25 am
In my opinion, which is just a little bit above worthless, the last thing she needs is a date.

I expressed to her yesterday that since she has the settlement money coming it would be a great time for her to get a place of her own, be independent and learn to live with herself. She has tended to go from one bad situation to another, always the healthier mind in each pairing and thinking she can "help" them.

Time to "help" herself.

She agreed, and I hope she will follow through.

She's made of tuff stuff, so I have no doubts she'll come through this side step in life with little damage.
Butrflynet
 
  1  
Reply Fri 9 Jan, 2009 08:42 am
@squinney,
Dedicated to little sisters every where....

0 Replies
 
Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Fri 9 Jan, 2009 09:02 am
@squinney,
I didn't know she wasn't fully independent. I just assumed that at her age it was a given. I agree, Squinney, that should always be the priority.

Butterfly, that looks like my barn raising from two years ago.
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Fri 9 Jan, 2009 10:15 am
@Bi-Polar Bear,
Bi-Polar Bear wrote:

I'm not trying to be uncharitable and she has sworn up and down to squinney this won't happen....but if by next week the wedding was back on it wouldn't surprise me. If she cries wolf enough...her family will not come to the wedding and this guy will have what he probably wanted all along...to marry her and isolate her at the same time. Both squinney and me hope that's not the case. As alway, she is more optimistic than I. I sincerely hope her optimism wins the day, if for no other reason than the fact squinney will never desert her sister even if everyone else does and then she's open to being taken advantage of in a thankless situation..... which will give me a near stroke. Squinney can handle all her own problems but I still get raving mad when I feel someone is trying to take advantage of or disrespect her.

We'll see...... as the Zen master said.

Your points r very well taken.

The history of this type of predatory mentality being what it is,
it may be expected that control freak will return in a few days, tactically armed with profuse apologies,
admissions of guilt, much praise, declarations of love, assurances of good conduct and hope for the future.

Is it possible that sister can take a fairly distant vacation for a while ?

at an undisclosed location ?





David
0 Replies
 
 

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