Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

A priest, a minister and a Rabbit walk into a blood bank.

The rabbit says...... I think I might be a type o.

A good old Aussie bloke was standing at a bar when a beautiful woman came up beside him, so he leans over and says, "You remind me of my little toe"
She replies, "What?... You mean I'm small and cute?"

He says "No, I mean I`ll probably bang you on the coffee table later when I'm drunk"

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is a heavy mammal and one is a little lighter.

I really like that one Phoenix!

My wife told me that 'sex is better on holidays.'

True perhaps, but still the worse postcard I've ever got.

'Thank you Santa! A donor heart that's a perfect match! This is the best Christmas present ever!'

She rang her twin sister to share the good news. No answer.

Daddy what's a transvestite?

- Ask Mommy, he knows.

What is cold and stands under a street lamp?

- A frostitute.

first I laughed, then I felt a little ashamed of myself, then I laughed again......I'm going to hell.

Keep a seat warm for me.

Due to the pandemic, you can only get in if you make a personal reservation online.



I've got my ticket already.

One Trump supporter is bad enough. Two Trump supporters can't be found. Three Trump supporters is all it takes to make the world retarded

If you can't find two around here, you are either not reading much or you're very new.

The only thing worse than COVID is being a Trump supporter. At least COVID knows how to kill fast. Trump supporters kill like AIDS, slow and annoying.

How many Trump supporters does it take to eradicate COVID?

Hopefully all of them

What whines about life not being fair more than your kids?

Trump supporters

You really are sticking to the spirit of this thread. I must congratulate you

I was going to post something of that sort, but better to just get this thing back on track:

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender..."Gimme a whiskey and...ahhh...ahhh...

...ummm...soda.

Bartender asks, "Why the long pause?"

Bear answers, "I dunno...I was born with 'em."

Later that night, the same bear lurched towards the bar-counter and drunkenly said 'gimme a whiskey and....ahm....soda.'

The barman refused. 'You've had enough. Go home, my furry friend.'

Enraged, the bear sank his teeth into the counter, removing a large chunk. 'WHISKEY AND....AHM...SODA NOW!' he roared.

'Sorry,' said the barman, 'I don't serve drunken bears that take drugs.'

'Whaddya mean? Take drugs. I don't take drugs.'

'You don't?' Replied the barmen. 'What about that bar bit you ate?'