<I'm a sucker for this crap>
Little Mexican kid (having read about Pancho Villa in his history/civics class):
"Gran-pappito, deed you eevar geet to meet Pancho VILLA, who was the worstest bandito in all of Mexico?"
Old man sitting on rocker on varenda:
"You know, dat question takes me back... I was about feefteen years old an I was walkin across de desert weef de two leetle burritos all loaded weef corn to sell de corn at de market, an come a beeg clouda dust an up come Pancho Villa an about feefteen or twentya hees banditos, an he gotta beeg beer belly an bullet belts goin across de beer belly boof ways ana beeg ceegar een hees mouf, an he pull outta peestol an point de peestol at one-a-da leedle burritos, an say: 'Hookay burro, SHEET!!', an de leetle burro was plenty scared so he sheet hisself, an dan he point de peestol at me an he say: 'Hookay, peone, now YOU gonna EEEET de burro sheet!' an he laf plenty hard...
"CARAMBA, gran-pappito, what deed you do?"
"I was plenty scared, so I eet de burro s**t, taste plenty bad, an den a beeg gust of wind come up an blow de sand in Pancho Villa's face so he canna see, an he drop de peestol, an I grab de peestol an point de peestol at Pancho Villa's horse, an say: 'Hokay, horse, SHEEET!' an he do dat, an den I point de peestol at Pancho Villa an say: 'Hokay meester beeg shot bandito, now you gonna EEEEET de horse sheet, an I mean every bite, an not leev nottin left over!!', an Pancho Villa was plenty scared so he do jus dat, an de odder banditos laff plenty hard...
An so my leedle fren, you ask me eef I eevar geet to meet Pancho VILLA, who was the worstest bandito in all of Mexico? WHY, we had LUNCH togeddar!!!!!"
There are many trees in the forest.
<suckers, did that cure you?>
lilk My daughter is/was a past master of the knock knock joke that did not work.
JL ........whos there?
Which one were you guilty of, JLNobody?
Oh Sh*t (I'm the sucker)
This one is from my daughters "knock knock period"
"Hey dad knock knock"
dad: mountain who?
daugh: mountain over the back fence
Okay. Who who who who who.
Here's one my daughter loved when she was about 5 - notice how they tell it over and over? lol
Mickey Mouse's underwear!
A colony of ants was climbing up onto an elephants head,
and when the elephant shook himself, all but one ant fell off.
That poor ant held on for dear life on the elephant's neck
when all the fallen ants screamed: "Kill him, Egon, kill him!!"
I'm surprised that no one has come up with any awful light-bulb jokes yet. You know -- "how many [insert name here] does it take to change a light bulb?"
Okay. I'll go first. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the bulb hast got to really want to change.
So, now my question though: how many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?