182
   

Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

 
 
panzade
 
  2  
Reply Tue 12 Nov, 2013 11:08 am
https://scontent-a-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc3/1457713_577152832358242_1579989715_n.jpg
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  2  
Reply Tue 12 Nov, 2013 02:19 pm

https://scontent-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/988760_796777737018348_1572769333_n.jpg
0 Replies
 
Romeo Fabulini
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Nov, 2013 03:09 pm
The previous Pope Ratzinger was an ex-nazi (you couldn't make it up)
I hear that he was conducting Mass one day when a fire engine raced past with its siren wailing and he started shouting as a reflex action- "Schnell! everyone of the rank of Obersturmbannfuhrer and above to the air raid shelters immediately, schnell, schnell!!"
panzade
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Nov, 2013 03:11 pm
@Romeo Fabulini,
What about the women and children?
0 Replies
 
vonny
 
  3  
Reply Wed 13 Nov, 2013 03:42 am
Wed 13 Nov, 2013 03:41 am

A thief in Paris planned to steal some Paintings from the Louvre.

After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van.

However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, 'Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings..'


" I had no Monet

To buy Degas


To make the Van Gogh.


See if you have De Gaulle to send this on to someone else.


I sent it to you because I figured I had nothing Toulouse!"
0 Replies
 
timur
 
  2  
Reply Wed 13 Nov, 2013 06:08 am
Vonny wrote:
I sent it to you because I figured I had nothing Toulouse!"
Or maybe you were in a "low track"...
Advocate
 
  4  
Reply Wed 13 Nov, 2013 09:04 am
We live in Echuca, Victoria and my Missus decided for the first time to wear a burka for a week just to see what the public reaction was like.

The first morning she was sworn at, punched on the nose, kicked up the arse and received death threats.

Heaven knows what's going to happen when she leaves the house.
0 Replies
 
vonny
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Nov, 2013 10:11 am
@timur,
Quote:
I sent it to you because I figured I had nothing Toulouse!"

Or maybe you were in a "low track"...


Laughing
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  2  
Reply Wed 13 Nov, 2013 03:13 pm
What do dyslexic zombies eat?

wait for it...

BRIANS.
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  4  
Reply Wed 13 Nov, 2013 03:15 pm
I always carry a picture of my wife in my wallet.

It reminds me of why there is no money in there....
hingehead
 
  3  
Reply Thu 14 Nov, 2013 02:42 pm
I like my step ladder but I still wish I knew my real ladder.
spendius
 
  2  
Reply Thu 14 Nov, 2013 02:48 pm
@hingehead,
Did you hear that someone broke into our local police station and stole the toilet?
Right now the cops have nothing to go on.....
0 Replies
 
panzade
 
  2  
Reply Thu 14 Nov, 2013 04:18 pm
@hingehead,
reminds of Rodney D
Quote:
My father carries around the picture of the kid that came with his wallet.


My Dad is so stupid. He works in a bank and got arrested for stealing pens.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Thu 14 Nov, 2013 09:20 pm
@hingehead,
I like that one.
spikepipsqueak
 
  10  
Reply Fri 15 Nov, 2013 08:05 pm
@ossobuco,
"Sorry, your password has been in use for 30 days and has expired -
you must register a new one."

New password is roses

"Sorry, too few characters."

pretty roses

"Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character."

1 pretty rose

"Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces."

1prettyrose

"Sorry, you must use at least 10 different characters."

1fuckingprettyrose

"Sorry, you must use at least one upper case character."

1FUCKINGprettyrose

"Sorry, you cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively."

1FuckingPrettyRose

"Sorry, you must use no fewer than 20 total characters."

1FuckingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessRightFuckingNow!

"Sorry, you cannot use punctuation."

1FuckingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessRightFuckingNow

"Sorry, that password is already in use."
Advocate
 
  2  
Reply Fri 15 Nov, 2013 10:52 pm
@spikepipsqueak,
Too ******* funny!
Roberta
 
  1  
Reply Sat 16 Nov, 2013 01:28 am
@Advocate,
I agree!
Advocate
 
  3  
Reply Sat 16 Nov, 2013 01:10 pm
Q: Did you hear about the person who forgot to pay their exorcist?

A: They were repossessed.
0 Replies
 
vonny
 
  2  
Reply Sat 16 Nov, 2013 03:43 pm
Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool?

THEY KEPT DROPPING THEIR TRUNKS!
0 Replies
 
vonny
 
  3  
Reply Sat 16 Nov, 2013 03:45 pm
Why did the pirate go to the Caribbean?

He wanted some arr and arr
0 Replies
 
 

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