@vonny,
Are you working your way through the Australian states Von? First Tas, now WA. I'll bet the queenslander joke is a hoot.
@hingehead,
Oops - sorry! But I don't write them ... change the states to English counties if you prefer it that way
@hingehead,
Two Queenslanders sit down at a bar with a full-length mirror behind it.
One fellow spots a couple of friends at the other end of the bar, gets up and says "Let's go join those two fellows"
His mate replies
"Never mind, looks like they're leaving"
@vonny,
Quote:change the states to English counties if you prefer it that way
No that won't work - they won't be as funny out of context.
@hingehead,
hinge, They were so bad, I copied only half of them!
A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.
She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret. She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.
She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible...
No wait...Sorry...I'm thinking of beer. That's what beer does...
Never mind.
My wife was in the bathroom trying on a new dress. "Be honest," she said, " does my bum look big in this?"
"Be fair, " I replied, "it is a small bathroom."
A young New York woman was so depressed that one night she decided to end her life by
throwing herself into the ocean. Just before she could leap from the docks, a handsome
young man stopped her.
"You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we leave for Italy tomorrow.
I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep
you happy."
With nothing to lose, and having always wanted to go to Italy, the woman accepted.
Under the cover of darkness, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but
comfortable compartment in the ship’s hold.
From then on, every night he would bring her sandwiches and a bottle of red wine, and
he would make love with her for hours.
A week later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.
"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied.
"He brings me food, and I get a free trip to Italy."
"I see," the captain says.
Her conscience got the best of her, and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Staten Island Ferry..."
***
@Region Philbis,
I love that joke, I know I've heard it before but I never remember until the Staten Island Ferry is mentioned.
@Region Philbis,
That joke is so old I had totally forgotten the punch line and cracked up when I came to it.
What do you call a robot's climax?
An oilgasm. ;D
@One Eyed Mind,
Now that's what I call
slick humor!
That joke is so corny, I say, "Quick, Anthony! Wish One Eyed Mind into the cornfield!"
@wmwcjr,
You writing that just made my brain think of something funny.
I got the image of people in the corn field creating crop circles to subconsciously reflect on their circle-jerking lifestyle.
Aliens? Nah, those are called ideas, young grass hopper. Now hop away from the corn field, you envious, green devil you!
@wmwcjr,
wmwcjr wrote:
That joke is so corny, I say, "Quick, Anthony! Wish One Eyed Mind into the cornfield!"
That's a good thing wmwcjr, that's a Real good thing.
@One Eyed Mind,
Did you get the doggy treats I left for you at
http://able2know.org/topic/250109-22#post-5762315 ?
I am flattered that you all envy me so much unconsciously, that you've legitimately convinced yourself that ganging up on me is a great way of showing your disapproval of my presence.
