Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

The census man asks the farmers wife how many children she has.

Well I've got one in the cot that SUCKING, one in the hen house who's PLUCKING, two in the corn field SHUCKING, one with his father gone TRUCKING, and one who just got married.

The police chief of Scot Squad apologizes for making offensive remarks to everyone from the Chinese to the birds.
You can't directly post YouTube videos anymore, but here is the URL.
https://youtu.be/NBGOryiqZZI

(you still can, but you need the full url with "youtube.com", not the shortened one with "youtu.be".
i got the full url by clicking on your link in a web browser...)

What are you doing there young man
Why are you playing in that slop
On this bright and sunny Sunday after noon
And what’s that pile of cow dung for
Asked the friendly local cop
I see you mixing it with mud with that there spoon

Yea, dat’s cos I’m making statues
And it stiffens up me mud
It helps to keep me statues all in shape
That’s a statue of the butcher
And that one there’s the priest
And now I’m finking of anovher one to make.

Well now then said the friendly cop
What if I should pose
Would you model one of me, I’ll pay for it
Well I guess so said young Johnny
But you’ll have to wait awhile
Cos I got to get a bigger pile of ****......The Anointed.

Thanks, I've been wondering about that for a while.

it's also possible (but difficult) to build the full url based on the shortened one...

https://youtu.be/NBGOryiqZZI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBGOryiqZZI

1) change youtu.be to www . youtube.com (no spaces)

2) add watch?v= in front of the video's unique code

It works! Thanks!

I kissed her on her dimple in the darkness
And I ain’t saying where that dimple was
But it certainly made her hum
When I kissed her on herrrr
Dimple as we waited for the morning light to come

Then I kissed her on another of her dimples
Cos she’s got little dimples every where
And it thrilled her all to bits
When I kissed her on herrrrr
Dimple in the garden ‘neath the sunrise with me lips

She’s got dimples in places no one sees
And her little heart was pumping fiercely
When I said I’d kiss the lot
But when I kissed her on that Dimple (Phew) me nose began to wrinkle
And mate,-- that’s where the kissing had to stop.

My father killed thousands which is why he got kicked out of the catering corps.

Tim Snyder speaks: the evil of America first.

Why owls don't show their legs