205
   

Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

 
 
vonny
 
  3  
Reply Sat 16 Nov, 2013 03:46 pm
A blonde was at home watching TV with her friends when she heard a noise. She ran out just in time to see a thief drive off in her car.

"Did you see their face?" her friends asked when she came back inside.

"No, but it's okay -- I got the license plate number!"
0 Replies
 
vonny
 
  3  
Reply Sat 16 Nov, 2013 03:48 pm
A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blonde. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blonde. The bouncer is blonde. The man sitting over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde joke?"

The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  3  
Reply Sun 17 Nov, 2013 08:34 pm
https://scontent-b-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/1467409_185409571663230_1464995085_n.jpg
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  4  
Reply Sun 17 Nov, 2013 08:40 pm
https://scontent-b-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/1457483_642638655782262_83293964_n.jpg
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  5  
Reply Mon 18 Nov, 2013 11:05 pm
My brother didn't take kindly to jail.
He refused food and drink, and smeared feces on the walls.

That's the last time we're playing Monopoly....
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  3  
Reply Tue 19 Nov, 2013 06:44 am

https://scontent-a-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc3/1465369_540253216066513_1404023064_n.jpg
Advocate
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 Nov, 2013 03:24 pm
@Region Philbis,
A joke posted here cannot be too bad. However, your joke was too bad.
0 Replies
 
Lustig Andrei
 
  3  
Reply Wed 20 Nov, 2013 03:01 pm

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he
glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon
realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have
it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a
conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"
She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual
Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen
sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your
business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from
my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about
sexuality."

"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men
are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native
American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another
popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is
men of Jewish descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the
lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm
sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with
you. I don't even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."
spikepipsqueak
 
  3  
Reply Wed 20 Nov, 2013 06:19 pm
@Lustig Andrei,
There are three people is a boat with four cigarettes but nothing to light them with. So they throw one cigarette overboard, and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.


One who runs in ill fitting shoes suffers the agony of defeat.
hingehead
 
  1  
Reply Wed 20 Nov, 2013 06:32 pm
@spikepipsqueak,
http://able2know.org/topic/38838-1#post-1014334
Region Philbis
 
  3  
Reply Thu 21 Nov, 2013 12:29 pm

https://scontent-a-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/1455122_228491327320132_1726270117_n.jpg ...
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  2  
Reply Thu 21 Nov, 2013 12:47 pm

https://scontent-a-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc3/1425645_226433894192542_1162683755_n.jpg
Lustig Andrei
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 Nov, 2013 02:44 pm
@Region Philbis,
That belongs on the Geek&Nerd Humor thread, RP.
0 Replies
 
Advocate
 
  3  
Reply Thu 21 Nov, 2013 03:02 pm
My wife said to me the other day, "Boy, you're getting old! Look at all your wrinkles!"

I said, "They aren't wrinkles, they're laugh lines!"

She looked at me deadpanned, "Nothing is that funny."
Lustig Andrei
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 Nov, 2013 03:03 pm
@Advocate,
and that belongs on the Really Good Jokes thread.
hingehead
 
  3  
Reply Thu 21 Nov, 2013 05:03 pm
I just put pegs on the noses of a herd of cows and now they're booing me.
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 Nov, 2013 05:05 pm
@hingehead,
(That won't work for the Americans . . . peg doesn't mean the same thing.)
hingehead
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 Nov, 2013 05:18 pm
@Setanta,
Truly? What do they call them?
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 Nov, 2013 05:25 pm
Clothespins . . . now, there is a use of the word peg with clothing, but that is a clothes peg, as in a short piece of dowel rod inserted in a board which is attached to a wall, for hanging up clothing when not in use . . . but not for drying.

http://www.southwestpine.co.uk/webupload/SWPINE/CUSTOM/PEGRAILS/LARGE/painted-peg-rails-new-pic.jpg
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 Nov, 2013 05:39 pm
@Roberta,
And close to true.

Don't get me going on capchas. I gave up on one site, not getting six of them. If I remember, size and darkness of letters were interstreamed, off and on, with whether or not some letter might be capitalized, all the letters looking eerily similar.

Or not.

er, sorry, reading from a few pages back
0 Replies
 
 

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