Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

WHEN A FLY FALLS INTO A CUP OF COFFEE

The Italian - throws the cup, breaks it and walks away in a fit of rage.

The German - carefully washes the cup, sterilizes it and makes a new cup of coffee.

The Frenchman - takes out the fly and drinks the coffee.

The Chinese - eats the fly and throws away the coffee.

The Russian - drinks the coffee with the fly, since it came with no extra charge.

The Israeli - sells the coffee to the Frenchman, sells the fly to the Chinese, sells the cup to the Italian, drinks a cup of tea and uses the extra money to invent a device that prevents flies from falling into coffee.

The Palestinian - blames the Israeli for the fly falling into his coffee, protests the act to the UN as an act of aggression, takes a loan from the European Union to buy a new cup of coffee, uses the money to purchase explosives and then blows up the coffee house where the Italian, Frenchman, Chinese, German and Russian are all trying to explain to the Israeli that he should give his cup of tea to the Palestinian.


Now I understand.

I don't know if that really belongs on this thread, Advocate. That's not too bad.

You,

Finally! Thank god or buddha or whomever - or whatever.

Two 25-foot-long pythons meet in the jungle.
"We go back a long way" says one.

Sorry! Sometimes I cannot resist posting a clever one.

Actually, the Israeli takes out the fly, squeezes it over the cup to extract all the coffee from the fly, drinks the coffee, and gives the squeezed fly to a Palestinian in compensation for stealing the latter's house.

Now I like your answer.

"Its not you. Its me." ~ twins going through a photo album

Too good, and so seasonal, too.

These are supposed to be "bad" ;jokes, not disgusting ones. But maybe disgusting turns you on.

What was 'disgusting' in my post, that was not already 'disgusting' in yours?

That's only a joke, for crissakes! Don't take Advocate to heart, Olivier. He's a bit touchy about Jews and Israel; overly so. He can't see the flies for the bees.

That you immersed yourself in creating that post is disgusting.

Chill out. Remember: the IP conflict is fun!

I can tell that you are lying, your lips are moving.

How can that be? He's one of the best ventriloquist around.

Two men walk into a bar, one wearing a cowboy hat and the other wearing a Yankees cap. The guy in the Yankees cap approaches the bartender and makes a bet:

"I'll bet you $1,000 that I can put a shot glass at one end of your bar and piss into it from the other end of the bar without spilling a drop."
The bartender laughs and says, "You're crazy, but you're on."

The man positions a shot glass on one end, walks to the other end and unzips his fly. He then pisses everywhere -- all over the walls, over the bar top, all over the bottles of booze, and all over the bartender. The bartender roars with laughter and tells the man to pay up.

The guy in the Yankees cap pays up, laughing and smiling, too.

"What are you smiling at?" asks the bartender.
"You just lost $1,000!"
"Well, you see that guy in the cowboy hat over there crying? Before we came in, I bet him $10,000 that I could piss all over your bar, your walls, your liquor AND you, and not only would you not be mad -- you would laugh hysterically about it!"

Imposters are funny yes?

Oh, very definitely! Nobody knows who I am.