197
   

Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

 
 
cherrie
 
  5  
Reply Mon 9 Nov, 2020 12:44 am
Our local hospital is having trouble getting maternity nurses.

They're having a midwife crisis.
izzythepush
 
  3  
Reply Mon 9 Nov, 2020 02:28 am
@cherrie,
When I went on my first date with my wife she brought Sean Connery along as a chaperone. I could feel this bond between us.
0 Replies
 
Frank Apisa
 
  5  
Reply Sat 14 Nov, 2020 10:36 am
Wife: Have I gotten fat during the quarantine?

Husband: You weren't really skinny to begin with.

Time of Death: 11:00pm.

Cause: Covid.



0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  2  
Reply Mon 16 Nov, 2020 06:01 am
When I first started working at a school I mistakenly used the pupil’s toilets instead of the staff one.

I’m too old for this ****.
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  5  
Reply Tue 17 Nov, 2020 05:59 pm

https://i.imgur.com/FQH5EYc.jpg
0 Replies
 
Frank Apisa
 
  3  
Reply Wed 18 Nov, 2020 06:16 am
When you sneeze, why do people say, "Goes in tight?"
Region Philbis
 
  2  
Reply Wed 18 Nov, 2020 06:47 am
@Frank Apisa,

i dunno, but it always "comes out loose"...
0 Replies
 
lmur
 
  3  
Reply Fri 20 Nov, 2020 10:58 am
This is neither funny nor bad but nowhere else to put it so...

Knock. knock.
Who's there?
To.
To who?
It's 'to whom'.
Region Philbis
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Nov, 2020 11:50 am
@lmur,

maybe on the pet peeves thread?

https://able2know.org/topic/21607-1
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  2  
Reply Fri 20 Nov, 2020 03:43 pm
@lmur,
It is to funny.
0 Replies
 
Builder
 
  1  
Reply Sat 21 Nov, 2020 06:40 am
I still don't understand why there is Braille on drive up ATM's or why "abbreviated" is such a long word;
0 Replies
 
hightor
 
  1  
Reply Sat 21 Nov, 2020 07:00 am
An irritable old sportsman was aroused from his bed at three o'clock in the morning by the insistent ringing of his doorbell. On answering he found a seedy drunkard struggling hard to maintain his equilibrium.

"What do you mean by waking me up at this hour?"

"Ish you Mr. Smithers?"

"Yes, yes. What of it?"

"Ish you the gent what advertised for a partner to go lion huntin' in Africa?"

"Yer, I'm the gentleman. What do you want to know about it?"

"Nuthin', 'ceptin' I just wanted to tell you that on no condishuns whatsoever will I go with you."
Walter Hinteler
 
  5  
Reply Sat 21 Nov, 2020 07:15 am
@hightor,
What is green and jumps from bed to bed?

A frogstitute.
izzythepush
 
  5  
Reply Sat 21 Nov, 2020 10:23 am
From Viz letters.

A mate of mine told me you have to put your headlights on when it’s raining in Sweden.


How the **** am I supposed to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  3  
Reply Sun 22 Nov, 2020 07:19 am

https://i.imgur.com/Euz17ED.jpg
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  4  
Reply Mon 23 Nov, 2020 04:30 pm
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock knock joke?

He won the nobell prize
0 Replies
 
BillW
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 Nov, 2020 01:09 am
@Walter Hinteler,
Walter Hinteler wrote:

What is green and jumps from bed to bed?

A frogstitute.

Walter, what is the punchline to this joke in German?
0 Replies
 
Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 Nov, 2020 06:28 am
Did ja hear about the plastic surgeon who hung himself?
0 Replies
 
BillW
 
  1  
Reply Sun 29 Nov, 2020 02:02 am
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.



I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
0 Replies
 
 

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