205
   

Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

 
 
The Anointed
 
  0  
Reply Sun 14 Nov, 2021 07:32 pm
@Phoenix32890,
Reminds me of the bloke in a Victorian pub, who referred to Tasmanian women as either Prostitutes, lesbians, or AFL Players, when this monster of a man walks up and says; "My wife happens to be a Tasmanian ya grub," and without missing a beat, the bloke looks up into the face of the monster and says; "Fairdinkum mate, what team does she play for?"
The Anointed
 
  -1  
Reply Tue 16 Nov, 2021 08:25 pm
@The Anointed,
The census man asks the farmers wife how many children she has.

Well I've got one in the cot that SUCKING, one in the hen house who's PLUCKING, two in the corn field SHUCKING, one with his father gone TRUCKING, and one who just got married.






0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  2  
Reply Fri 19 Nov, 2021 04:52 pm

https://iili.io/5vV2kJ.jpg
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  3  
Reply Sun 21 Nov, 2021 06:57 am

https://iili.io/5SR3zX.jpg
0 Replies
 
coluber2001
 
  1  
Reply Mon 22 Nov, 2021 10:38 am
The police chief of Scot Squad apologizes for making offensive remarks to everyone from the Chinese to the birds.
You can't directly post YouTube videos anymore, but here is the URL.
https://youtu.be/NBGOryiqZZI
Region Philbis
 
  1  
Reply Mon 22 Nov, 2021 05:19 pm
@coluber2001,
Quote:
You can't directly post YouTube videos anymore, but here is the URL
(you still can, but you need the full url with "youtube.com", not the shortened one with "youtu.be".
i got the full url by clicking on your link in a web browser...)




Code:[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBGOryiqZZI[/youtube]
The Anointed
 
  -1  
Reply Mon 22 Nov, 2021 05:41 pm
@Region Philbis,
What are you doing there young man
Why are you playing in that slop
On this bright and sunny Sunday after noon
And what’s that pile of cow dung for
Asked the friendly local cop
I see you mixing it with mud with that there spoon

Yea, dat’s cos I’m making statues
And it stiffens up me mud
It helps to keep me statues all in shape
That’s a statue of the butcher
And that one there’s the priest
And now I’m finking of anovher one to make.

Well now then said the friendly cop
What if I should pose
Would you model one of me, I’ll pay for it
Well I guess so said young Johnny
But you’ll have to wait awhile
Cos I got to get a bigger pile of ****......The Anointed.
0 Replies
 
coluber2001
 
  2  
Reply Tue 23 Nov, 2021 08:41 am
0 Replies
 
coluber2001
 
  1  
Reply Wed 24 Nov, 2021 12:36 pm
0 Replies
 
coluber2001
 
  1  
Reply Wed 24 Nov, 2021 12:49 pm
0 Replies
 
coluber2001
 
  2  
Reply Wed 24 Nov, 2021 01:07 pm
@Region Philbis,
Thanks, I've been wondering about that for a while.
Region Philbis
 
  1  
Reply Thu 25 Nov, 2021 07:22 am
@coluber2001,

it's also possible (but difficult) to build the full url based on the shortened one...

https://youtu.be/NBGOryiqZZI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBGOryiqZZI

1) change youtu.be to www . youtube.com (no spaces)

2) add watch?v= in front of the video's unique code
coluber2001
 
  2  
Reply Thu 25 Nov, 2021 08:28 am
@Region Philbis,
It works! Thanks!
The Anointed
 
  -3  
Reply Thu 25 Nov, 2021 10:26 pm
@coluber2001,
I kissed her on her dimple in the darkness
And I ain’t saying where that dimple was
But it certainly made her hum
When I kissed her on herrrr
Dimple as we waited for the morning light to come

Then I kissed her on another of her dimples
Cos she’s got little dimples every where
And it thrilled her all to bits
When I kissed her on herrrrr
Dimple in the garden ‘neath the sunrise with me lips

She’s got dimples in places no one sees
And her little heart was pumping fiercely
When I said I’d kiss the lot
But when I kissed her on that Dimple (Phew) me nose began to wrinkle
And mate,-- that’s where the kissing had to stop.
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  3  
Reply Sat 27 Nov, 2021 05:01 am
https://i.pinimg.com/564x/77/34/1c/77341c6cc4164cb7c1c858a02cfc3cae.jpg
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  3  
Reply Sat 27 Nov, 2021 05:25 am
https://i.pinimg.com/564x/73/e1/51/73e151c0a6b6ca11a42dfcfa23297f92.jpg
izzythepush
 
  3  
Reply Sat 27 Nov, 2021 05:33 am
@hingehead,
My father killed thousands which is why he got kicked out of the catering corps.
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  2  
Reply Sat 27 Nov, 2021 05:47 am

https://iili.io/5POHHG.jpg
0 Replies
 
coluber2001
 
  1  
Reply Sat 27 Nov, 2021 12:51 pm
Tim Snyder speaks: the evil of America first.

0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  3  
Reply Sat 27 Nov, 2021 08:32 pm
https://i.pinimg.com/564x/d0/a6/9d/d0a69d14c5e97cf1fd531cdcfa181b1d.jpg
0 Replies
 
 

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