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Is this unfair? Or just me

 
 
Reply Wed 3 Aug, 2016 03:33 am
Been holding this in for years , thought might as well finally write this somewhere to see whether it's just a me or not thing.
(Would be little long)

So..there's another sibling and I in this family. Both adopted from different family.
My father's long gone. Only mom left.
So this mom , to me , she strongly favors my other sibling. Although she always claims she loves us equally , only until round 2 months ago did she finally admit she has a fav , which is my other sibling.

Now for the detail part , back during my elementary school days , she gave me some rules like ,
- No listening to music during weekdays
(claimed that me listening to music might disturb the neighbours , but even when I switched to earphones I'm still not allowed to)
- No Tv , No Computers
- No going to bed over 1 in the morning.

All I'm suppose to do is simply sit at the table and study.
I love drawing , only way I can best express my feelings , and when she finds me doing that while not studying my homework , she'll ask " Do you want me to throw away all your drawings as well? "

If any of this rule is broken , she'll add in punishment like No "all of the mentioned above" for the weekends too. If I even as much try any of it , she'll keep prolonging to next week and on.

Now , when it came to my sibling. None of these rules exist. She got her a radio , mp3 , even an ipad. No internet online restrictions what-so-ever.

When I confronted her asking what's with this big difference in treatment. The only best reply she came up with was "oh , cause your sibling has talent in music"


Now going to another incident. This one's very major for me personally , still could never forgive her about it.
I'm more to an art person. And to her , Art = waste of time = artist = poor. I was having doubts about my own passion as I never quite see that she acknowledge what I'm good at.
So there's this once where there was a competition where you're given an hour plus to draw the theme given on the spot. My mom told me I should join it.
To me , I made myself a little promised that should my work not get even a consolation prize rank , I will drop art. It just means I got my thoughts on what I think I was good at wrong.
In the end , I won the first prize that day. My mom seem happy about it when they last announced the winner , her face was surprised as I knew she never thought I would get that place. But it doesn't matter for me , the first place stuff. What I was glad about is that I can still continue my passion and perhaps this is where my mom will start to acknowledge my art talent more too.
But that kind of happy thought only lasted a while. Later on as some of my classmates failed some subjects and our whole class has to defer for one semester in my college. For me it was fine , just means I get more time to improve my drawings at home. But my mom wasn't pleased with that. So , she went over and complained about it to my tutors. And in one of her complains she stated that "So my kid is wasting time drawing all day at home" , to my tutors , in an art school. Even my tutor had that "wth" face when she smacked that to him. I just kept quiet as it was extremely humiliating.
And there I start to think back on what happened to being happy that I won first place in the art competition the other day? Now we're going right back to my passion being a waste of time crap again?

And in general , Villain vs Hero. Usually before any explanation or trying to find out which is which , she'll always dump me into the Villain list.
There are times I'm the one at wrong , and the other times it's my sibling. But whatever the case is , even before she starts checking , she'll just drop the blame on me.
For instance (this is only one of the many others the other) one day when she decided to bang my door open , barged into my room and yelled at me for something I didn't do. When I kept insisting it wasn't me , she said "oh look at that , the more you talk back , the more chances it's you!"
But later on , she came around and said "oh well , sorry wasn't you , it was your sibling"
Later on she'll keep acting as if what she did was like nothing. But I decided I just want to ignore her for a few days as I'm really upset and pissed whenever she does that.
Then she'll go around demanding whether I've downloaded her movies for her and stuffs the very day. When I said no or ignore her she'll get mad and threaten that she'll cut the internet or drop the internet speed if I don't do it for her.
I can't really be taken by any of her threats by now , I just went and reply , "go ahead then , that's what you do best right"
And I'm really wondering also , why should it always have to be to do things for her , why not her other favorite child?
Things I've done before I never felt appreciated for it. Things I've talent it are never really acknowledged either.

Thanks for reading up to this point. There's more but I'm just going to leave it at that.

So.. back to the main question.. is it just me?
 
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Wed 3 Aug, 2016 04:16 am
@Outsider-01,
So, she's horrible.

What are you going to do?

Can you live with someone else? Stick it out until you're eighteen?

What's your sibling's take on all of this? You may find they aren't happy, either.
Outsider-01
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Aug, 2016 04:25 am
@jespah,
My sibling? No issue. She gets almost everything.
She also says all she like for she knows mom will always have her back. She also goes out a lot , even when returns late , doesn't really gets any punishment either.
Punishment and blame are usually 90% on me.
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Wed 3 Aug, 2016 04:30 am
@Outsider-01,
That doesn't answer my question.

Your spoiled sibling still might not be happy. Maybe try having a relationship of some sort with them. Even if it's just for the three years or six months or two days or whatever until you can leave.

And in the meantime, find a relative to live with if you can. If you can't, keep your head down and deal unless it's full-blown abuse. Yes, your mother is being unfair to you. Fine, we've established that. But there's little you can do about an unevenness of privilege.
Outsider-01
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Aug, 2016 11:39 am
@jespah,
We don't talk. Not that we like each other either. Sibling's rude and disrespectful but always got away with it cause my mom always covers for my sibling.
Happy or not I'm not sure , but I'm sure my sibling's not the one who have to always feel as if he/she is forever getting the short end of the stick.
ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Wed 3 Aug, 2016 11:48 am
@Outsider-01,
You're in college. Are you working part-time/full-time as well?

Save your money and move out.

You can't change your mother or your sibling. The only thing you can do is change how you react to them - and whether you live/interact with them.
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