Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

Martha's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got injured, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. When I think about it now, I think you bring me bad luck!"

What does Yoko Ono have in common starving Somalians?

That one just cracks me up!

I give, what?

They all live off dead Beatles.

don't you mean dead Beetles?

I don't get it, it sounded funny when I heard it.

People say nothing is impossible.

I feel like doing the impossible...

http://www.buzzfeed.com/patricksmith/15-one-liners-from-british-comedians-that-are-both-terrible

What's the good thing about having Altzeimer's?

You get to meet new people every day!

A vertically challenged psychic was arrested one day. He escaped from jail and the newspaper headline read, "SMALL MEDIUM AT-LARGE."

oldy goldy

A couple of fellows are walking along and they spy a dog licking himself.
One fellow says"Wish I could do that"
The other guy replies "I'd pet him a couple of times before you try.

There's another that end with "Well, why don't you, Elmer. After all, she's your cow.

Cute!