Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

That would be a stereotypical uneducated black person would say "Hold the door"

It's an accent thing.

I'm glad it was snood that told that one.

Well I was a long way off - thanks Andy - now it makes it sense. I'm crap at cryptic crosswords too.

As Chai said, good thing it was snood who posted that. Coming from any white man it would sound vaguely racist, i.e. making fun of a black person's accent.

Actress Betty White, 92, Dyes Peacefully In Her Los Angeles Home
Posted on September 3, 2014 by Bob The Empire News Potato in Entertainment, Headlines

LOS ANGELES, California

In a press release from her long-time manager Jeff Witjas, it has been confirmed today that actress Betty White, best known for her roles on TVs The Mary Tyler Moore Show, The Golden Girls, and Hot in Cleveland, is not a natural blonde.

“Betty is a solitary kind of person,” said Witjas. “She likes to relax in her home with her animals, and she rarely likes to discuss the fact, at least in public, that she is actually a brunette. She has been dying her own hair in her home for decades. Betty has often told me she feels it is relaxing and soothing to dye her own hair, peacefully in her home, where she can laugh and enjoy time with her animals. She’s said on more than one occasion that as a blonde, she has had ‘more fun’ in her roles, and in life.”

“Oh, I started dying it ages ago when my color started to fade away to a more whiteish, greyish color,” says White. “I thought to myself, ‘Well Betty, if you can’t have the dark color anymore, might as well try on the blonde for a while,’ and it just kind of stuck. When I played Rose on Girls, the joke about my natural hair color made it into several episodes. I’ve always had a sense of humor about it.”

Early pictures of White with her husband of almost 20 years, Allen Ludden, who died in 1981 of stomach cancer, show White as a sultry brunette with a perfect smile.

“Oh Allen loved my dark hair, but later on, as I started to go grey and my hair lightened, he liked the blonde, too. It would be too much work to go back to that dark hair I used to have. Too much to maintain. Besides, I think a new look like that at might age might frighten my animals. They wouldn’t even recognize me!”

http://empirenews.net/actress-betty-white-92-dyes-peacefully-in-her-los-angeles-home/

Kind of bizarre your posting this on this particular thread, hinge.

That's a fail for you Andy - read it this time.

Sorry 'bout that. It's late, I'm sleepy and I know that's no excuse.

I fell for it too, and was about to point out the spelling error.

I missed it also.

Very funny!

Yeah, I kinda knew mine was a joke that would have been (and rightfully, I think) differently perceived if it had been told by a person of lighter skinned persuasion. It just seemed to me to fit perfectly the description of "really bad joke", so that's why I shared it here. Thanks, y'all - for taking it in the spirit in which it was offered.
I think I first heard it told by Eddie Murphy doing standup - talking about "bad jokes about black people that he'd heard. Here's another he shared:

What do you call 1000 black people buried up to their necks? Afroturf.

I watched Eddie Murphy do his stand-up (Delirious) the other day on netflix.

Still as funny today as 30 years ago.

I love when he does stuff from his childhood. He completely turns into a 6-7 year old.

chanting when the ice cream truck comes by...

I got ice cream, I got ice cream
you don't got no ice cream
your parents are on welfare.

ok, sorry, this is supposed to be the bad jokes thread.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/2-dumb-2-tweet?utm_term=2z26ww4&sub=3436468_3735414

It is pretty funny. Because the image is really blurry I had a tough time figuring out the subject was Steve Wonder. Still is funny though.

The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says,"What a great chest you have!'

He tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby.'

He takes off his trousers and the blonde says,' "What massive calves you have!'

The body builder tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby.'

He then removes his underwear and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear.

The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her.

He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.

The blonde replies, 'I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was!'

I used to be a huge Van Halen fan until that time the ringtone on my phone cost me my job as a suicide negotiator

Hinge, it took me 5 minutes before I remembered the song "Jump", very sly, I'm impressed

A teacher at West Australian University reminded her pupils of
tomorrow's final exam.

"Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack, a serious personal injury,
illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other
excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-arsed teenager at the back of the room raised his hand and
asked, "What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and
utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled at the student, shook
her head and sweetly said,

"Well, I would expect you to write the exam with your other hand."